Okay so on the bus to work today a fairly attractive bloke sits next me and starts up a conversation with me.  He is making me laugh so things are going wonderfully, when we hit a quiet pause...... then he broke wind fairly loudly!  I didn't know what to do, he said nothing and carried on the conversation as normal.  I couldn't help it I just busted out laughing because I couldn't keep it in any longer.  He just looked at me with an odd look and we didn't talk again till he got off.  Yeah Awkward!!!!

I'm sure there is a deep lesson in there somewhere... but dammed if I can figure it out.

I suspect you'll end up having a job interview with him or something down the road.... and he'll remember you instantly!

Man I hope not!

HAHAHAHAHA

That's hilarious!

Don't fart on the bus I suspect is the takeaway here.  Fart on the train like everyone else!

yes the only acceptable place to fart in public is on the train haha!  Probably because it is so loud on the train no one would hear you.  I bet to it is a good deterrent against sketchy  people on the train.

This is part of what passes for science education at Science Museums these days.

Great pic. That's why Marilyn was so talented.

I have lots of awkward moments. All the time.

I've congratulated my friend on being pregnant when she wasn't.

I've started teaching a class at Uni and I was in the wrong room.

I told the big boss at IBM that I thought that it was embarrassing that we didn't use our own software. i.e. lotus notes.

I farted during the minute silence in 6th class.

I wrote too much in Tangler........................................................ ahem...

ROFL

wow just let it all out Mick, you are like a bullseye for awkwardness!

Nooooooo... don't give him license for mayhem.... noooooooooooooooo

I once walked to the back of a full bus of people with my tadger dangling out when i was 14... i had no idea. I was my dodgy tight school uniform. The worst thing about it was i walked all the way to the back and sat down......embarrasing stuff

HAHAHAHA O h dear....

Well, at least you were only 14

i say 'dangling' more like pertruding - lol

again at least you were only 14

hahahah

I got on the subway at NY airport with my back pack on but I forgot that my Masaai walking stick was sticking out of it. The stick hit the roof of the door and I fell back on my arse. There was all these gangster looking guys in big hats and jackets and they all burst out laughing.... after my awkward 1 second.

best place is in the fully loaded lift just before you get out

I used to go out with a girl who told me a story that she got on the school bus and her tights fell down around her knees and that she tried to hold them up by walking pigeon toed but then fell arse over t spilling her school case everywhere - I laughed and I laughed - she didnt want to go out with me after that - strange???

Absolutely.... I can't imagine why she'd say no to you!

Did you ask for a re-enactment?

Well thats probably where I went wrong - now that I recall - she was a real good looker and love was good 40 years ago  aaaahhhhhh

that would have been very awkward for you Kaz, god I have no idea what I would have done..probably cracked up laughing. Yesterday when I was on the train coming home there was a physco guy who wouldn't let anyone flip the seat and everytime someone tried he swore his head off at them and the whole carriage was like dead quiet watching him..then these girls came along and he almost pulled the bar back so far that I thought she was going to pull her shoulder out of place! It was awkward cause no1 knew where to look or what the hell to say...I notice a trend here with public transport been involved!!!

A friend of  mine here was at her house waiting for a friend to come over.  She saw a shadow in the door and thought it was him when she opened the door there was this old drunk guy with his thingy out peeing on her door step!  She freaked out and screamed and he just calmly looked up and realized that she was there and walked away still peeing down the sidewalk.  My friend about fainted from shock or laughter!

thats hilarious! poor girl though I would have freaked out too!

There was one time I played table tennis with a guy i dont know at a gym near my place. I was playing aggressively against him. Suddenly the ball just disappeared when i failed to hit it back to him. I tried to find where it was. There was no bouncing sound on the floor either. Then I look at the guy to see whether he saw where it went. And what i saw was his smile. And he was staring at my crotch!  Yeah, right!. The ball just went into my openned crotch, Gosh, i forgot to close it!!! I was so embarassed. So i had to push the ball (ping-pong ball) out of my pant through the leg because at that time, the ball (ping-pong ball) had already went down almost at my knee. So sad.

hahahahahah

And you didn't know where it was?! Oh dear...

