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best defence...
"Hello"
"hello It's Jane Smith from XYZ company, is Mr Mitch there Please.."
" just one momnet please, I'll get him"
then put the phone down and go back to what you were doing...
HAHAHAHAHAH
I always say the person is out of the country indefinately....
even if they're asking for me
I say "HELLO,HELLO, can you speak up, I can't hear you, HELLO, I cant hear you, HELLO, HELLO, HELLO". (They usually hang up after about 15 seconds)
I have also used the system resommended by Mitch. :D
Hey!! I do that too!!!
BT abuse call;
* language warning on that *
Actually, check this one out. This is awesome.
The guy pretends that the person they called was murdered; It's hillarious;
http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/
LOL yeah I've heard that one.. it's cool.
ROFL!!! That's Brilliant!
hehehe
I like how the marketer keeps trying to sell amid all that.... sheesh
That was great, I got a good laugh out of it. (made my day).
I can't wait to try the murder one on the next caller
just to focus on the other side: i had worked in a telemarketing firm before...and i swear i cried my eyes out after 8 days of work. all the abuse and ppl hanging up you....i really dunno why ppl still work in this line...
Poor Swinger, I hope you didn't get the "HELLO, cant hear you" routine from me.
andro....i got worse....i got non-english speakers...and some abuse even when i used my sweetest little girl voice...and i also got "i'm busy watching big brother"
I know why ppl work in it.... good money
I considered doing it too..... but I didn't wanna hate myself as much as I hate them
Next time you get one that is obviously from off-shore....
ask the person's name....
I had one last night who said her name was (in a think indian accent)
"Jenny Anniston"
I laughed and hung up...
I prolly should have said Oh I'm sorry this is Ghandi .... you have the wrong number...
HAHAHAHAHA
That would have been a brilliant comeback
My only beef with the offshore call centres is that they recognise my name as an Indian one, and they think I should give them the time of the day because we have something in 'common'.
bleh
Which also means that they are more rude to me when I'm uninterested in what they're selling
grrrrrrrrr
I have no problem with accents, or offshore or anything... but the name was a classic...
I always find it funny the english name people pick for themselves...
names like Herman, or Humphrey... hee hee...
hahhaha
yeah, I got what you meant
ya!!! You know how they go about picking names for themselves - they have a dictionary of names!!! And its a dictionary of names put together by another indian genius!!! Goes something along the lines of picking names that the average Indian can pronounce without any accent or minimal accent. So they end up picking all the common names or overtly exposed names - aka celebrities.
Honestly, I can't understand why they try so hard with the names and accents....
Everyone knows who they are anyways....
I am crying with laughter after that telemarketing clip. That's fantastic!
The name of the customer service agent on the other end of the phone is a good point.. I find it crazy that when you call a service centre and are put through to someone in India, they will introduce themselves as Bob or Sandra but when you are routed to a service centre located in the UK and the person is of Indian or Pakistani origin they give their natural name, which in most cases, is totally unpronouncable and impossible to spell unless you are fluent in the language of the area that their family originates from.
And because most of the time you are phoning to get something sorted out it's good to write down the name of the person you are speaking to and then most of the call is then spent trying to get their name pronounced and spelt properly...
Gawd....
You sound like some of the people who've had issues with my name - pronouncing and spelling it...
--> it's THREE letters long
*knows a guy with a 3-letter last name of Sng* pronounce that ->Sng
sing
??
No issues with your name Dek (Rai). What you have to do is imagine a young bloke or girl who's family is Middle-East/Eastern extraction. They spend their time with their family (because of the elders) speaking their heritage language, along with their natural accent etc... When they socialise and go to work they speak English and end up with a combined regional/heritage accent - But only when they speak English!.
When they speak English to you, they end up saying their name in the combined accent - and their name sounds really weird and in reality, it isn't. It's their combo accent plus the distortion of the telephone and I'm sorry but it is really off-putting when you are needing to establish the name of someone you are speaking to. I've even had people tell me I'm disrespectful because I can't catch what they are saying because of the combo accent. I have to say that this, for me, is not just a call-centre problem, it's in shops, bars and so on. Having said that, I have no problem understanding their parents and elder friends/family and I reckon that's simply because they tend to retain their natural accent when they speak English.
