InsaneGuyGareth
Tangle Games
Recent Activity
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Do you think he's hiding marijuana in "Word association episode IIII"?
Posted 08 Jan 08
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The story so far:
She was about to call her husband a useless motherf****r, but suddenly she realized that he already knew. "damn." Wouldn't it be just great if he could drop his immature attitude so that others wouldn't have to deal with it? Like minded women understand what anything similar would mean. She, Rachel, wasn't about to start from the beginning. If only the phone exploded, then they could not have to give her a second call. When Rachel saw the remains of the phone spread about, she realized this was a way she could destroy everything and yet still survive.
When two years vanished, Rachel emerged from the pits of her unknown hell. Thank the postman they arrived intact. She opened the partially invisible table. Her magic act complete with cape, wand and tophat. It was the first time she ever threw up her arms and openly welcomed the beings who had given her the strength to do all those things she thought she could never do.
When she was availed about the arrival of the devil and his only son Derek, she bombed the place where they had stayed for 250 years, while learning how to merge human DNA with common weeds. Derek, however, was very shy and hid in a treehouse. When he thought everything was cool he busted the husband with exploded telephone remains and a random shard of plastic penetrated his inner child, which then screamed out "why am I stupid!?!?!?" Derek answered him: "You are me."
When the devil found out Derek had hidden from his fate, the only thing left was to go back to the tavern and find the missing piece of his pitchfork. While he was probing the scattered ashes, he was startled to find a golden peacock feather with bright pink spots and a mirror, lying there unblemished. As he picked up the mirror and looked into it, a bright pink feather appeared from his nose and made him sneeze. After he had covered up the remnants of his sneeze, he plucked the feather out of the ashes and used what remained of his pride to light a cigar.
Later that day, a golden peacock with bright pink spots asked him this: " If I were holding a very hot cup of kopi luwak, would you care to guess how much i can drink without exploding?" Then, he exploded. "Why does no-one ever think to ask?". "Ask what?" replied Derek, who then produced a banana from his pocket. And it exploded. "Ask why there is no cream for my kopi loki in the exploded banana remains". "Did you look?", "No, the explosion totally distracted me." Derek brushed off the banana remains.
At that moment, some of the spots of the banana debris that was choking the devil's son, derek, corrupted the universe!
People everywhere were wondering, what ever happened to my long lost buddy? The last time we were together, I accidentally spilled the wine, took an unexpected nap, and when I tried to apologize, he looked at me and said, "fee, fi, fo, fum, spilling wine instead of rum, then a nap to make you sober, sorry but it's still october." Then he walked out the window. Dropping 13 stories, he suddenly stopped, smashed a window, smoked a cigarette, read a book, clipped his toenails, plucked a chicken, made a sandwich, called his mother, pierced his nose, brushed his teeth, shaved his back, painted a picture, combed his hair, made another sandwich, ordered a pizza, flossed this teeth, blew his nose. He looked around, closed his eyes, and took a harmonica out and played the blues. Birds flying past stopped to listen. They were deafened by the sound of people applauding. When he bowed, his toupee fell and blew away. He turned red, smoked a cigarette, applied his make-up, made a sandwich, performed a ballet, wrote an opera, sang Elton's "Daniel", finished his thesis, split an atom, ran for president, travelled through time, changed the past, prevented the spill, waved a flag, learned Mandarin Chinese, discovered a cure for common colds, danced a jig, rebuilt a transmission, painted a masterpiece, psychoanalyzed his psychiatrist, started a forum, built a pyramid, dug to china, removed his spleen, drank a cappuccino, circled the wagons, saluted the flag, dyed Easter eggs, hid Easter eggs, found Easter eggs, ate chocolate bunny, argued with bigots, cursed the bigots, went on Atkins, went off atkins, then finally he fell on the couch and cried.
when he finally cried himself out, he no longer had any new stuff to accomplish. He then decided that he enjoyed going for walks. so he went jay-walking in the Bush around the river. Then the rain came. He discovered that he had forgotten to wear his left wellington boot. He still wore his presidental clothing. Resplendent with blue polka dots and several custard stains. Suddenly Rachael and a funny little gnome jumped out and yelled at him, "Go and get that unusual blue, star shaped, yellow polka dotted flag of yours". A gnome that, in all likelihood, had never even worn a red and gold sparkly bathing suit and a top hat, suddenly found himself groping inside Rachaels horribly oversized purse for a lolly. Aaargh! no lolly. Fortunately there was an old half-eaten, but slightly mouldy Derek hiding there.
