Yay! Another long post game!

Poster above asks a question. Poster below makes up a (wrong) answer, then asks a new question. Repete ad infinum.

Example:

Why can't pyrokinetics manipulate non-incendiary heat as well as flames?

Because pyrokinetics have been a bit clumsy ever since that little accident a few years back.

Why do dogs nails stay out while cats can retract their claws?

Because dogs never got around to applying for the permits you need for carrying concealed weapons.

Ready? Go!

Why is the sky blue? 

thats the sky's favorite color.

how does the TV work? 

There are miniature people inside the TV playing out different roles.

 Why is it hot in the summer?

Because that's when people like to go jogging. And, as you know, exercise produces heat that's why you sweat. If more people jogged in the winter we wouldn't have seasons.

Why does my internet connection slow down sometimes? 

because thats when the internet sprites are taking a break.

how does an ipod work? 

Tiny clones playing tiny insturments.

Why can't we all just get along? 

(HAHAHAHAHA Hilarious answers!!!!)

Why can't we all just get along?

Its those damn brain-gnomes turning us against each other! But if you buy now you can get a half gallon of my patented brain gnome removing fluid for just $29.95, and it comes with a free squeegee

Because it was a woman who invented hammocks; she is despied by housewives everywhere who wish their husbands would get out of the darn thing and mow the lawn.

Why is the moon inching away from the Earth? 

Because they broke up.

Why is everything so expensive?

When you look at things from a constant monetary perspective, you'll see that the real dollar cost of items are not as expensive as they appear.  For example, if you hold the world steady at 1983 dollars and use the average cost basis for indexing (as is typical in a supercillious mutual fund) the rate of inflation is actually negative for certain markets such as chewing gum and balsamic vinegar while for other markets, such as ironic comments and rear-facing child seats, a rate cannot be determined due to the abstract intangibleness of the international exchange rates (Australian to American dollars).  When you counter balance the multiplier effect of one dollar with the compound interest of a shilling found in your left shoe, you can easily deduce why it appears you have insufficient funds.  In short, the rich get richer and you get poorer.

Why is yellow the safest color for a car? 

because no one else wants to get even a tiny amount of that hideous colour on their vehicle, so they avoid hitting them like the plague

what evolutionary purpose does it serve for human fertility to be concealed? (Other animals can tell when the females are in season)

Because some people are ugly, so it's necessary to trick lovers into procreation.

Why is the majority of an iceberg under water? 

Icebergs are actually the vessels of the creatures from Titan, the moon of Saturn.  They are under water to conceal the vast weaponry they will unleash upon the Earth.  Fortunately time goes really slow for Titans, so we are good for the near future.

Why does everyone think that the Coriolis force causes water to swirl in different directions in different hemispheres? 

Because it does

 What is the atomic number of gold

It's AU.... oh no that's actually right! I am such a geek...

What is the name of Justin Timberlake's band?

Crab Shrapnel.

How did I manage to get a C in my math class when I only turned in half the assignments? 

You were confused for another much stupider student.

Which way is up? 

Down.

Where is Australia?

Right above your house

When will the cows come home? 

Next to Austria

What is the mean distance to the moon 

Is this actually right

"It's AU.... oh no that's actually right!  " 

Actually I confused number and symbol... Gold's symbol is Au, it's number is 79

O.o 79 was my answer to another question

e^Pi - Pi Megameters

Why doesn't YouTube work on my coworkers computer? 

YouTube has beef with them specifically

Why does my knee hurt? 

My coworker kicked it in frustration.

Why does time go fast when your having fun? 

Because time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana

Where can I get a good sandwich? 

LOL. Behind a tree and under a rock

What if Ray-J had one wish? 

He would waste it in the corrupted wish thread.

Why do the bolts on fire hydrants have five sides? 

LOL. Its like their gang tattoo.

How does Webster define Webster's dictionary? 

As the worlds largest paperweight made of paper.

Why do I procrastinate so? 

Youre trying to turn it into the new American pastime

why do i always bite my nails? 