Ahhh... yes, I think I get what you mean Mr Dent
btw, on my flight back, there was a guy in the seat next to me, and I found him very irritating. He was very figgety and kept falling asleep on my shoulder and... well, he was not fun to sit next to....
Turns out, he works at a call center.
Can't escape em eh?
If you have a phone account with telstra, you have the ability to put them out of action for a few hours.
Basically, it works on an open-line technology. If you don't hang up, it leaves an open line, so no matter how many times they try to hang up, they can't because when they pick up the phone again, they're still connected to your call.
Next time a telemarketer calls you, just put the phone aside and walk away for a few hours.
Oh, really?? That's all I need to do?
Wheeeeeee!
Beware of this one. If you call someone from you home 'phone and it's a traditional analogue phone and they have a traditional analogue 'phone, the call won't finish until you hang up. However if the call originates in a call centre it's quite likely that they have digital lines to connect to the telephone network and when they hang up the line always clears down. Therefore they can continue to make calls. And your 'phone is simple "off hook". Therefore no-one can call you and probably, you'll end up with a recorded message telling you the "other party has cleared" and then it sometimes changes (after 10 mins or so) into a high pitched tone.
Bummer... plan fail
Back to asking em questions till they hang up then
I like to pretend I work for a competitor of theirs and compare rates, then try to talk them around to buying my deal instead
HAHAHAHA
That's a good one!
Another tactic is to just say "yes" (and nothing more, less or other than "yes") in response to whatever they ask, and see how long it takes them to realise it's a windup.
They always mispronounce my last name, so I just tell them that no one with that name lives here, and hang up.
I do a variation of what DJ does... sometimes they call looking for a Mr or Mrs Rai. Right name, wrong title, tata!
Yeah I do the same - I always get a Mr.. what about me says I'm a guy?! And I know that when they call you off a list with just your surname and initial, they generally have to guess - but wouldn't the smarter option be to ask for the preference of the same gender as the person who answered the phone?
Eggactly...
I usually put the three year old on for a chat. He likes to give blow by blow descriptions of the fight he had with his older brother and or the neighbours kid earlier that afternoon.
HAHAHAHAHA
Do they hear him out hoping you'll come back on the phone?
No they usually hang up on him. Doesn't stop him though.
*chuckle*
that's awesome.
hehe... i think i'd stick in a 'did you open it first when you tried to use it' question..
hahaha!
lefthandedtoons.com: I got suckered into going there because the name lead me to believe that it was drawn by a leftie(like myself) , but it was a lie
Well..... it is drawn with left hands.... just that they're right handed
Used to work in call centres for about 6 years. First job was sending out raffle ticket books to people to get them to sell them for charity. I hated the job there and lasted only about 3 months. My usual script would be: "Hello Mr Jones, this is PuppyOnThe calling from Kids on the Streets foundation. I'm just calling to ask if you would like to help out kids from underprivileged backgrounds." (note I'd never use my last name - I'm not stupid) It was a nasty question because first it wasn't a question, but it forced a response, and if people said "no" then you could say "You don't want to help underprivileged kids?"
Finance companies are the best. If they're selling a product and not just getting you to go to a seminar, they must read out all the terms and conditions of the product upon request. A friend of mine once asked a girl "I'm really interested and would like to know all the terms and conditions, but I'm in the middle of cooking dinner. I'm just going to put you on speakerphone while you're reading them." Apparently she was still reading them out ten minutes later to an empty room.
hahhahaah
That's a classic
" I'm just calling to ask if you would like to help out kids from underprivileged backgrounds."
I always give the response "I'd love to but my other charity work would suffer if I was to take it on"...
I think I've spoken to you before... "Oh, I'm not asking you for any money or any extra time. All that I need from you is for you to let your friends and family know that you'll help support this worthy cause by allowing them to buy raffle tickets."
