Finally got around to taking some pictures of my most treasured possession.

As you can see I am very proud.

It's a beauty Ruski!!

And these pics do it more justice than the advert ones I'd seen before

Might also have something to do with the new level of love it has experienced since being adopted.

The missus is a Land Rover widow.

+ it had just been as washed as well as one can achieve during level 5 restrictions (requires rain).

Pics must have been taken today then, as it is the only time it has rained here for a while?

Looks like a good straight unit Rusky!

I've got a poinciana tree (like in the first pic) in my backyard too.

ahhh.... so that's what its called... the tree i mean

and well, better to be Landy widow than say a Camry one....

Hey Andro. Yeah the photos taken today. I'm enjoying the rain.

Looks like a poinciana at this time of year but it is not. Same tree as seen in a typical November ...

yesh, of course.... the jacaranda!

The place to be....

your backyard really looks very inviting dude

Thanks. You're welcome anytime.

Ah yes the Jacaranda tree.  (sometimes difficult to tell apart from the poinciana when not in bloom)

I must say your grass is greener than mine at the moment, but the little bit of rain we are getting today should green mine up in a few days.

My Zero (Magna) is also getting a good wash today.  

Green in patches thanks to the laundry.

LOL at zero. I used to call my old Galant the Zero. Although it was a Chrysler, it had a Mitsub sticker on the back window.

LOL

Looks beautiful, Ruski.  We don't have that many nice Landy's over here, particularly later model ones.

I like the combination of having the bog standard bar-tread spare and the high-tec Jap tyres tp trundle on.  Do they make much difference to handling with the bands removed from the sussie

I am chasing after another four bog standard rims with bar treads. Not a fan of the high tech Jap tyre. Handling ... hard to say. Still rough as guts.

I must admit that when I saw the title of this thread I thought it was possibly about the age old Hillman Avenger.  Just goes to show that there can be a considerable gap between thoughts and reality...

I keep thinking of something like this -

I adopted the name from a bloke who used it as a sales gimmick to sell his crusty old green lounge suite on Flea bay.

hahahahaha

I adopted the name of my car from a broody bloke who had lots of cash, but lived in a cave with some bats and wore a mask

The Avenger is about to undergo major surgery, specifically removal of rear axle shafts and differential. The rear drive has been providing me with the "about to shit itself" sensations for a while and is now operating like it has optional diff lock without an off switch. If all that makes any sense. I have resisted the temptation to put it in a workshop and am DIY'ing.

Hope to sponge plenty of advice from the good people at Landrovernet

Going to be a little busy the next few days and nights but wont be too far away. The temp workshop is merely metres from the tangle station as shown. Ha.

hahahaha You've got a good set up there Ruski!

I can't believe you're gonna DIY.... how long is it gonna take ya?

Ideally I will have it dismantled tonight and if not tomorrow night. Gather replacement parts through the week. Reassemble the weekend. Realistically though ... hard to say given I've never dropped a diff in this life as yet. The suck it and see approach might prolong it another week.

Now that's what you call commitment!

The missus used a different word.

hehehehe

Oops

Good luck!  Last major project I did was swapping the transmission in my Truck. Heaps of fun for all!

hehehe Ruski wasn't thinking it was much fun towards the end of today

One of the shafts is stuck... oops

Drivers side half shaft is not coming out like it should. I can move it an inch but it snaps back into place with finger losing force.

I am now armed with a 1000 kg chain pulley which will attach to a nylon strap wrapped around the Jacaranda tree. D shackles through two of the six drive flange holes and (hopefully) away we go.

Hopefully that all it yanks out!

My last post on Landrovernet ...

Wheel nuts are shouldered at both ends with no spacers .

Diff is rear.

The shaft is stuck in there for the duration like a honeymooners tadger.

The plan from here is thwart with danger. It involves chaining a 1t pulley block to the Jacaranda tree (solid) in the yard and coaxing it out that way. It will need to be done with the utmost precision. Lining up the projected flight path with the tree which will be wrapped with a mattress will be essential as I would imagine when the shaft finally "gives" it will come out like a 9K38 Igla. (We live under the flight path too LOL).

The brother (a fitter and turner) thinks we can safely wedge it out but where's the youtube moment in that?

ROFL!!!!

Success!

Bloody great spring wrapped around it like a Death Adder. Shaft was going nowhere unless the hub (top left) and stub axle (bottom left) came off too. Diff centre is on the right (under the break drum). It's rooted.

You got it out??

whoo hoo!!

Diff centre might be OK. The axle has had about 10mm chewed of the end of it ...

oops

So how'd you finally get it out?

There was a spring holding it behind the stub axle. No amount of beating would have moved it. This axle is not OEM as far I know. Someone has told me it is a Limited Slip Diff but I disagree. I think it is he who has the LSD issues.

Heres a close up of the axle and spring ...

Turns out what I have is a rudimentary lock diff. The locking axle was chewed up as shown two pics up. Finally got some time together to put it all back together. This is me putting the diff centre back in. Say what you will about flimsy Rover diffs but I'm here to tell you they are fucking heavy.

HAHAHA

Oh dear....

I put bearings in the diff in my 63 Nova 25 years ago.  Glad they're still good as I don't want to do it again.

It's back!

All done??