Human nails produce small quantities of narcotics.  Nail-biters are on the fast track to becoming drug addicts.  Soon you will be asking to bite your friends nails, strangers nails on the street and even dog's nails (although that wouldn't work because dog nails produce depressants).

Why would you answer this question with a one-liner? 

Because I dont have the attention span to make it longer.

Why does the universe suck? 

It all started with the Big Bang.  The Big Bang began a period of expansion of the Universe and for quite a long time, it was good.  Unfortunately for you, the Universe is now contracting, resulting in all matter being sucked back to the origin of the Big Bang.

Why do "people" use "quotation marks" "inappropriately?"

"because" "using" "quotation" "marks" make" "you" "look" "cool

why does my stomach hurt? 

Cos you ate a grape, seed and all, and now there's a vine growing inside...

Why do people use the apostrophe inappropriately?

because apostrophes>

why do random parts of my body keep hurting? 

Cos they're trying to get your attention.

Why do people blog?

They want to feel like their opinion matters even when it doesnt.

why is music the best thing since ever? 

We were bored with sliced bread.

How do VCRs work 

There's a little elf inside furiously hammering content onto the tape.

Why do we wear shoes?

To end the debate over slippers.

How do CDs work? 

There's a little band on the disk that plays the songs you want

Why is evil so much more fun than good?

good lost its appeal when charities started doing it and had to bug everyone for mony as a side-effect, now we're all subconsciously programmed to do evil so we don't have to annoy people like that

why can I never think of any questions? 

Because all the good questions are getting used in the wish game

WHy 42 not 46?

because 46 is evil - if you divide 4 by 6 you get 2/3 or 0.666.. which is clearly an ancient hebrew code for the name of the antichrist

even if you know about it actually being 616 due to some slip in translation, you can get that by subtracting the 6 from the middle digit of 666 (which we got above) to make 606, then adding on the result of dividing 46 by itself (again to the middle digit)

see, numerology says 46 is evil, whereas with 42, 4 divide by 2 is 2 and 2 divide by 4 is 0.5, if you take the 2.5 you get by adding them, multiply it by the 2 and add on another 2, then you get 7, which is a lucky number, and the number of days in the week, the only number less evil than 7 is 3, which just happens to be right in the middle of 4 and 2 (coincidence?!?!?)

Moving right along, which is smoother, the planet Earth or a squash ball? 

The planet Earth, if you use a L^n norm for sufficiently large n.

What is the quadratic formula? 

The next formula above the triangular formula.

Why do I go through so many keyboards? And what should I do with the pile of dead ones?

Cos they're made of jelly. Plant the old ones - they'll eventually grow and produce keyboard fruit

Why is glass transparent?

Because there is stuff on the other side that demands to be seen.

Why are there so many useless  functions on mobile phones?

Cos it stops mobile phone users from biting their nails.

Why do minute/hour hands move clockwise?

It's the endless dance of love:  the minute hand always pursuing their one true love, the hour hand but never keeping them.

Why is the sea salty? 

Cos the salt bandits were looking for a place to hide their salt heist, and thought dumping it into the ocean would be the ideal hiding place.

What is the dance of love?

It's how the hands on a clock move (durrrr...)

Why is water wet? 

Because the sun is dry

What makes a table a table?

Philosophers are split into two camps on this matter and a heated debate rages.  On the one side are the Empiricalists, who insist it is the flat surface and three or more legs that make the table.  On the other side are the Spiritualists, who insist it is the way a table is used (having dinner, doing homework, etc.) that makes a table a table.  One of Decartes earliest works put forth a third vision of table philosophy (or mensasophy as it is known to specialists in the field) that foreshadowed his famous "I think therefore I am" treatise, claiming that a table is a table as proof of God's existence, but modern philosophers do not put much stock into this theory.

The Wikipedia page on mensasophy is a well known example of a wiki war, with the Empiricalists and Spiritualists constantly defacing the page to advance their point of view at the expense of the opposite camp.  So fierce is the battle that Wikipedia has had to suspend edits to the page multiple times.  It is currently so suspended, but unfortunately not before a teenager from Michigan posted "mensasophy is suxor, go wolverines".  It is not known if the offender is an Empiricalist or a Spiritualist.

