Recent Activity

• 

  Kids

  When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically
  that my sons make their beds each morning.
  
  I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted
  to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent
  showed it to prospective buyers.
  
  I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed
  was perfectly made each day. Until that is, one night when
  I went into his room, I discovered his secret...
  
  He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag!

  Posted 15 Jul 08

• 

  Oneliners cont'd

  "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."  
       --Muhammad Ali  
  

  Posted 07 Dec 06

• 

  Bushisms

  They misunderestimated me.
  

  They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.
  
  This is an impressive crowd. The haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base .
  
  That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century. -George W. Bush, reflecting on the Lewinsky scandal.
  
  The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous.

  Posted 08 May 06

• 

  Religious

  hahahahah

  Oh dear....

  Posted 23 Feb 08

• 

  General Jokes

  

  Posted 01 May 08

• 

  racy jokes

  If only it worked! hahaha

  Posted 13 Aug 08

• 

  Old Man Jokes

  :D

  Posted 07 Feb 08

• 

  Things You'll Never Hear In A Western Movie

  "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist.
  IN A DIRTY MUG!"
  
  "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction,
  let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive
  solution."

  "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little
  boys room."
  
  "Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good coffee,
  nice prairie breeze, just you 'n' me... what say we put on
  the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"
  
  "Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of
  fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."
  
  "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to
  get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."
  
  "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my
  therapist!"
  
  "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a
  keen eye for interior decoration."
  
  "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"
  
  "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone,
  women is from Dodge."
  
  "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left...
  .Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"

  Posted 05 Aug 08

• 

  men

  Right on the money!

  Posted 07 Jun 08

• 

  President Jokes

  HAHAHAHAHA

  Posted 08 May 08