All good?

All done and all good.

Good stuff!!

Well done Ruski!
 

Thinking of trading up ...

101

LOL! Remind me to keep out of its (and your) way!

... and it's in Bonnie Doon.

"$12.5K? Tell him he's dreamin' ... "

hahahah

Yeah, asking a bit much isn't it?

They are playing a little hard on the ...

" ... 1 of 46 in Australia... "

bit.

Still and all, I want it.

Parking would be a bitch

As far as clearance in undercover goes, yes. But it would make reverse parking easier.

hahaha

I think I'm going to weigh in on this auction. I think a $12.5 bid would secure it. Too much it is, yes. So maybe I need to find out where it is "advertised elsewhere ... " and make a lesser offer when it gets passed in.

Sounds like a plan!

Just one minor detail to overcome ...

Dual voltage.  Wouldn't touch it unless there were a heap of spares...

Would be worth the money if he threw in a 50 Cal machine gun, and a rocket launcher.

In which case, I'd go along for the ride too! hehehe

I've always fantasized about blasting irritating, slow cars out of my way....

That's something we've got in common!

hahaha

... and it's in Bonnie Doon.

It's been driving up and down The Banks and Braes.............

Just one minor detail to overcome ...

In our house there would be two minor details.

1. $12,500 dollars

2.  If I had $12,500 dollars to spend, then Mrs Dent might have a different viewpoint on how the funds were allocated for purchases...

After all, when you step out of the car, you need shoes to walk in...

Arthur ... agreed, however I hit a dead end at #1

My dad's Land Rover s1:

...complete with detatchable lawn mower.

1.5L Rover engine.

Can do 0-60 in several hours. Top speed a dizzying 70mph.

LOL!

Love the mower touch

The Avenger can do 0 to 60 in the same day provided there are no head winds or inclines.

It is truly terrifying going more than 50mph in that.

I think the Flymo in the back is a nice touch, but it may have been more authentic with a Rover mower.

I think the Lawn Mower is a bit too advanced to be built by Rover.

I think Ruskie should change this thread title from "The Green Avenger" to "The Batman Slayer"

grrrrrrr

I think the Lawn Mower is a bit too advanced to be built by Rover.

HAHAHAHA

Wrong Rover.

Theres the Rover which created the Landy among other things:  =

and in oz theres the Lawn Mower company of the same name but not affiliated in any way with the company.

...which thanks to communists is now owned by Ford.

So which one made the Lunar Rover then??

Anti-communists.

They made the lunar rover.

I've just found the rovers, they are here!

Can't see any communists though. 

Communists make good cars though.

Yeah, the Trabant (Trabi) was a fine piece of automotive engineering. 

Have a look at it!

Looks cute enough, but 18hp??

LOL!

Just looking at the complete list of the top 50 worst cars.... no japanese cars on it. What does that say?

The list was prob composed in Japan???

They don't last long enough to be considered good or bad?

They don't last long enough? You're kidding right?

They're the energizer bunny of vehicles!

My opinion is swayed heavily by the experiences with an '82 Corona, or The Coronary as it was known.

It was a car-in-law

hahahaha

Trabants were made out of a strange type of plasticy asbestosy material which cannot be recycled. They litter most of eastern europe.

Votes for the Ssangyong Actyon?

Or alternatively the AMC pacer which had a 4 litre engine producing a dizzying 70bhp!

Woo! I killed a topic!

Murderer!!

Ruski's gonna get you! 

hahahaha

I have an inflatable cheese and Im not afraid to use it!

Does an inflatable cheese stand a chance against Ruski's Green Avenger coming at you at 30km/h?

Yes.

@Dek.  I think it would be best to obtain a current status from Ruskie before issueing threats or challenges in relation to The Green Avenger.  Especially when speeds in excess of stationary are involved... LOL

LOL. Good point.

(Current status is go)

hehehehe

Will keep that in mind Arthur

Note to self: Inflaitable cheeses kill topics...

Note to self: 'Note to self: Inflaitable Cheese kill topics' kill topics.

Update ... (for Arthur)

Have acquired two more bog standard rims with even boggier standard bar treads in good nick. Only one to go to get rolling. Would have to throw one of the high tech wide Jap tyres on the bonnet though. Visibility of the passanger side front corner might go from nothing to less.

Inflatable cheese is OK.

Are the Bar Treads legal these days?

Probably not.

LOL! Good one

Btw, I saw a BMW 335 coupe with the license plate: Ruski.

Something you wanna tell us?

I have recently changed the plates on the Avenger.

If a coupe is a "two-door" car then yes, I have a coupe.

LOL!!

The badge too?

The Avenger notched up another victim this afternoon. A Clunkadore ute ... or a Crumpledore as it is now.

Details ...

Driver A (him) pulled over to the left of the road, came to a stop or near enough to, then made a right hand u-bolt across the path of Driver B (The Avenger) and across a double line adjoining a median. Actually he didn't make it across the double lines before I managed to skewer him in a classic T-Bone. The styleside tray now has a pretty reasonable imprint of a Land Rover Bull Bar (which I might add has been fucking bent on the passenger side along with a small crease in the guard). In the aftermath, Driver A asked Driver B if he had seen his right hand indicator. I just laughed. I knew then he was uninsured.

