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Yay! Another long post game!
Poster above asks a question. Poster below makes up a (wrong) answer, then asks a new question. Repete ad infinum.
Example:
Why can't pyrokinetics manipulate non-incendiary heat as well as flames?
Because pyrokinetics have been a bit clumsy ever since that little accident a few years back.
Why do dogs nails stay out while cats can retract their claws?
Because dogs never got around to applying for the permits you need for carrying concealed weapons.
Ready? Go!
Why is the sky blue?
thats the sky's favorite color.
how does the TV work?
There are miniature people inside the TV playing out different roles.
Why is it hot in the summer?
Because that's when people like to go jogging. And, as you know, exercise produces heat that's why you sweat. If more people jogged in the winter we wouldn't have seasons.
Why does my internet connection slow down sometimes?
because thats when the internet sprites are taking a break.
how does an ipod work?
Tiny clones playing tiny insturments.
Why can't we all just get along?
(HAHAHAHAHA Hilarious answers!!!!)
Why can't we all just get along?
Its those damn brain-gnomes turning us against each other! But if you buy now you can get a half gallon of my patented brain gnome removing fluid for just $29.95, and it comes with a free squeegee
for a limited time only while stocks last, side effects may include blocked nose, nausea, vomiting, rashes, diarrhoea, constipation, broken bones, kidney stones, blood poisoning, heart palpitations, loss of vision, hearing or other senses, kidney failure, liver failure, internal haemorraghing, tumours, collapsed lungs, Ebola infections, or death
How come the guy who invented hammocks isn't revered as the greatest genius of all time?
Because it was a woman who invented hammocks; she is despied by housewives everywhere who wish their husbands would get out of the darn thing and mow the lawn.
Why is the moon inching away from the Earth?
Because they broke up.
Why is everything so expensive?
When you look at things from a constant monetary perspective, you'll see that the real dollar cost of items are not as expensive as they appear. For example, if you hold the world steady at 1983 dollars and use the average cost basis for indexing (as is typical in a supercillious mutual fund) the rate of inflation is actually negative for certain markets such as chewing gum and balsamic vinegar while for other markets, such as ironic comments and rear-facing child seats, a rate cannot be determined due to the abstract intangibleness of the international exchange rates (Australian to American dollars). When you counter balance the multiplier effect of one dollar with the compound interest of a shilling found in your left shoe, you can easily deduce why it appears you have insufficient funds. In short, the rich get richer and you get poorer.
Why is yellow the safest color for a car?
because no one else wants to get even a tiny amount of that hideous colour on their vehicle, so they avoid hitting them like the plague
what evolutionary purpose does it serve for human fertility to be concealed? (Other animals can tell when the females are in season)
Because some people are ugly, so it's necessary to trick lovers into procreation.
Why is the majority of an iceberg under water?
Icebergs are actually the vessels of the creatures from Titan, the moon of Saturn. They are under water to conceal the vast weaponry they will unleash upon the Earth. Fortunately time goes really slow for Titans, so we are good for the near future.
Why does everyone think that the Coriolis force causes water to swirl in different directions in different hemispheres?
Because it does
What is the atomic number of gold
It's AU.... oh no that's actually right! I am such a geek...
What is the name of Justin Timberlake's band?
Crab Shrapnel.
How did I manage to get a C in my math class when I only turned in half the assignments?
You were confused for another much stupider student.
Which way is up?
Down.
Where is Australia?
Right above your house
When will the cows come home?
Next to Austria
What is the mean distance to the moon
Is this actually right
"It's AU.... oh no that's actually right! "
Actually I confused number and symbol... Gold's symbol is Au, it's number is 79
O.o 79 was my answer to another question
e^Pi - Pi Megameters
Why doesn't YouTube work on my coworkers computer?
YouTube has beef with them specifically
Why does my knee hurt?
My coworker kicked it in frustration.
Why does time go fast when your having fun?
Because time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
Where can I get a good sandwich?
LOL. Behind a tree and under a rock
What if Ray-J had one wish?
He would waste it in the corrupted wish thread.
Why do the bolts on fire hydrants have five sides?
LOL. Its like their gang tattoo.
How does Webster define Webster's dictionary?
As the worlds largest paperweight made of paper.
Why do I procrastinate so?
Youre trying to turn it into the new American pastime
why do i always bite my nails?