The gnome proceeded with his search in a logical but frenzied manner utilizing a previously unknown dialect of Orcish. He told anyone who'd listen that Derek was, or should be unknown to the malicious but loveable lolly vendor. However, due to a mysterious electrical fault that resulted in all the diodes growing fur, he became strangely silent apart from a quick burp which was amplified by a mega wave thingy of unknown origin. The silence ended as abruptly as the gnome exploded into little bits of cinnamon flavored bits of gnome.
All of the pieces covering Rachael reeked of cinnamon, but tasted of sweet custard apples. Derek finally spoke, announcing his surprise at the taste, and began to pick pieces off Rachael for his supper later in the day. It was lucky that no-one had noticed he'd brought a very small piece of honeyed bread to enjoy with the gnome bits. Resuming his journey, he walked until the sun set and the birds finally gave up following him, since their feathers were becoming soggy with volcanic spring water, which was prominent in these areas due to volcanoes constantly erupting. Derek marvelled at the size of his marvellous imagination, which many observers said was surpassed only by his ego. Having said that, his ego was slightly more massive than the combined mass of several elephants' tusks. Derek went where no woman had gone- the land of soggy snow peas.
This vast land, contrary to belief, was actually very nice to walk around in autumn, when the skies are just the perfect shade of purplish pink with milky white streaks, and the sun vaporized everything in the barrel of Persephone's USB drives. Just as well, as the large hadron collider was encountering an unexpected bout of declining flux. Whatever, the cause wasn't important enough to worry about the impending dark ridge it conveyed during Rocky and Apollo's immense collection of marital status legal papers and Nero's best suit. Derek walked on cottage cheese towards the great looming Hall of the great and supercilious wicket makers, who have never thought of using wickets in an attempt to create a black hole.
It was during a meteor shower that they came to the realization that there was no escape from the evil spider-monkeys. However, with only a fistful of socks, and three nipples each, they climbed up over the bonk mobile while simultaneously keeping their hands on their three nipples, all of which were extremely hard. Hard enough, maybe, to destroy the spider-monkeys machines, which were slowly building up some turbo popcorn popping. Suddenly one monkey jumped onto the roof of the nearest service station and started dancing a slow but intense belly dance. Erotically she took a look at the pine trees and discovered something was amiss. Strangely enough though, there was Derek, sitting on the porch having a wank. Wasn't he supposed to have given up wanking on rampant lesbians between their breasts?! What they didn't know told another story, the lesbians were making love in front of him and he couldn't resist a few moments to watch how the Little Lesbian Lolitas would manage to insert the correct change into the little money boxes that are handed around at pre-school.Posted 23 Aug 09
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Murder in the house.... Mk III
Last murderer was dek, so...
I kidnap dek and pay the Russians to launch both of us into space. I then fly to just the right distance from a black hole not to be pulled into it. I then throw the sack containing dek into the airlock and jettison her into the black hole.
Posted 14 Jul 09
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When two years vanished, Rachel emerged from the pits of her unknown hell. Thank the postman they arrived intact. She opened the partially invisible table. Her magic act complete with cape, wand and tophat. It was the first time she ever threw up
Posted 27 Apr 08
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Guess The Next Person to Reply! (descriptive mode) Episode III
Nope.
The next person has Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Posted 20 Jul 08
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Extra Egregiously Erroneous Information
Because you don't irritate them enough.
I'm deep, aren't I?
Posted 01 Jul 08
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Guess the next person to reply - season 3
answer("No, I'm not "+escape("Jason"));
guess("dekrazee1");
Posted 01 May 08
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