Oh no!!!

How did the Avenger pull up??

With a screech and a bang.

aiiii.... you psycho

I meant damage, apart from the bull bar?

Driver A was very busy laying blame until I said, OK, lets get the Police involved. We exchanged details and I expect I will hear from him but he will have to kow-tow. I have checked the laws and statutes. He fucked up. He is only lucky that the answer to this question ...

How did the Avenger pull up??

... is very well. If he wants to argue the toss I will add the bill to straighten the bull bar and passenger side guard to the 5 grand or so he is up for, but for now, I'm not up for a chase through small claims. I will put up a photo of the damage in the daylight. It is minor. Annoying but minor.

Oh yeah, my number plate is mashed.

Oddly enough it happened about 500 metres from the recent fine.

Aiii...

Okay, good thing the avenger lives to smack into another silly billy

Having said all that ... I have some pity for the poor sod. Some but not much.

I'm guessing his car is a write off?

Maybe not. It will need at least a new tray but he did drive it away.

Oh!

I hate people who drive like wankers and expect other drivers to compensate for their, well, wank driving.  Pity you are not in a position to ensure that once he's paid out to you that you can arrange for a slow lingering death for him.

*nods*

Feed him to the fishes I say!

Have a few days off and plan to give the Avenger an Electronic Ignition. At the same time I must make a decision on the saggy rear springs and address the hideous noise in the far side front wheel. Probably a bearing. Some broken wheel studs to replace also.

Lots of fun ahead!

Just replace the points in the (presumably) Lucas distributor and save a lot of cash.

If you remove those 4 bags of cement (that you bought at Bunnings last year and never got around to using) from the rear of the Landy, you will possibly eliminate the need to reset the rear springs.

The noise in the NSF wheel is probably caused by that dog that you ran over a few weeks ago, so just hose him out. (don't worry about the water restrictions, just tell the council inspectors that you know me)

There you go now, look at all the time and money that I've saved you.

All you have to do now is replace a few wheel studs and then sit back and have a coldie, and the weather being as it is, you won't even have to keep your beer in the fridge. 

Your optimism is noted Andro. However ...

The current dizzy is a Ducellier and needs to be thrown into one of the deeper sections of Moreton Bay. A replacement bog standard Lucas was more than the English electronic.

There are 6 bag of cement in the back. The folded seam under the wheel arches has long lost all the paint and the Al is wearing thin (from tyres rubbing).

The rotting carcass of a brown dog adds to the aesthetics so I'll leave ot there.

The bearings will need to come off in order to replace the wheel studs. My glasses are just not dark enough to ignore what I am likely to see unless I do it with both eyes shut.

Having a coldie now for the record. The missus flew out to Weeelungtun, Eenzeed this morning till Sunday so I suspect she will be having a few cold ones of another sort. Un eeny case, she is more into the punkie bars, mulk sheeeks and the chocolate coated munties. (Bug Feeler should be able to translate)

hahahahaha, wull I treed to hilp, sorry I got et wrung.

Hope your missus has a nice time in Niew Zilland.

Equiped with its English Lucas 45D electronic ignition gizmo and a refurbed Stromberg BXOV1 Carburettor, the Avenger purrs like a kitten and goes like a rocket. Well not quite a rocket. But horsepower has got to be in double figures now. I'm nervous for the clutch and nervous for me when the day comes when I no longer have to be nervous for the clutch.

The added power has also amplified the various existing clunks and may also have created some new ones. Exciting times ...

On something totally unrelated but akin to the concept of making an engine run better being detrimental to other bits of the car.  An old friend of mine is a mini enthusiast.  Some years ago he obtained a 1972 mini Cooper S and decided to give it the treatment.  Re-built the bodywork, interior etc etc etc and gave the engine, gearbox, brakes and suspension a thorough working over.   New ratio's in the gearbox, differential, twin SU carbs, big-blow exhaust, balanced crank etc... and the icing on the cake was the new Oselli cylinder head with 4 valves per pot and high-lift cam.   He was left with one problem that he took ages to solve.  The alternator was constantly playing up.  Diodes breaking down and the brushes being eaten up and getting very hot.  The problem turned out to be the RPM factor.  The alternator couldn't cope  with the fact that the engine could now blast up to 10,000 RPM....

LOL. I'm pushing it over 3,500 rpm now. The smoke screen on start up is slowly getting worse. It is in desperate need of a head job. If it gets lucky and gets one it will only end up shitting its rings.

hi all

Bollocks.

Have had to revert to the old points and condenser distributor. I suspect my ignorance wrt the high powered coil and not replacing the said coil with one suited to the electronic ignition has resulted in a meltdown of the ignition module. It more or less just stopped about 3km from home on Saturday. The first time the Avenger has been under tow since I've had it. My beloved brother turned up in his Nissan and we skull dragged it. There were a few special moments. A small debacle involving a snapped tow rope on the Jack Flynn Memorial overpass in front of a squad car ... Fortunately the officers in the car had the blinkers on. How they did not see us was puzzling. The other involved a near take out of an ambitions Cadel Evans attempting a passanger side overtake. Ordinarily a fair move on his part, but the Landy in tow was actually moving faster than it would under its own steam.