Why is it more fun to write long answers in this thread? 

Because you can get away with it

Why am I getting so addicted to these games?

You are not addicted to the games, just the sight of your own typed words.

Why do flowers smell? 

When designing the Universe, God realized that there would be a need for perfumes and the like.  Thus He spent many long hours designing things that smell.  The first few attempts were not very successful (witness skunks and Mick Jagger) but He kept at it.  The next few attempts were an improvement (witness mint and limes) but not quite what He needed.  He finally struck at flowers; the unfortunate side affect was that bees were now attracted to the plants.  The bees would attack the people harvesting the flowers to make the perfume.  So He added pollen to the flowers to appease the bees.

Why would God strike dead anyone who does not use proper capitalization when referring to Him? 

Because god is a wuss. (c'mon god, give us your  best sh......)

Why do we feel pain

Its those damn brain gnomes again!!!!

But now they're back and they have long pointy sticks to poke at our sensitive flesh with 

If a bird can fly, why can't a fly bird?

Cos the evolutionary process decided that to be able to bird wasn't progess....

Why do ppl wish upon stars?

Because there is too much ground to wish upon it.

Why do geeks like word games?

Cos they're sick of numbers.

Why are elephants scared of mice?

Because of their unusal strength

Why in the northern hemisphere is it hotter in summer, yet the sun is farther away?

(or if that is the otherway'round, why that?) 

While the sun is further away from the Earth during the summer in the northern hemisphere, it does burn hotter during that time of year.  The little hamsters that power the sun are fed fruit during the summer months, as opposed to the grain they get during the winter months, and work harder because of it.

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?  (Apologies to George Carlin.) 

because people are stupid

oh wait, thats too close to being a right answer..

How about BRAIN GNOMES!!.. no, done that too much already

Ok, its all a conspiracy designed by the Republicans and enacted by dolphins to confuse us all into believing contradictory things so that we will eventually submit to an Orwellian society. Remember, War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength.

How come some people can't smell certain types of grapefruit? 

Because those kinds of grapefruits don't really have a scent, you just think they do.

How come Google doesn't have a fancy icon today?

Because my Dad's birthday isn't that big a deal to them.

Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego?

She's hiding in a remote village in the Himalayas along with Wally, both are actually international terrorists, but since they're on our side we've been carefully fed propaganda as children so we wouldn't suspect them.

Is there a chance that I'm actually nocturnal? It would explain a lot if I was

You are... and actually you transform every full moon...

why I am so unmotivated today?

Too easy: Because it is FRIDAY and there is way too much else to do than work

Why can't the Phoenix Mercury win every game?

Because Bill Simmons drives from LA to heckle them.

Why can't the Boston Celtics hire competent management? 

Cos competent management has been paid off by the rest of the team to avoid Boston.

Why are spheres round?

So they bounce.

Are computer cookies edible?

They are..... they also have a knack of telling you your fortune without you asking for it.

Why do mosquitoes bite?

They are trying out their new false teeth.

Why can't we ever stick to the rules of one of these games, like this one? 

Cos rebellion is inbuilt in our DNA....

Why do people count sheep to get to sleep?

Sheep are accomplished hypnotists and get you to do all sorts of things after you "fall asleep".

Why do people eat meat and vegetables? 

So neither one feels left out.

How deep is the ocean?

About 3 feet (question is, whose feet are we using as a measuring standard )

how come penguins feet don't freeze

Cos their blood is actually anti-freeze

Why does it rain?

It's Jesus' wee-wee 

Does anything eat wasps? 

I do.

How do you get rid of groundhogs?

with airhogs
what color is water?

blue

where are Toyota cars built?

In sweden.

What makes hail?

Hail is caused by airplanes strafing the tops of tall mountains.  Local govenrments usually contract out for hail when it is advantageous to them.  E.g., if they need to cause a little havoc in an area, or provide cover for some nefarious operations.  Private citizns will sometimes order the hail themselves, but this is ill-advised unless you have bribed the appropriate government officials.

