Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

It was settled where it was?

There was no road?

The grass was greener on this side?

All wrong..

Because it was dead?

Because it refused to live up to the stereotype?

Because it had a cucumber?

WAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

And batteries?

Oh dear. Sorry

It could have been worse - I could have said kumquat...

LOL!!

Terrible

I know - they're so small and tart...

LOL!!! no, no , no, no, no, no... a few questions might help you out... this isn't a 'simple answer' riddle.

Okay... Was there any reason why the chicken would want to cross the road?

Was it a road or a highway?

Were there traffic lights?

Was dek driving?

Was it looking to eat the apple remains that George Washinton left lying in a field?

LOL!

I love how we manage to tie everything neatly together

Was it importing drugs to the other side of the road?

Was it considering the value of 0/0 in a nonary system?

Did it have a heavy suitcase with no wheels?

My dearest lady, I do believe that this may have something to do along the way with the state of the chicken rather than any thing relating to the motivation.  Was there something about the chicken physically that made it nigh impossible for it to have any ambulatory momentum?

Did she find out that Colonel Sanders was dead?

Was there any reason why the chicken would want to cross the road? - not really

grr stupid tangler formatting

Did she find out that Colonel Sanders was dead? - nothing to do with KFC

Was the poor chicken, an otherwise normal member of it's species, and in and of itself a fine upstanding member of the chicken community, missing any limbs?  Was the poor chicken a deceased chicken?  Was it an ex-bird?

Was the poor chicken, an otherwise normal member of it's species, and in and of itself a fine upstanding member of the chicken community, missing any limbs?  Was the poor chicken a deceased chicken?  Was it an ex-bird? - No to all... the chicken was alive, and whole.

Are we talking about a bird, or a person too cowardly to cross the road?

LOL! I love it, even if it's not the answer, it should be.

Is there another chicken, or another animal, or a person involved?

Are we talking about a bird, or a person too cowardly to cross the road? - in theory, it could be anything, but for the sake of this riddle, its an actual bird

Is there another chicken, or another animal, or a person involved? - No.

Are there any cars on the road?

Is there a zebra crossing?

Is there a traffic light which is showing a red man?

Is there a rail road crossing which is closed for a train coming through?

Are there any cars on the road? - there might be but it doesnt matter

Is it all in the chicken's mind?

My dear sweet Morgan, I do believe that what you are trying to hide from us is that there was a physical barrier between the chicken and the road that stopped it walking on there.  Something like a fence or a wall maybe?

I do hope it's not a wall.  The last chicken and wall related event I can recall was that nasty business with Humpty Dumpty, and that is an event that we would all like to put behind us. 

Is it all in the chicken's mind? No, it's real

Although I am attracted to the concept of the metaphysical road.  Similar to the thoughts of how many roads must a man walk down until he can find his Dek.

Does the location of the road matter?

Does the location of the road matter? What do you mean exactly?

Most men will never find their Dek.... which is why the chicken is sitting on the side of the road sulking

Most men will never find their Dek.... For some reason, I read that as having a dirty meaning. In which case your username would take on a whole new meaning 

Oh dear... let's just step away from it shall we?

Just kidding, Dek. 

Does the location of the road matter? What do you mean exactly? 

Are you referring to a particular road, somewhere in this world (or some fictional world, I suppose)?

Are you referring to a particular road, somewhere in this world (or some fictional world, I suppose)? No, it could be any road

Was it this road, because  wouldn't want to cross it either?

Hang on - I think I see a fence...

Because chicken was on the other (correct) side of the road....hahahahaha

If that is the answer, I shall hunt Morgan down and chicken her to death

No.. all incorrect so far...

Okay, so to clarify, there was this chicken, right!  All right, for the sake of the narrative, we'll call her "Amanda Hugankiss."  So Amanda is at the side of this road.  Not any special road or any road in particular, could have been the road you live on.  In fact we'll say that it was the road you live on.  Have a look out the window now... do you see her?  No, well she must be a few doors down...

Anyway, Amanda was at the side of this road and she had motivation to get to the other side.  We don't know why.  Maybe there was more seed over the other side of the road - yeah, that will do it.  Now she wanted to cross the road, but she couldn't.  She was alive and whole, but for some reason she lacked momentum.  There were no barriers in the way, and there were no traffic lights or anything in her way.

Now I don't know about you kiddies, but I'm feeling really sorry for poor Amanda right now.  Maybe she's asleep?  Maybe she's in a coma?  We don't know yet, but I'm sure as we go along we'll find out more of the story.  Of course what you can do is run out to the street right now and call out for Amanda.  Go on - everyone run to your doors and yell out as loudly as you can "I need Amanda Hugankiss!"

HAHAHAHA you're hillarious!!

Was she asleep or in a coma?

Was she asleep or in a coma? - nope, perfectly alive and awake... and there are some slight flaws with your analogy, your assumptions are not entirely correct..

was the chicken a sentiant being of any sort?

I know which assumption wasn't correct... I've been calling out from my front yard for ages and she still hasn't come round, although the nice guy next door keeps looking at me...