This might be the Avengers subtle way of telling me to take the fancy new modern technology, shove it up my arse and walk home.

Oh dear.  Probably my fault Ruskie for telling that earlier story.  Sorry...

HAHAHAHAHA

I'm sorry Ruski, it's nothing to laugh at, what has happened to the Green Avenger, but your telling of the tale is hilarious!!

So how now? Can you fix it?

Yes. Have the old technology back in and going well enough. Have also got a replacement electronic module but wont put it back in till I know what blew it.

Oh Phew!!

Apparently what I need is a high resistance coil. I already have a Botch GT40R coil and ballast resistor on it but unfortunately when it arrives at auto-electrics I can mess around with it provided all is working but fault diagnosis is another thing ...

FIX IT!

That phrase is usually preceded by another F word.

LOL!!

Not when I say it

Pisses me off when I ebay search Land Rover and among other things get three pages of "mod chips" for Fords and other shit like that.

Hard to come by landy stuff? Or is it just that ebay's search sucks?

Depends what your looking for. Plenty of second hand bits around. I'm looking for a rag top but will probably have to go brand new. Ebay search sucks but dud results might be more a function of the Lizards who are trying to sell their crap.

Is there a manufacturer there who makes them?

In any case I can only think of one place to insert one ...

I am thinking that a rag top insertion would be a very painful process..

I hear that KY jelly can help...

Re insertion ... I was referring to the mod chips. Rag tops are made by exmoor trim. I think they are in Surrey.

Not sure if they do KY. Petroleum Jelly perhaps ... ?

Weird.  When you say "mod chips" I kinda think MOD (as in Ministry of Defence) chips.  Now that would be interesting.  How to de-tune the most un-tuned vehicle never to be tuned...

and we used to refer to them as the Gland Rover...

hi......i'm just stopping by to be a supportive friend....

....i don't think there is anything that i can  contribute to the conversation....

oh...yeah....i hate stupid drivers, too..

.

Bluegirl...!  Nice to see you in the Cars forum.  Contributions by you raise the level beyond that which any of us could possibly imagine or hope for...

Funnily enough, stupid drivers are not allowed in here.

Except Dek...

um.....i'm going to take that as a compliment.......i think....

i'm a very supportive friend.

HEY!!!!

Mr Dent make dek mad

Is that a red Landy, deezee??

I stole The Green Avenger and painted it red so that Ruski won't find me....

shhhhh

The only thing that sticks out more than a green Land Rover is a tie between dogs balls and a red Land Rover.

Never seen a dog with a tie beteen his balls..

What about a dead heat?

Sounds ok to me...... If it's dead but still hot, we could have a roadkill barbie.

I visited the factory a few years ago. It changed a lot.

Mr Dent make dek mad

Actually Dek, I have no idea how good or bad your driving skills are.  Sorry for making you mad, I guess that I could now be responsible for you getting a lobotomy (assuming they still do them in Oz)

I'll have you know dek has excellent driving skillz!

Just today, I avoided an accident by braking hard...

I had a similar experience this morning. In the wet. Full lock up lurching to the left towards the latter stages. My experience was more along the lines of "avoiding a wanker".

In other news ... I'm certain by the sounds that the missus 4 year (or about 35,000km) old Impreza is up for at least one CV joint. The best part about this is ...

1. I will replace both

2. It will be expensive

3. This in turn will justify any future work proposed for the Avenger and the constant eye rolling directed towards it and its owner will be rebutted with phases containing key words such as ... "Fuji = Fucking Useless Japanese Invention"

plus ...

4. When we go anywhere I will suggest we take the reliable vehicle.

One back for the good team.

LOL!!

Yes. Now retempering 36 year springs and replacing similar vintage shock absorbers doesn't seem so frivolous now.

No, they sure don't...

lol......i like the way you think, ruski.......

but only because i'm not married to you......

I think the Impreza would be the more comfortable vehicle on a long drive Ruski!

Both my sons had Subi's (Brumby's) at some stage in their early careers, & If i remember correctly one son reckoned that replacing the CV joints was a prick of a job, but they have probably made the Impreza easier to service than the Brumby's were.

I'm not touching it.

You'll save money if you do!

Maybe so but I am happy to pass the liability of this one on to the mechanic. What would happen if I did it would be ... I'd start around Saturday before lunch. Something would go amiss late on Saturday arvo and there would be nothing I can do about it til Monday when I have to work as does the Impreza's pilot. And she'd have her wings clipped. I have forseen it. Avoiding this situation is far more fortuitous than an hour and a halfs labour that a decent mechanic would take to do it.

The difference between the Avenger and the Impreza is the Av can be stiched up and on the road again under most disasterous circumstances. My limited knowledge of the Subaru says it cannot.

Yep, I concur...

And you don't wanna lose what ever credit the Avenger just gained

The CV's on the Impreza are fine. I took it for a drive tonight. I goes like a shower of shit (ie. fast) compared to the Landy. Hideous buzzing noise coming from power steering region at full lock either way. I have no dealings with power steering. I don't think I've ever had the Landy at full lock either so I am pleading ignorance.

Arthur Dent

These would be the dogs bollocks

Except dogs balls would still stick out a little more.

Buzzing noise from power steering could be caused by pressure relief valves on full lock, or low oil level in pump.