Human nails produce small quantities of narcotics. Nail-biters are on the fast track to becoming drug addicts. Soon you will be asking to bite your friends nails, strangers nails on the street and even dog's nails (although that wouldn't work because dog nails produce depressants).
Why would you answer this question with a one-liner?
Because I dont have the attention span to make it longer.
Why does the universe suck?
It all started with the Big Bang. The Big Bang began a period of expansion of the Universe and for quite a long time, it was good. Unfortunately for you, the Universe is now contracting, resulting in all matter being sucked back to the origin of the Big Bang.
Why do "people" use "quotation marks" "inappropriately?"
"because" "using" "quotation" "marks" make" "you" "look" "cool
why does my stomach hurt?
Cos you ate a grape, seed and all, and now there's a vine growing inside...
Why do people use the apostrophe inappropriately?
because apostrophes>
why do random parts of my body keep hurting?
Cos they're trying to get your attention.
Why do people blog?
They want to feel like their opinion matters even when it doesnt.
why is music the best thing since ever?
We were bored with sliced bread.
How do VCRs work
There's a little elf inside furiously hammering content onto the tape.
Why do we wear shoes?
To end the debate over slippers.
How do CDs work?
There's a little band on the disk that plays the songs you want
Why is evil so much more fun than good?
good lost its appeal when charities started doing it and had to bug everyone for mony as a side-effect, now we're all subconsciously programmed to do evil so we don't have to annoy people like that
why can I never think of any questions?
Because all the good questions are getting used in the wish game
WHy 42 not 46?
because 46 is evil - if you divide 4 by 6 you get 2/3 or 0.666.. which is clearly an ancient hebrew code for the name of the antichrist
even if you know about it actually being 616 due to some slip in translation, you can get that by subtracting the 6 from the middle digit of 666 (which we got above) to make 606, then adding on the result of dividing 46 by itself (again to the middle digit)
see, numerology says 46 is evil, whereas with 42, 4 divide by 2 is 2 and 2 divide by 4 is 0.5, if you take the 2.5 you get by adding them, multiply it by the 2 and add on another 2, then you get 7, which is a lucky number, and the number of days in the week, the only number less evil than 7 is 3, which just happens to be right in the middle of 4 and 2 (coincidence?!?!?)
Moving right along, which is smoother, the planet Earth or a squash ball?
The planet Earth, if you use a L^n norm for sufficiently large n.
What is the quadratic formula?
The next formula above the triangular formula.
Why do I go through so many keyboards? And what should I do with the pile of dead ones?
Cos they're made of jelly. Plant the old ones - they'll eventually grow and produce keyboard fruit
Why is glass transparent?
Because there is stuff on the other side that demands to be seen.
Why are there so many useless functions on mobile phones?
Cos it stops mobile phone users from biting their nails.
Why do minute/hour hands move clockwise?
It's the endless dance of love: the minute hand always pursuing their one true love, the hour hand but never keeping them.
Why is the sea salty?
Cos the salt bandits were looking for a place to hide their salt heist, and thought dumping it into the ocean would be the ideal hiding place.
What is the dance of love?
It's how the hands on a clock move (durrrr...)
Why is water wet?
Because the sun is dry
What makes a table a table?
Philosophers are split into two camps on this matter and a heated debate rages. On the one side are the Empiricalists, who insist it is the flat surface and three or more legs that make the table. On the other side are the Spiritualists, who insist it is the way a table is used (having dinner, doing homework, etc.) that makes a table a table. One of Decartes earliest works put forth a third vision of table philosophy (or mensasophy as it is known to specialists in the field) that foreshadowed his famous "I think therefore I am" treatise, claiming that a table is a table as proof of God's existence, but modern philosophers do not put much stock into this theory.
The Wikipedia page on mensasophy is a well known example of a wiki war, with the Empiricalists and Spiritualists constantly defacing the page to advance their point of view at the expense of the opposite camp. So fierce is the battle that Wikipedia has had to suspend edits to the page multiple times. It is currently so suspended, but unfortunately not before a teenager from Michigan posted "mensasophy is suxor, go wolverines". It is not known if the offender is an Empiricalist or a Spiritualist.
Why is it more fun to write long answers in this thread?
Because you can get away with it
Why am I getting so addicted to these games?