I'd hit pay dirt about 1 in 8, which was actually a high take-up. The thing that stuffed me up is that I'd sart to chat to people and spend too much time with one customer. (In case you can't tell, I talk too much.)
... the call always finishes at that point when it gets hung-up with a "thank you for calling, goodby"
To be honest I don't get many cold calls these days, we have a thing called "The telephone preference scheme" in the UK, once registered, no organisation is allowed to put your number in their calling lists. The ones I do get generally originate from overseas numbers. They never get answered on the basis that I've convinced every member of my household that any numbers we don't recognise or witheld numbers are left to go to voice-mail. Anyone who needs to speak to us will leave a message.
We have similar over here, and I believe that they have similar in most countries now. We had an amendment to the privacy act in 2000 and another significant one in 2004. In Australia technically anyone calling you from a telemarketer is legally obliged to tell you at the outset of the call that you can opt out of receiving any more calls from them in the future. Howe many people have been asked that question?
And carried over from baggy green... you bastard!
If people said "no" then you could say "You don't want to help underprivileged kids?"
I would still respond with "no"...
I don't even bother to say no, I just hang up.
Or try the I don't live here line.
Meanwhile, remind me to tell you abt the guy who asked me point blank for $175 as donation in SF.
Too tired to write now
$175 donation. Man that takes balls.
While I think of it, I sent that merchandise that you asked for to your house. It has come to about $225, but between friends I'm happy to drop the price by $50. Have you got your credit card standing by?
The strategy there might be something along the lines of "Can we have $175? ... Well what about $10?"
Dear Lord - I could take that word for word and stick it in uncyclopedia and no-one would even notice!
HAHAHAHAHA
Yeah, well, it was the first time I had ever encountered something like that.
Met another guy yesterday asking for the same thing. Least he was in a 'rich' area. But wasn't getting that many hits either. Poor guy
And PupRad, I'll pay up when I get and like the stuff
...and if I'm in a different mood I'll just string them along with any old bullshit and then hang up when they think they've hooked me..
*This isn't a word-for-word transcript, just the overall gist*
I remember I had one caller some years ago and I still find it mildly amusing. Just before I replied I stuck a piece of toffee in my mouth and said "sorry, you've just caught me in the middle of a meal" to which he replied, "no problem, I'll call back when you've finished eating", to which I replied, "how will you know when I've finished eating", to which he replied "can you tell me how long you will be before you finish eating", to which I replied "no idea, you are the one who doesn't seem to have a problem working it out", to which he replied, "shall we say in 20 minutes then", to which I replied, "we might have finished eating then but my guests may still be here", with a resigned voice he said, "I'll call back tomorrow then", "we are away tomorrow" I replied. "What about Thursday then", to which I replied, "which Thursday", "er the day after tomorrow", "Nope we will still be away". "When will you be returning", "in about 3 weeks time". He then said "but our campaign will be over by Friday, are you sure you can't spare the time now sir". "Sorry, I'm eating". At this point I hung up thinking to myself that we had probably spent all the time, allocated for him to have made a sale, talking nonsense.
You could always try saying "oh yeah, sure, but could you hang on for just a sec" then leaving the phone on hold while you go make a sandwich. If they're still on the line when you get back then pretend like you've just picked up and have no recollection of answering the phone earlier.
HAHAHAHAHA Mr Dent!! Priceless!
Oooh SK, I'm gonna do that next time!
Would beat me getting them to admit it's an unsolicited call
Although, that's usually pretty fun
Hi dek - sorry, if you look at the copy of the transcript that was sent through with the goods, you'll notice that there are no guarantees on the quality of the merchandise, the suitability for yourself, your satisfaction, the arrival of said goods, or even the existence of said goods, and you should consider yourself lucky for having been able to deal with such a reputable company like ourselves anyway.
Maybe I should work for Microfloppy?
ROFL!!!
Maybe you should!!
Geez.... what I title. Thought it was spam at first glance, and almost went to delete it!!
Could have reduced it - but it has more effect this way.
hahahaha Certainly does mate.