Some power steering units make a noise on full lock, but I cant say if this is normal with the Impreza.

The Avenger ran out of brakes this afternoon and has forced my hand to repair with new parts this weekend. It was exactly as described by the late Harry Chapin in his best tune - 30,000lbs of Bananas ...

" ... the pedal floored easy without a sound ... he said 'Christ'. It was funny how he named the only man who could save him now."

Lucky it doesn't go all that quick.

The guilty brake cylinders have been removed and lunchtime tomorrow will be a train ride to Fairfield and back to acquire newies. Except for their drowning in brake fluid, the shoes still look good and can be resurrected. The shitty Fairey locking hubs will also be replaced with new ones that actually work without sounding like maraccas when locked in. Not sure how to get these off yet but persuasive methods that have worked in the past (ie. hammer and the short lever bar) are at the ready. The broken wheel stud will also be addressed. Will do all five of these on each front wheel. Budget constraints mean the rear brakes will be left as is ... ie. working for now.

Beloved brother (a qualified fitter) is on standby to manage the operation.

hahahaha That tune is funny.

Hope the failure didn't lead to a head on with anything?

Beloved brother (a qualified fitter) is on standby to manage the operation.

"Ok, pump em up......ok pumped up.........*releases bleeder*..........down..........Ok pump em up again........Ok...........down...........again..........ok...........down........once more.........Ok.........down.......

Ok top up the master cylinder again .......etc etc etc.....

Have fun...

Watch you don't get any brake fluid on the paintwork...

*chuckles to self about very poor joke*

LOL Arthur. And Andro.

The inside of the high tech Jap wheel is covered in brake fluid.

Of the three others that live here none are able to grasp the concept of ... down and hold .... wait ... now up. I have tried those "hose and clamp with a non return valve immersed in the hydraulic fluid bottle" things in the past but they don't work as well as two people.

The new free wheel hubs are very bling.

Sounds like you need to start training your boys!

Hahaha, it reminds me of one time my son rang me up one weekend and said "Can you come over here and help me bleed my brakes", I said  "isn't your wife there",  son said "yeah she's here alright, but I've just spent 15 mins trying to bleed one wheel and it's still not right, and I've still got another 3 to go, I'll be here all night at this rate".  So I went over there and we finished it in a little over 5 mins..

It's strange how some people can't grasp what you're trying to achieve when bleeding brakes, and it's not limited to women either..

It's bleeding obvious.

Bet it would lead to some bloodshed between the bleeders and the bleedin' newbies....

It has been a cause of marital tension (for some couples) for many years now..

LOL!

Tension over brakes....

All done. Brakes are locking up and in a straight line. Both relative new features.

Picture of the bling hubs ...

Note the broken wheel stud. Next time.

So shiny....

*gets mesmerized*

Yes. And they work. Can now go off road again.

Andro ...

we finished it in a little over 5 mins

We spent about a half hour per wheel, then adjusted the shoes (30 min) and about another 10 per wheel again. There was more air than fluid in the system. It is a no servo single circuit ie. archaic and one goes they all go.

Yeah, well the brake bleed job I was talking about was only on a Toyota Corolla, having a tendem master cylinder and as only the rear wheel cylinders had been replaced, it only took two people (who knew what they were doing) about 5 mins..

But I understand the probs you can have with Land Rover brakes..

And I must say that the free wheel hubs look very flash, much better than the old 'Warn' hubs that used to be available in the past..(had them on the old G60 Patrol I had for a while).

The old ones were Fairey's. Crap.

I would have been only a few streets away last night. Brother lives in one of the streets off Crawford Road.

Ah yes, used to go along Crawford Rd on my way to work, when I worked on the northside..Over the old Sir james Holt ferry and then later the Gateway Bridge..

When I first arrived here, you couldn't enter Crawford Rd from School St, only via Kianawah Rd and to get there from this end you had to go along Evelyn St, Kianawah Rd, and thence into Crawford Rd,

It was all bush and horse paddocks back then. (the early1960's)

Sorted. We are electronic again. This time with the right coil. Hopefully.

Got beaten by the rain. Hard to tune a motor when rain drops are falling on the exhaust headers and making that fizzing noise when water instantly boils. So as a result the timing might be a little retarded. Quick lap of the block confirmed it's a bit sluggish. Will put the timing strobe on it tomorrow.

Have been getting a laugh out of the safety incident reports at work so I decided to write one up of my own ...