Why is the sun yellow? 

So that it will stand out from the blue of the sky.

Why do people irritate me?

Because you are the Dali Lama.

What are nanobes?

Baby nano Ipods

What is the chaos theory?

It's a theory that is far too chaotic to explain.

How are socks made? 

They are actually a parasite found on sheep. All you need to do is pluck em off

What is existentialism?

The common practice of investing in one's home and property by adding an existential, that might house and extra bedroom or a garage, or a games room, or a granny flat.

What is antidisestablishmentarianism?

A word made up by John Thomas in 1858 to answer his young daughter's riddle, what is the longest word in the English language?

Why is e the most used letter in the English language? 

Because it looks nicer than all the other letters.

How did Bill Gates react to not being the richest man in the world anymore?

Wiped his tears away on a hundred dollar bill and moved on with his life, eventually he'll take out his frustration on the world by making the next version of Windows even worse than Vista

Whats the point of yawning? 

Yawning is like sleeping for 4 hours... makes you less tired.

What's in a cookie?

Long strings of letters and numbers.

How is ink made?

When a mummy pen and a daddy pen love each other very much

Why is it that when 4 colours are used to represent different factions in a game, or 4 options, or 4 of anything, its almost always red blue yellow and green?  Red blue and yellow I can understand, but why was green chosen over orange or purple?

exception to the above being Weewar, congrats to them

Green is more competitive. 

Why does an I look just like an l (little L) on a computer?

(p.s. Drdec - Because time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana - I love it) 

I is involved in a complex conspiracy against l, by impersonating l, I is trying to bring l's name into disrepute so that all the other letters will throw l out of the alphabet and I can take l's place, which is a better place than I has right now because it's closer to m. All the letters love m

How come the wind stops? Surely the displaced air still has to go somewhere, why doesn't the wind keep blowing in a contiuous movement all the way around the planet

There's an invisible wall on the international date line which deflects all the wind up into space.

Why do we insure stuff?

Insurance companies have made us irrationally afraid of unlikely events

wait.. this is the one where you answer it wrong, sorry, ignore that

its all the brain gnomes making us irrationally afraid of unlikely events! 

got a question?

nope

how much wood would a woodchuck chuch?

2 cm squared. Anymore and their brain gets the shakes

Why do moths get attracted to flames?

moths are sexually attracted by fire, its because nature decided moths were a dead end and is actually trying to kill them off

how come a floating piece of cereal can always find, and stick to all its "friends"

There is a real reason for this. But it's secret cereal stuff.

Should I start a new game in here or in another group? 

Start it in another group.... this way you'll know who your fans are

Why has this group gone quiet?

Because it's not speaking up for itself.

What is the formula for the Earth/Moon common centre of gravity? Or that for any two orbiting astronomical bodies?

1 + 1 = 1

Why do my fingers get frozen when I type, yet my lappie is as hot as a heater?

Your lappie is a heater. Hes really a transformer.

how come one of my hands is hot and the other one is cold? 

Because it's on derazee1's lap-top. The other is reaching for ice cream.

How much should a mouse trap cost. 

The same price as a dead mouse

Why do I feel so.. 'bleh' today?

For the same reason I do.

How do light bulbs work.? 

The same way everybody else works.  First they post a resume on monster.com.  Then they are contacted by five headhunters with wildly inappropriate jobs who ask them to embellish their resumes a little.  (Come on, Solaris, AIX, what's the difference?)  Then they go on a series of exhaustive interviews cuminating the landing of the perfect job where they spend all day on tangler.com.

Why did my boss just come in and say he wants a chat? 

(HAHAHAHAHA Excellent answer drdec!)

Cos he was feeling lonely, and he looked around, and spotted you and thought to himself - 'there's a bloke I'd like to spend some time with!'

Am I too much in love with my car?

No it's not love, it's an obsession with petrol.

Are Sapce Rocks/Pop Rocks/Expolding Candy legally explosives? 

Yes. In fact just mentioning them is a felony. You're coming with us.

Why is the sun so damn bright? 