No, until i feel the third ball in my pants for the first time in my life

LOL

thats hilarious

Thanks, Clovar. I take that as a compliment

A good friend of mine told me this story when we were in highschool. There was a night he was at home in his room. He forgot to lock the door when he was masturbating. Suddenly, his grandmother opened the door and caught him in action. He told me the world seem to be paused for a moment. There was no word, no breath, no nothing until his grandma said 'TURN OFF THE TELEVISION', and walked away.

It was so awkward that she couldnt say anything better than that, hahahaha

If you were his grandma, what would you do/say?

haha probably do the same thing, that is what boys do, no need to make a big deal about it. Oh and yeah right it was your "Friend"! Ha

Statistics indicate that 97.2% of men masturbate and 2.8% lie about it.

I remember an awkward moment in school dinners.  I was 13/14 and we were having some banter with the girls.  The lad sat next to me stood up and put his tadger on the table.  The place went quiet (in one of those "awkward moments") until a girl reached over and smacked it good and hard with a serving spoon....

What is tadger? I cant find the meaning in my English->Thai dictionary. Why did the girl spooned it? Is it some kind of food?

And by the way, Kaz22, It was my friend, really.

Coz I dont turn on TV normally.

I think the usual word in British-English is "Todger"

haha I bet that would hurt but he deserved it!

It's Johnson in the US (amongst other names).

I got it. So it's called 'Kra-Jiaw' in Thai, hahahhaha

The urbane term in Australia is "Old Fella". Could be global though. Not sure.

We also call it 'brother' in Thai, because we go everywhere together. But sometime he has to get in some place alone because I cant.

Just only cheer him UP and push him in.

wow you learn something new every day.......feeling a bit awkward......

is this part of your application zryxy?

.

Bricoleur : (yeah, i'm trying so hard)

I thought so.

i'm going out to meet customer now, so ya guys later

bye!

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

All I can think of is David Gray's say hello and wave goodbye.... brilliant song

Okay I don't know why all my awkward moments having peeing in them but here is another one.

This weekend my flatmate and I got up early to do some shopping.  As we are heading to the car park we notice this guy leaning up against his utu/truck (depends what country you are in) with a steady stream of liquid which we soon figured out was urine running off his leg.  We both, out of shock, jumped behind a car so that he didn't see us (and well we didn't any more of him then we wanted).  This action lead to the car 's alarm going off.  Of course this got his attention and we tried gracefully to stand up and continue walking to our car, but he zipped himself up right in front of us and wished us a good day.  I think we laughed the whole car ride to the store.

Well if you engage do you have a engagement ring?  I would just wear that and when I guy is coming on to you then can just flash it in front of him a few times and that will get the message across.  Well I at least I hope it does

Just tell it like it is? "thanks but I'm engaged' etc

Let us know what you did and how it went?

It's never been a problem for me but if it were I would go on and on about my involvement with the Church of Scientology with a few incoherent chants thrown in for good measure. That ought to get 'em running a mile in the opposite direction.

hahahahaha true!!

LOL!!! agreeable

I'll try that next time!!

I heard the funnest pick up line this weekend!   I was sitting with my flatmate having a beer just the two of us when they guy walks up with a shaved head and kind of a funny looking nose.  He says "Do you mind if I join you ladies, I am not as bad as I look".  My flatmate and I were like sure gotta here this his story.  As he turned to go back and grab his beer we see that he has a a big row of stitches on the side of his head.  Turns out that he broke up a fight a couple days ago where this guy was strangling a girl outside a pub and when he got the guy off of her the guy pulled out a screwdriver and tried to stab him in the head!!!  Crazy!  Anyways he stuck around for a while and I guess the line worked because I have a date with him this week!

Not for breakfast, I trust.

hahahaha yeah!

nooo I hope not, he said dinner, goodness the date is tomorrow bit nervous!

How did the date go?