Immediately following the safe delivery of Child A (Buggerlugs) and Child B (Boofhead) to the daycare centre, Person C who from this point forth will be known as Driver A of a green '72 Series 3 Land Rover Short Wheel Base attempted to shift to third gear after gaining sufficient momentum using gears 1 and 2 from a set of traffic lights only to find the clutch pedal floored easy with no resistance. Given the time of this incident was in line with the regular morning peak hour traffic load, it is needless to say a text book brown trouser moment was encountered. Driver A had previously gained approximately 18 months knowledge of the leaky clutch master cylinder and would generally top it up with hydraulic fluid monthly. These types of leaks are fairly standard for old and new Land Rovers, given that, in general, if a particular component that is driven, lubricated or cooled by fluid is not leaking, the likelihood is that it has completely run out of the necessary fluid/water/oil required for it to function correctly or in most cases, the makeshift fashion in which it would ordinarily operate. Furthermore, Driver A noted that the frequency of fluid top ups had in recent times increased, to approximately one week intervals. Driver A summed up the situation and decided to alter the plan and make a go for home without using the clutch, at which point, Person D's vehicle would be seconded in order to dispatch Driver A to the train station. Person D will at no point be known as Driver B of the Land Rover because she refuses to be so much as Passenger A of the vehicle. As a result, the Land Rover is one of the three known safe havens. The power tools aisle at Bunnings or any Cricket Ground in the world are the other two. To put this into perspective, shoe shops are generally the polar opposite of a safe haven. In any case, the ensuing noise created by the force required to jam the gearbox into first gear without a clutch at a standstill attracted the attention of several potential witnesses, within about a mile and a half radius however this was difficult to estimate without the aid or a working odometer. A laboratory simulation of the gear changes could easily be re-created using a bag of marbles with a golf club hanging out of the open end. Once forward motion was achieved, an itinerary was designed on the run with the aim to either minimise or completely eliminate the need to stop the vehicle. Alternatively, the plan was to minimise or eliminate damage to any vehicles stupid enough to stop in the chosen path, or simply to drive over as few pedestrians as possible in the event. Once the destination was reached, the Land Rover was brought to a standstill and secured. Not that anyone in their right mind would steal it. The likelihood that it would be returned immediately with subsequent complaints regarding the general functional integrity is high to extreme.

That was a true account of this morings events but was inspired by an actual Safety Incident report as follows ...

(Company Name Removed) was playing touch football in the lunchtime competition. It was the second half and (Company Name Removed) was running west. (Company Name Removed) was attacking and was approximately 10 metres from the try line. Person A played the ball to Person B who passed it to Person C. Person C then ran forward a few metres before passing the ball to Person D, who was playing on the left wing. Person D then also ran forward a few metres before attempting to pass the ball back to Person C. This pass was intercepted by an opposition player who then began to sprint to the opposite try line. The opposition player was running down the left side of the field (his right side) and I pursued him from the centre of the field. I was running at approximately 45 degrees down the field in an attempt to cut-off the opposition player before he reached the try line. As I approached the player (and he approached the try line) he began to fall forward in an attempt to dive over the try line without me touching him. As he was doing this I was able to touch him as I lunged towards him. I then continued to travel over the side line and into a sign post.

LOL Ruski, I love reading your posts!!!

How's the Rover doing now?

All is well again. I took the trip to Fairfield at lunch time (no time for touch football with wankers), got a new master cylinder and we are go. Mind you it took till after midnight to complete and we were a bit noisy. But We will be moving from here on Friday so I don't give a shit.

Oh wow. What inspired the move?

The sum of many small things really. Not least of which is that I've never lived onthe dark side of the river.

Jesus I'm going to be stuffed tomorrow. Have just knocked over three Goldies as you do after a session under the bonnet

Only three?

Yes. That's four more than I usually have.

LOL - you're up rather early considering how late you were up last night?

ROFL!!!

Too good.

Hidden inside Landy Driver A is a poet-novelist laureate unleashed every now and then to our delight.

Turns out it was the slave cylinder. Same thing happened tonight. Would have replaced the slave at the same time as the master but it turned out old mate at Fairfield didn't have one in stock on Monday. Hope he has one tomorrow fuck-rying out loud.

Would have been easier (and cheaper) too..

Maybe the role-playing isn't working for ya...

Yep. Easier. I got the slave out tonight in 15 min. The master took a lot of swearing to remove. The old one was near completely rooted. Every time I topped it up with fluid in the past it instantly turned black. Tomorrow night I will be pleased to have done both. Noted the higher resistance in the pedal this morning while it worked for a few miles. Gear changes smoother. I wonder if the pressure from the new master was terminal for the slave? Probably not. I'd say it was on borrowed time anyway. I have 10 dollars that says the clutch itself shits itself while I am dragging an 8 x 5 trailer with the sum of my lifes possessions to the other side of town on the weekend?

Noted also a few holes in the exhaust last night at the big bend. No wonder it is smelling a bit smokey inside.

Must be exhausted

(hehehe sowwee, couldn't help myself)

Not so easy to put the new slave in place. The rigid hydraulic pipes never go back in like they came out. Add to that I had slightly less than fuck all space to work in. Nicely hidden above the cross member.

Maybe you should start paying it a fair wage...

Oh Gosh. I really should stop it. But all the terms you use lend themselves to it.
Plus I have nothing constructive to say about the repairing process itself

The rigid hydraulic pipes never go back in like they came out.

Sometimes it's easier to loosely screw the thread of the hydraulic pipe fitting into the cylinder, before finally bolting the cylinder to the clutch housing. (same applies to brake lines & cylinders)

I have this feeling that as soon as you tackle the exhaust problem that you will spot or cause another problem.

It just proves that cars are like women.  Unreliable and a pain in the neck when they have even the smallest of problems.

*slips quietly into a nuclear bomb-proof shelter*

*ahem*

I have this feeling that as soon as you tackle the exhaust problem that you will spot or ...

Yep Arthur. The rear universal joint is working but otherwise knackered.

