this is a little risque....

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Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"

The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

If only it worked! hahaha

lmao, dek......

that's probably a good idea......i certainly don't need the encouragement...

hahahaha

seriously..... (this is my favorite tangler smiley......it most perfectly matches the feeling i intend it to stand for)

So did little Johnny get his bike then??

Ha ha .......Did the mother keep wishing

i'm not sure how many wishes came true.......but i'm pretty sure that everyone was happy....

hehehehe

One day during religious education at St Finnbars Primary School, Father O'Leary was asking the year three class ...

"What part of your body do you think gets to heaven first?"

Littly Mary in the third back row immediately raised her hand and said " Father O'Leary I think your eyes get there first."

"Oh and why is that young Mary?" asked Father O.

"Because when you get to heaven you need to see all the wonderful things first ... like Angels and Harps and flowers", was Mary's theory.

Young Billy up the front raised his hand next ... "Father I think it is your arms that get to heaven first ... and I think that is so you can give people a hug when you arrive because everyone is happy in heaven and so you have to do lots of hugs."

"Fabulous Billy", replied Father O'Leary.

The next idea came from little Johnny. "Father O'Leary I know for a fact that it is your legs that go to heaven first."

"Is that so little Johnny" said Father O'Leary. "And what is it that makes you so sure?"

"Well the other night I went into Mum and Dads room and Mum was on the bed with her legs straight up in the air and she was yelling "Oh God take me now ... ".

If Dad didn't have her pinned down I reckon she'd have got away from us for sure.

LOL!

That's a lot of analysis on little Johnny's part...

Tuesday ... and it was Little Johnny's turn for show and tell.

"What are you going to show or tell us today little Johnny", asked Miss Jones.

"Well this morning Miss Jones ... I was walking to school and on the way past the paddock I saw the big black bull fuck the old brown cow."

"Heavens Johnny No!", cried Miss Jones. "You have to say ... you saw the big black bull 'surprise' the old brown cow."

Time went on and it was Johnny's turn again ...

"Yesterday afternoon Miss Jones ... down at the big paddock ... I saw the big black bull fuck the old brown cow."

"Johnny! You are supposed to say the big black bull 'surprised' the old brown cow. I don't want to have to ask you this again!" ordered Miss Jones.

A few weeks later and Johnny was up again and Miss Jones was decidedly nervous and probably with good reason.

"OK little Johnny, what are you going to show or tell us today", she asked.

"Well Miss Jones. I was on the way to school again and I walked past the big paddock. And that was where I saw the big black bull surprise the old brown cow", told Johnny.

"That's right Johnny ... surprised!", Miss Jones was over the moon. All her hard work was finally starting to rub off. Or so she thought...

"Did he what Miss Jones ... " Johnny continued ... "He went and fucked the other big black bull."

lmao!

Johnnys school were putting on the annual play.  The teacher now had to choose the players.  Every time she asked fo a volunteer for a part little Johnny was first to stick his hand up.  Every time the teacher had to think hard about how Johnny might be a huge embarassment with his gesturing and profanity and subsequently turned him down each time.  Eventually each part had been filled and little Johnny was totally distraught but it didn't stop him persisting.  "What about the interval Miss?", he enquired, "I could do something really funny to keep the audience alert!".  "Like what?" said the teacher with just a little trpidation in her voice.  "Well I am really good at making the noises that are heard on a farmyard" says Johnny.  The teacher thinks this one through and comes to the conclusion that an interval session of Johnny doing his Farmyard Noises would be OK.  The reasoning being that even if he does make one of those disgusting burps or farts, that's exactly the sort of thing that you'd expect to hear on a farmyard.  So she agree's.  Johnny is over the moon!!!

Anyway, along comes the day of the play with all the kids on stage and the proud parents in the audience.  The first half goes off well and it is now the interval.  The teacher goes on the stage and announces.  "To keep you entertained during the interval, Johnny Briggs has kindly volunteered to come on stage and give you a rendition of the kind of noises you'd expect to hear on a farmyard".  The audience clapped and cheered Johnny onto the stage.  He walked into the centre, cleared his throat (like his dad does - and he smokes 50 a day) then said. "For my first farmyard noise"....pause, teacher and audience on bated breath.... "Hoi you!, get off that fucking tractor!"

HAHAHAHA

funny!

titties

Nice, but could do with tweaking.

What sort of tweaking...?

[[{|]] [[|}]]tweaking

ow

LOL

What does that say? The writing is too small to read...

I thought you might tell me...it's all a blur...

hmmm... you both might need to see a doc

What writing...?

^^ Beyond help

Looks fine to me

It's just a question of time, young man...I'm sure everything will drop into place eventually...

No worries.....it is good to be young with good vision and read it even after the blur comes in......hahaha.  ..

LOL

Terrible...