Cos it uses teeth whitening

What is wind chill factor?

It is in reallity The Wind Chilli Factor. :The ratio of consumed Mexican food to flatulence and how it affects the local weather.

How long does our planet have?

by rights it should have imploded last thursday, but it's delayed for some reason

why do people ever bother putting chocolate on things (e.g. fruit, biscuits, wafers) when its clear that the thing is just a vehicle for moving chocolate into the mouth - why not just have a bar of chocolate?

Chocolate is like a badly trained, or just bad, actor. And like all badly trained, or just bad, actors, it "needs its medium" in which to express and convey  itself to its audience.  This is why great chocolate ends up on poor incidental products, like biscuits (see Brazil, Spain and Portugal). Just as great actors end up making sh**ty films. Or conversely, really poor chocolate ends up on really great scripts.

Why is the earth dying from human exploitation? Don't we love our home? Can we save it from ourselves?

The earth is not dying. It is just getting bored of being dug up and moved and stamped on and things like that. It will destroy all life upon itself and then feel sad until it finds something to do. And being a planet, there really isn't that much for you to do.

Why?

"Why?" Not "because" that's for sure.

Why was the music and comedy of  old people's youth better than it is today?

Cos the TV sets and radios they watched/listened to it on were crap....

Why does alcohol warm you up?

That answer makes no sense.

Alcohol warms you up because of the government's  promotion of ethanol/bio-fuel. So it has to. 

Why is a hair hairy?

(It makes sense if you read the question as why those things sound better today)

It is fulfilling its existential purpose

Why do dogs bark?

Because cats "tree"

Wasssup? 

Birds

What's the 'cil' in pencil?

Cilla Black

What is the next question REALLY about?

about the mystery of life.

So, is life mysterious?

Not at all, if you haven't figured it all out yet there must be something wrong in your head

How long would it take a person to die from lack of sleep? (If someone was actively preventing them from sleeping) 

Never..... the person will master the art of sleeping with their eyes open.... or they'll do raving mad and kill their tormentor first.

What is more important for living - sleep or water?

sleep. I mean water is water, but when you sleep, you dream! O.o

Why does the inside of my ear sting so bad? 

hundreds of tiny little teeth are growing inside your ear, soon you'll be able to sharpen pencils with them

happens to everyone at around your age

why is it that even when I've had plenty of sleep I wake up yawning 

its not a yawn...its a long and different form of cough.

why does my mouse flash? 

Because it has no social conscience or constraints, and feels fine about exposing itself in public.

What was the first question ever asked? 

Why was the sky all but blue?

what caused this question to be asked?

The blue tinited sunglasses worn by early man.

Why are stripes stripey? 

Because the bits in between the stripes are not stripes (anti-stripes) therefore leaving the remaining surface to be striped.

Why should I not work now?

Because you should .

Why do I buy more cigarettes than I actually smoke?

Presumably you hang out with a load of cadgers

Does the ring around the moon ever fart?

Is there a ring around the moon? So No.

Is swiss cheese full of holes or are swiss holes surrounded by cheese?

Swiss cheese is just a block of cheese with invisible bit in it

Which will kill you first, printers or cigarettes?

SYSTEM ERROR!!

(Cat responded with a question - teh intarnets fails)

SYSTEM CORRECTION THE CAT RESUMED ORIGINAL NAME. SYSTEM RE-BOOTS

Nat fails to ask question. So all erroneous answers are missing.

Is frozen the natural state of prawns?

No.  They only freeze when their nice warm exo-skeleton is peeled off them.

How can something as ugly as a pig be a a constituent of a gorgeous bacon buttie?

Cos it's not abt how you look, it's abt what's inside...

Can a troll kill Legolas?

Absolutely, if the troll has berserk and quad damage.

Can a troll pick up a powerup?

After killing legolas, sure!

Does drinking coffee lead to hair loss?

Yes.

Does hair loss lead to trolling

It can - if you're a lava troll

Do trolls live near volcanoes?

Volcanoes produce trolls.

Does Aragon have an e-mail address?

Yes but he expressly asked me not to pass it round. It's a Gmail account tho.