It just proves that cars are like women

When I was 16 my Dad said to me "If it's got tits or wheels it's trouble ..."

Avenger performed beautifully during the house move. No internet at new house yet. Bigpond. Needs no further comment. Details of the move to come.

Ah! So it's happened already! I was guessing you'd be in between houses, given your absence

Yes the move was a fairly big one. In a few respects ... Mainly the 25km trip from the old place to the new place, which incorporated a run through the city whichever way you looked at it. I opted for the Story Bridge run and through Fortitude Valley, past the RBH and through the road works associated with that. That brought a special moment or two particularly the end of Brunswick St as you go up the hill and across Gregory Terrace. As suggested above, I did up the brakes the night before and was surprised by the amount of turn I could get on the rear wheel with it lifted and in gear. So I turned my attention to the clunking noise that was associated... and almost shit myself when I saw the state of the last universal joint of the tailshaft. Fucking nearly flogged out was the phrase I can recall. Anyway, with the brakes adjusted up and ready in my mind to drag two ton across town a few times ... I thought, this is going to shit itself on the first hill start. So with no time for anything, I chanced it.

Back to Brunswick St ... yes .. I had to crawl up that and a few other hills in low range surrounded in traffic in order to avoid stopping and having to take up drive with that amount of weight on the back and a rooted UJ. Managed to go OK except for one spot where I could not avoid it. I thought the tailshaft was going to shake its way through the floor and say hello.

But the distance and condition of the UJ's shouldn't in any way minimise the other issue which is THE AMOUNT OF SHIT WE SEEM TO HAVE. I did not know we had half of it and wouldn't know what purpose three quarters of it serves. It ended up being eight return trips. Jeez when I unhitched that trailer the Avenger went like a sports car. The other benefit was the tow ball that I could never get off managed to work its way loose midway through about the fourth journey. Nice.

We have been there two months now and the Avenger doesn't often get a run these days owing to the close proximity of the train station. 282 metres to be exact or 302 of my usual casual strides. I had to bolt the other day in the rain and was trying to count the strides at full throttle but lost count when I nearly went arse over breakfast time in a puddle that I thought was not so deep.

The moral of the story ... UJ's are still in the same condition. One of these days I'll get around to changing them but I will probably be in the MOFNW when it happens.

LOL!

My dear Ruski, you really need to write a novel.

The amazing paragraphs you have in here can serve as the first chapter. Love it!

I got excited when I came in here and saw new posts in the green avenger topic! I love reading your posts!

Realised I haven't been to a servo in about 6 weeks. That in mind I thought I'd tune the Avenger last night. She said no.

Huh?

You wanted to tune the Avenger and it had no fuel?

LOL. Tune also may mean try out your best pick up lines.

errrmmmm

... still a quarter tank. Was out for a short drive Sunday and noted it pop pop popping down hill on over-run. Sounded like it was running too rich and turns out it was.

ohhh

Have had another hard top sitting on the driveway for about a month and the Minister for and War and Finance is applying the blow torch so I thought I'd best get into it. Should be done tomorrow but will sit with a tarp over it tonight. Never gone topless before so I took the chance to go up the road for takeaway tonight and fun as it was when I got back I reckon I was wearing the bollocks as ear rings. It's been bloody cold of late. I'd get out there now and keep going under fluoro but bugger that for a joke. Plus I don't quite get the hard top to tub seals. In my mind they should take a 90 degree bend at the rear and round off at the back door but all I have is a straight piece. Will get it to work somehow. Also am out of gelatinous muck to stick them on before I drop it on the tub. In any case here's some Landy Porn to go. The "new" roof in amongst it all is the whiter of the two with the bloody great spotty on the back and without the ridiculous hatches etc that only make the leaks worse ...

I can't see no Landy!!!

ROFL @ Landy porn

Photo links sorted.

*grin*

I wanna ride in that!!!

Scarf gloves and beanie.

errrm.... I have none of those...

Take me anyway?

Put the angle grinder through the old roof today so I could fit it in the tub in two pieces and take it up to the dump. Shit a brick I hate those things (grinders). Yes they are handy and do a lot of jobs that no other tool in the shed will do but fuck me if I didn't get plenty kick and attitude from the bastard. Recipe to lose multiple parts of th body at once. On top of that the brown shag pile carpet that was glued to the under side of the roof nearly caught fire a few times. Good ridance to that. Saw the big boss up at the dump too. Odd place to see him. We talked more than we have for the last 18 months in total. He is a long expat Englishman so he knows enough about Landies to know to drive a Volvo SUV instead. He was asking plenty of questions about it too. I pointed out that the roof was now in the pit and gettng crushed by the front end loader as we spoke and the removal of it gave the rear end about a 1 inch lift in height. So we talked suspension which I can do till the cows come in and I told him eventually I want to put (cost prohibative) parabolic springs on it for the height/comfort/articulation factor. His reply was a dry "when finances permit I suppose?". That was an awkward moment. I kept the obvious response "When will that be you think?" ... to myself.

LOL! Oops

So, what was he doing there?

My guess ... the white goods must have passed the 12 month old mark and they needed replacing. Should have checked it out. We need a new fridge.

hahahaha terrible....