Hmm... note to self: make next riddle about someone riding around their block naked on a bicycle.

Isn't that what the last one was about?

Have you been OD'ing on Viagra again?

Again... don't you mean still... (down boy, down)

Just breathe slowly and think of Hillary

LOL! Terrible...

She has a nice smile...

That's not helping...

ROFL!! You're eveeel Bard

AAAAHAHHGHGHHGH!!!

I win?

Good dog SK! There's some thing you can't "un-see"

In that case you do not want to go here

Several pages of photoshopped images of famous people, all with their eyes replaced with mouths.

O M D

*takes Bard's eveeel title and puts it on SK's crown*

Not all of them are as horrifying as Hillary though.

*clicks on the link*

Good gosh.... which genius thought that up? That's just.... ewwwww

was the chicken a sentiant being of any sort? Nope, just a regular chicken. Like I said it could be anything, chicken, cow, elephant, person, etc, but for the purpose of this riddle, its a chicken.

And who put Hillary in my riddle?!?! I saw 21 posts and came in here expecting 21 questions!!  With her in here, you'll never come back!

hahahahah

dek be here

She didn't cross the road because she was already on the other side.

I am posting this message because this topic keeps opening on the scary picture

Nawww!!!!!!

Gawd! There are mouths everywhere!!

O kay....

I'm still trying to work out how that that image got there... sigh
(For those that missed it I've removed it for self-censorship reasons, but you can always find it again at my stuff on uncyclopedia)

what was this thread about again?

The chicken mate, the poor irritating stranded chicken

Yeah what about the chicken lol!!

Because it had a hangover?

LOL

Is the chicken actually standing on one side of the road?

If so, and I were present at this event to observe it, would it be obvious to me why the chicken isn't crossing the road?

chicken did not cross road because there was no road, there was ocean or bridge or something else.....hahahahahahah

Was the chicken in any sort of underwater breathing apparatus?

Was the road a Moebius strip, so crossing it would be futile?

Did the chicken suffer from any major respiratory issues?

It would if it was cooked in a smoker.

Was the chicken posing for Google Street view?

Is the chicken in a photo and can't cross the road because it's a still 2D image?

Was the chicken in the middle of the road?

Was it a very large chicken, straddling the road?  Or a very small road?

Did the road have two sides?

Did you know that LOL stands for "Lots of LOLs", which in turn stands for "Lots of LOLs" which in turn...

LOL

*waits for PupRad's brain to explode*

road was too narrow and chicken already had 1 leg on either side of road making crossing of the road meaningless

ROFL!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Good thing there wasn't a mention of another chicken in the riddle

He was already on the other side?

Singing "and I remain on the far side of crazy..."

Was the chicken posing for Google Street view? - no

Is the chicken in a photo and can't cross the road because it's a still 2D image? - no

Was the chicken in the middle of the road? - yes

Was it a very large chicken, straddling the road?  Or a very small road? - no and no

Did the road have two sides? - yes

He was already on the other side? - no

Was it standing on a traffic island?

Did it think it was directing traffic?

Is she busy laying eggs?

Was it standing on a traffic island? no

Did it think it was directing traffic? no

Is she busy laying eggs? no

Is there some sort of barricade in the middle of the road?

Is the chicken in a vehicle?

Was it because "They blew up the chicken man in Phillie last night"?

Was it just a bucket of KFC or something, so it was there cos it actually couldn't cross?

Is there some sort of barricade in the middle of the road? no

Is the chicken in a vehicle? no

Was it because "They blew up the chicken man in Phillie last night"? no

Was it just a bucket of KFC or something, so it was there cos it actually couldn't cross? no

Do you think it's hint time yet?

Is the chicken in motion?

If so, is it in motion under its own power?

Does the climate play any part in this?

HINT!!

chicken was in middle of road and can never cross road completely, only cross half road from where it was....duh did'nt someone say thsi already?

road was circular and chicken can never cross road...it can only go round and round.........:)

The chicken had no legs, and couldn't fly

Could the chicken cross the road if it wanted to?

Did it get the middle of the road under its own power?

Was it in a cage in the back of a pickup on the way to a market and fell off when it went over a bump?

Is rain involved?  Wind? Is the road iced over?

no to all

Is there too much fog to see to the other side?

Is the road too hot from the sun to walk on?

Is there a natural disaster in progress?

Too much snow?

HINT!!!

there is an earthquake and road is split apart into three parts and chicken in middle part of road , could not cross road otherwise it would fall into valley down to the center of earth

HINT: This was in the news about a month ago, although the article may not have been about a chicken.
         Lets say also, that the 'chicken' was british.

Was there a predator on the other side?

Was there a predator on the other side? no

Did the road melt, and the chicken got stuck?

OR... did water on the road freeze, thus capturing the chicken!

trlovens has it!  (finally)

Comes from this story http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/8080462.stm

Whoa!

He said: "I was in a bit of shock. You don't expect to be walking down a road and disappear down a hole."

Classic quote!

Cool.  So that's where blackened chicken comes from.

HAHAHAHAHA