Training Courses Now Available for Men

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop

2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Iron

3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding

4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference!

6. Accepting Loss: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away

7. Accepting Loss II: If the Bacon Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator won't Bring It Back

8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!

9. Recycling Skills: Cardboard Boxes, Empty Bottles and Things That Rust

10. Recycling Skills II: Beer Cans Are Not Acceptable Shelving Units

11. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Bowling Shirts to Charity

12. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970's Leisure Suits

13. Appliances: Not Just Gifts For Her

14. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut

15. Expand Your Entertainment Options: How To Enjoy An Evening Without ESPN

16. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote

17. Survival Skills: Target Practice in the Lavatory

18. Survival Skills II: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to run Out of Toilet Paper!

19. Directions and How To Ask For Them

20. Listening: It's Not Just A Half-Time Activity

21. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

........

Right on the money!

Hang on there a minute, those things are an asset in a man, not a drawback...

yeah.......if you're a man.

this is the program that women need to put their men through.

...or you can make it a game

A man walks into a chemist and says to the Pharmacist behind the counter,

'Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once and I need something to keep me up five and potent all night .'

The Pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with the label Viagra Extra Strength and says, 'If you take this, you'll go mental for 12 hours.'

Very happy and excited, the man says, 'Gimme three boxes.'

The next day the man walks into the same chemist, right up to the same Pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The chemist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is swollen, black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, 'Gimme a tube of Deep Heat.'

The Pharmacist replies, 'Deep Heat? You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?'

The man says, 'No, it's for my arms. The girls didn't show up.'

LOL!

Oh dear....

poor guy.

dek that video is hilarious! i have to send it to my friend, whose husband ( and her kids as well) is/are a big w.o.w. player(s).

@Ruski73....that is funny

Pinocchio and Splinters

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"

"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.

"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your

"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"

haha!

bluegirl - hehehe I loved that clip too. Too funny

Come, another training list, to make things fair:

Women's Training Courses:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After
 The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet
 Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem...Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

that's great, dek!

I wish some of the ladies around me would go for some of those!

__________________________________________-

A husband and wife are doing their grocery shopping.

The man picks up a case of beer and sticks in into the
shopping cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"They're on sale, only $10.00 for 24 cans," he says.

"Put them back. We can't afford it," says the wife and they
carry on shopping...

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20.00 jar of face
cream and sticks it into the cart.

"Whoa, what do you think you're doing?" asks the man.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," she says.

The man replies, "So does the beer, and it's HALF THE PRICE!"

hehehe!

Haha that is funny

Ummm.............No............

what? you know better than most, bond......women rule.

Only if you insist, moneypenny....

i'm afraid that i do, bond.

hahahhahaha

I like this take on the story!

Looks like I'm outnumbered then.

well, bond....with the amount of women you get  meet.....you might want to at least pretend to subscribe to this point of view.

Anything you say, moneypenny..

Because I am a Man.....

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. The RACQ is not an
option. I will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix
these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form
of Holy Communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never
get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the supermarket, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And
never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which
"feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. ( F.Y.I. guys cumin is a
spice and not a bodily function).

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss an entire
show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex, cars or sport. I have to make up something
else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any
more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mother too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are
feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name
and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, after all, I will share equally in the housework.
You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the
dishes, and I'll do the rest... like looking for my socks, or wandering
around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

LOL!!

that is awesome!

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