I "ran" in here like an excited child, ready for *story-time* 

I can't say enough how I love reading your posts Ruski... one day when I work in publishing, you're gonna make me rich

Deal. This is more or less just a general record of what has and hasn't happened to the Avenger but pleased you find it entertaining.

Oddly enough I post regularly on an English kept forum of backyard Land Rover experts sush as myself. Most questions can get answered there and there's some terrific "rebuild" threads there too. Am experiencing a little trouble there with the moderators though. The fucking profanity filter is a real prick of thing to work with and to get a message across with out ****ing the shit out of it is difficult. So I have taken to bypassing with words such as bo11ocks and bu&&er, both of which are on the banned list. For this I got into a bit of trouble.

Well there will be no censorship in your book, I guarantee it!

Fuck em if they can't take it!

Besides, I'm sure we appreciate you more then they do!

Wowh..I love that purple tree..hhehe..nice pic..

Yep me too. But I don't live there anymore

Why not Ruski73? Btw, what's ur name? hehe

Why not? Onward and upward. Name ... Ruski Seventythree.

We most definitely appreciate him more than they do! We just can't help him with Landy related stuff

hehe...

The new roof went on Saturday and is now bolted down tight and sealed. Still no swing up rear door on yet but have it reversed up against the garage door well under the eave to keep the rain out. Have had two solid days of rain to test out the new level of water resistance and happy to say so far so dry. Except the LHS door which doesn't have its seal on it yet. I went to put it a new fancy one piece Defender job door seal on Sunday after having it lying around for 18 months. The one I put on the RHS (drivers side) has been fantastic if not for the bent door top pushing everything out of alignment. So I opened the bag and bugger me if I didn't have another right hand side seal. I ordered these bits and pieces that long ago and coupled with the fact that they came from Derby, East Midlands, England, UK, Earth, Solar System, Frigging Universe ... I figured I had no come back on it. In any case I kind of butchered the one I did 18 months ago so I'll replace that and get another for the left. The bent door top has an F clamp on it to try to get it back into shape. A photo of the problem below ...

First one shows the gap between the windscreen and the door top has converged at the top. Second one shows what this gap should be although a little wide.

I was able to get the top of the windscreen a little further forward when I bolted it to the roof by forcing it forward with both feet while tightening the bolts with both hands. Not sure how that would have looked but did notice a few passers by speed up to get away from the weirdo.

LOL!!

I want a full piccy of the Landy in all its glory now!

Some shots of the Bribie Island day trip ...

1. The access track ...

2. The first lagoon ...

3. Past the large WWII gun turret ...

4. Up to the last turret (beyond which northern access prohibited)

5. Looking North to Caloundra ...

6. One of the locals ...

7. Looks like a saltwater kangaroo ...

8. Also some local flora ... a Banksia of sorts ...

9. The ensuing mess to clean up ...

Got to do something about those saggy baggy rear springs soon. There was a fair bit of tyre on wheel arch grinding encountered.

Oh wow man.... That's really cool!!!

And the Avenger looks great with the new roof!

If it's an island, how do you get on it? Is there like a bridge or something?

So you think the Avenger has undergone repairs, bits banged on here and there, new roofs and door frames?

You ain't got nothin' on this!

O M D

Hmmm, nice job..You don't happen to have his panel beater's phone number by any chance, do you?

LOL!

Fair bit has happened since ...

When was the last time you filled up Ruski?

Still on the same tank of fuel. Though no working gauge. Fortunately you can hear the fuel slosh back and forth when it is rocked in gear while standing.

... which means there is still some in there somewhere.

hahahhahaah

The Avenger is never short of adventures

Holy hell! That's a well made vid Ruski! I'm mucho impressed!

And the commentary.... 'It's hard to tell really' WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH

hahaha those two are so cute

Geez, that's a gorgeous beach.... *must* go one day

Great vids!!!

Must go more than 5km one of these days. Not sure how it runs recently with the choke fully open.

Choke?

I really should take a video of one of my trips sometime... However, first I need to put a memory card in my camera that will let me shoot more than 6 minutes of film...

hmm.... yeah, and wait till you aren't a P-plater any more.

Both hands on the steering wheel young lady!

Choke?

A device usually (but not necessarily) fitted to the intake of a carburettor, to enrich the fuel-air mixture and facilitate cold starts..  

yep andro ... it's a cable operated butterfly valve atop the carb that cuts the air off hence called choke. Fancy new cars ... ie anything 1978 or later have either automatic chokes that work on the water temp ... and even later models have fancy computer thingos somewhere hidden in all the plastic which alter the mixture on the run to suit the atmospheric conditions etc. My Luddite persona says these are bound to fuck up dramatically at the worst possible moment. If the cable choke cocks it you can always just throttle the bastard to keep it running.

So, how does it run??

First couple of minutes fairly ordinary. When the heat comes in ... purrs like a kitten.

Yay!

Well done Ruski

Oh, I found the Green Avenger a nice friend...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dekrazee1/4751308077

Looks nice. Might have a few after market bolt ons as well ... wheels, winch, rock sliders among those visible. Hard to say from front on but looks like a late 90's job. Too new for me.

Wondering where it is? No plates. Parked on the RHS. Apart from the Jeep behind can't distinguish another vehicle. Is it a seppo?

Yeah

There are plates on the back. They don't seem to enforce the front ones