Can Gimli use a Wii controller?

No but a Wii can use a Gimli controller

Can these questions get any more off the original point of the topic?

Yes

Can someone tell me the point of this topic? (read this question carefully)

Yes they can, but only on Sundays.

Where is life most likely to be found?

Close your eyes, focus one foot in front of you and breathe deeply.

Are you cross-eyed now?

yeah, i am. THANKS A LOT

why does techno make me wanna prance about like a idiot?

That would be the acid ... not the music

Why aren't classical music enthusiasts pillheads? Or are they ...

They can't afford pills

Why can't cars be mandated to get 40mpg?

Because the law makers can't count above 10.

Why do I have writer's block?

You don't it's an excuse for a lack of talent.

Why did I write that?

Cos you're suffering from writer's block.

Why do we call some events World Cup when the whole world isn't involved?

Because the whole world is usually invited to qualify. Unlike the US's Baseball WORLD series.

Why did I forget a question there?

You didn't.... you only forgot that you asked it

Why are my fingernails so hard?

They'll take anyone else's fingernails in a fight.

What's the meaning of it all?

Dictionary.

Why do people keep insisting on looking for the meaning of things?

Because they keep getting lost.

Does "Prime Minister Gordon Brown"  only sound odd to me?

He is actually The Flash in disguise, that's why you think it's odd.

How is one supposed to put out an oil fire?

You have to be careful putting out an oil fire. Usually it won't fit through the cat-flap so you have to open the door.  Wearing oven gloves might help prevent burns while carrying it.

Why does the phone book not list the number for "The International Date line"?

hi

Back in the early forties the phone book did list the international date line.  Unfortunately it caused no end of confusion as WWII wives attempted to use it to connect to their GI husbands.  At that point most of the participants on the date line were Japanese men.  Husbands in Allied countries were understandably upset at this situation and FDR ordered the phone companies to delist the line as a matter of national security.

There have been sporadic attempts to get the date relisted since that time.  It actually came closest to happening during the Nixon administration after a decade of lobbying by the free love crowd.  Rumor has it that one of the reasons Nixon went to China was to gauge the effects of the International Date Line.  After crossing it twice, Nixon was all for it.  However, the Nixon administration became embroiled in scandal shortly afterwards before the policy could be enacted.

The current climate in America is as cold to the relisting as at any point since WWII.  Since the delisting occurred as a national security act, and the Bush administration is as focused on national security as possible, opposition to the relisting goes all the way to the Oval Office.  Future prospects are not bright either, as Clinton has come out against the listing (after a lifetime of keeping the number from her husband, it is no wonder), while Romney is against it on religious reasons, Guiliani on nuisance grounds and McCain because he hasn't forgiven his captors.

Why does American cheese come in yellow and white varieties?

Because they ran out of green grass.... (Excellent answer to Mr Dent's question drdec!)

Why do people disagree with me?

People don't disagree with you!

Does the electricity that leaks out of wall sockets and onto the floor (when the plug is removed), cause any damage to the vacuum cleaner if the bag or dust tank is not emptied until the following day.?

Yes.

What's a good question that will elicit another cool answer from drdec?

It's not the question, its the person who asks that elicits the answer....

Why isn't there life on Mars?

There is life on Mars. And Snickers.

Where does your sole go when it dies and has to be removed from your shoe?

It becomes a sole singer...

Why does a football not look like any kind of foot?

Because it is made of skin...

Why is the American football so oddly shaped?

Americans can't play rugby.

Why are shoe laces so called ? And so is lace, a completely different thing?

Lace is old fashioned. Shoes are done up with buckles or Velcro these days.

Why do we insist on www when we can say "world wide web" in 6 fewer syllables?

This isn't an answer: but I say/pronounce 'w' 'w' 'w' these days.

Why didn't I have a stupid answer?

You forgot to turn off your stupid blocker before you came on tangler.

What if we had a literally green day?

It would be a celebration of one of the deadly sins.

Why do watches/clocks make to work clockwise?

Because if it were to stop it would still tell the right time twice a day.

Why does Febr