It didn't!!! he never called me!! But that night I went out with my friends to get rid of the stood-up blues and met a fab guy who I am seeing tonight after seeing him a bunch this weekend.  Oh funny awkward story that goes a long with this new guy.  We were out friday night and had a great dinner and decided to go to the local pub to grab a drink.  We are obviously together (i.e his are around me and stuff) when he get up to get me a drink immedatly the guy behind us starts hitting on me.  I was shocked, I gave him an evil look and tried to be as polite as possible.  My date comes back and the guy scrams, we joke about it and continue our date.  A bit later he gets up to get another round and another guy comes up and starts hitting on me!  I tell him that I am with someone but he doesn't stop.  My date come back yet again and the guy scrams.  I try to explain to him that this never happens to me and we joke about again.  A little while later he gets up to use the toilet and yet again another guy hits on me!  I blow him off completely and don't even say hi or anything but he is just hang about trying to talk to me.  My date come back again with a weird look on his face and says "Well I better get you out of here before someone steals you away".  Ha and off we went, so weird and awkward!! Besides that the date went really well!

@Kaz22

Either one of two things are going on here:

1. You are just trying to impress us here in the world of Tangler trying to fool us that you are attractive to all men. Even drunks in pubs.

2. You are showing us blokes that you never get your round in.

I don't get #2?? And why yes I think I am attractive to all men haha  not really  just a weird night

Kaz is a beautiful person.... Only a man in his wrong mind wouldn't hit on her!

"I don't get #2??"

You never went the bar to get the drinks. You never got your round in.

haha glad you got my back Dek!

ohhh round as in drinks okay, hey I bought the first round that night, but it was a first date the boy should always pay:)

*shaking head*

Equal rights = paying for yourself!!

hey it is a free meal and I will take it as a poor student  Plus I bought dinner on the second date, given it was Oporto, but whatever:)

Waaaaay too much commitment there Kaz, You should always go Dutch.

(At least until after the first three dates.)

"but it was a first date the boy should always pay"

Says who. Show me the manual.

I guess I am just an old fashion southern girl that is use to gentelmen

Ha! That's a good way of puttin' it

you make one spelling error.....

@Kaz22: Good.

What ever happened to chivalry (or more generally manners)? For example,  if I get to a door first, I hold it open but am sometimes suprised to get strange looks in return.

It seems strange to me to get the  strange looks ... but what should be done.... rush in so I can let it swing in their face?  No , I think not - I hold it open for men, women, children..... not a question of equality, its a question of politeness when there is absolutely nothing to be gained by either being so or not being so.

I think he asked you.... he pays ... without expectation for anything but an enjoyable evening... after the first one,  then things can sort themselves out (including relative ability to pay etc.)  I don't think that all matters of civility and custom speak against equality at all ... I don't think we have to throw the baby out with the bath water.

Exactly.... which is why I hold doors open for people too

Thanks Bri my thinking exactly!

@ dek: Exactly.

I think he asked you.... he pays ... without expectation for anything but an enjoyable evening...

Absolutely, that's how gentlemen operate.

Personally, I don't think a man is any less gentlemanly if he agrees to split (or even let me pay if I have offered).

What matters to me is how he behaves towards me and others, his general manners, personality etc.

I really don't like letting anyone pay for me, first date, friends, family - doesn't matter. And if they do, then I make sure I get the bill the next time, or do something in kind.

What matters to me is how he behaves towards me and others, his general manners, personality etc.

Bric wrote: he pays ... "without expectation for anything but an enjoyable evening"...

That's it in a nutshell, that's how gentlemen behave! (of course the unexpected may ocur)

Hang on....how did this get on to the common courtesy of holding doors open for people!?

And Gentlemen, it all very well being "Gentlemen" in this day and age until it's not appreciated. Or it's over appreciated, as in expected: "the boy should always pay". And where did Kaz say she was asked by the no doubt pleasant young man? Are we not making an assumption here.

Manners and chivalry are not dead to me, I think rather resent the implication Bric!

@ JR he did ask me on the first date and I let him know how much I appreciated it.  Second date I asked him and I had to fight to pay the bill which just woooed me more.  I guess I just grew up with the expectation that men should be gentlemen and yes I have been out with plenty of boys that would not so much open a door for me let alone pay for my meal.  It really all comes down to manners and at least I have found one with some!

I was just playing with ya.

no worries mate

heh, the XKCDs spread 

yeah, and I'm spreading it further via twitter