When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically
that my sons make their beds each morning.

I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted
to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent
showed it to prospective buyers.

I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed
was perfectly made each day. Until that is, one night when
I went into his room, I discovered his secret...

He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag!

yep. sounds like a teenager.

My niece's class assignment was to interview a senior citizen
about his or her life, so she asked me, "What was the biggest
historical event that happened during your childhood?"

"I'd have to say the moonwalk," I replied.

She looked disappointed. "That dance was so important to you?"

lol!

Was she interviewing Michael Jackson?

LOL!

Is he a senior citizen already?

I don't think he would qualify, but a small child might have a different perspective on it!

oh god!

you are really bad, bond.

(especially after all that trouble over in the "art" thread)

Here are some Aussie jokes for kids. (they really are for kids)

"What do you call a boomerang that won't come back.

A stick"

WAHAHAHHA

  Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday
dinner at his Grandmother's house.  Everyone was
seated around the table as the food was being served.
  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating
right away. 

  'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.'
said his mother.
  'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
  'Of course, you do,' his mother insisted.
  'We always say a prayer before eating at our
house.'
  'That's at our house,' Johnny explained.
  'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to
cook!

I like it....

LOL!!

Makes perfect sense too!

I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I
bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot
of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could
actually get inside and ride. Instead, after hours of
assembly on my part, he ended up played in the box it came
in.

It taught me a valuable lesson. Next year he got a box, and
I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.

good idea......thanks, dek.

That brings back memories.....

you actually remember after drinking all that scotch?

Yesh, I ceredantly doooo! 

At my place, it was a race between the kids and the cat, who got into any large boxes first..

i know what you mean.......

i'm off to sleep.....much later than i should be.......good night, bond.

Night, moneypenny....

A woman is in a grocery store and happens upon a grandpa and his poorly behaving 3 year-old grandson at every turn. It's obvious gramps has his hands full with the kid screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda.

Meanwhile gramps is working his way around saying in a controlled voice, 'easy Albert, we won't be long, easy boy'.

Another outburst and she hears gramps calmly say, 'it's OK Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be outta here, hang in there.

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items from the cart and gramps again in a controlled voice is saying, 'Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset -- we'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert'.

Very impressed the woman goes up to gramps as he's loading the kid and the groceries into the car and says, 'You know sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. The whole time you kept your composure and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things like 'it would be OK'.  Albert is very lucky to have you for his grandpa'.

'Thanks, lady,' said gramps, 'but I'm Albert, this little bastard's name is Johnny'.

 

hehehehe

*Looks at the parents in here* Had a similar experience?

Hahahaha, I have a grand son who is very good at throwing hints around when you are shopping..

because i waited so long to have a kid........i'm beyond being embarrassed........the public tantrums are pretty funny to me......

i love walking out of a store because she is misbehaving and having my child stop at the door and scream at me...."no, mommy! that is not the plan!"

the joys of motherhood......

Hahahaha,,,,,,,

hahahaha So cute! 'That is not the plan!'

I'm gonna use it!

oh i hear that a lot.....

heheheh oops...

from my daughter.....

reminds me of this advert.

LOL! I'd never seen that one before!

And yours reminded me of this classic

both hilarious....

i've used the taactic in the romeo's clip.

throwing a tantrum never fails to amuse the kid.

that i would like to see...

We have "confectionary free checkouts" here, the kind where there is no chocolates or lollies at the register.

Oh, i mean, we still have those lanes, but ones without the candy are actually marked that way, to help out parents i guess.

The other day my little one asked if I could squash the cockatoo in the bathroom.

HAHAHAHA

What??

What I encountered was a cockroach.

ROFL!!

oh thats cute!!

cute...

that reminds me of the time last summer when baby blue asked if she could wear a zucchini.....

i finally figured out she meant bikini

aawwhh!!!!!

hehehehehe Cute too!