You are not addicted to the games, just the sight of your own typed words.
Why do flowers smell?
When designing the Universe, God realized that there would be a need for perfumes and the like. Thus He spent many long hours designing things that smell. The first few attempts were not very successful (witness skunks and Mick Jagger) but He kept at it. The next few attempts were an improvement (witness mint and limes) but not quite what He needed. He finally struck at flowers; the unfortunate side affect was that bees were now attracted to the plants. The bees would attack the people harvesting the flowers to make the perfume. So He added pollen to the flowers to appease the bees.
Why would God strike dead anyone who does not use proper capitalization when referring to Him?
Because god is a wuss. (c'mon god, give us your best sh......)
Why do we feel pain
Its those damn brain gnomes again!!!!
But now they're back and they have long pointy sticks to poke at our sensitive flesh with
If a bird can fly, why can't a fly bird?
Cos the evolutionary process decided that to be able to bird wasn't progess....
Why do ppl wish upon stars?
Because there is too much ground to wish upon it.
Why do geeks like word games?
Cos they're sick of numbers.
Why are elephants scared of mice?
Because of their unusal strength
Why in the northern hemisphere is it hotter in summer, yet the sun is farther away?
(or if that is the otherway'round, why that?)
While the sun is further away from the Earth during the summer in the northern hemisphere, it does burn hotter during that time of year. The little hamsters that power the sun are fed fruit during the summer months, as opposed to the grain they get during the winter months, and work harder because of it.
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? (Apologies to George Carlin.)
because people are stupid
oh wait, thats too close to being a right answer..
How about BRAIN GNOMES!!.. no, done that too much already
Ok, its all a conspiracy designed by the Republicans and enacted by dolphins to confuse us all into believing contradictory things so that we will eventually submit to an Orwellian society. Remember, War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength.
How come some people can't smell certain types of grapefruit?
Because those kinds of grapefruits don't really have a scent, you just think they do.
How come Google doesn't have a fancy icon today?
Because my Dad's birthday isn't that big a deal to them.
Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego?
She's hiding in a remote village in the Himalayas along with Wally, both are actually international terrorists, but since they're on our side we've been carefully fed propaganda as children so we wouldn't suspect them.
Is there a chance that I'm actually nocturnal? It would explain a lot if I was
You are... and actually you transform every full moon...
why I am so unmotivated today?
Too easy: Because it is FRIDAY and there is way too much else to do than work
Why can't the Phoenix Mercury win every game?
Because Bill Simmons drives from LA to heckle them.
Why can't the Boston Celtics hire competent management?
Cos competent management has been paid off by the rest of the team to avoid Boston.
Why are spheres round?
So they bounce.
Are computer cookies edible?
They are..... they also have a knack of telling you your fortune without you asking for it.
Why do mosquitoes bite?
They are trying out their new false teeth.
Why can't we ever stick to the rules of one of these games, like this one?
Cos rebellion is inbuilt in our DNA....
Why do people count sheep to get to sleep?
Sheep are accomplished hypnotists and get you to do all sorts of things after you "fall asleep".
Why do people eat meat and vegetables?
So neither one feels left out.
How deep is the ocean?
About 3 feet (question is, whose feet are we using as a measuring standard 
)
how come penguins feet don't freeze
Cos their blood is actually anti-freeze
Why does it rain?
It's Jesus' wee-wee
Does anything eat wasps?
I do.
How do you get rid of groundhogs?
with airhogs
what color is water?
blue
where are Toyota cars built?
In sweden.
What makes hail?
Hail is caused by airplanes strafing the tops of tall mountains. Local govenrments usually contract out for hail when it is advantageous to them. E.g., if they need to cause a little havoc in an area, or provide cover for some nefarious operations. Private citizns will sometimes order the hail themselves, but this is ill-advised unless you have bribed the appropriate government officials.
Why is the sun yellow?
So that it will stand out from the blue of the sky.
Why do people irritate me?
Because you are the Dali Lama.
What are nanobes?
Baby nano Ipods
What is the chaos theory?
It's a theory that is far too chaotic to explain.
How are socks made?
They are actually a parasite found on sheep. All you need to do is pluck em off
What is existentialism?
The common practice of investing in one's home and property by adding an existential, that might house and extra bedroom or a garage, or a games room, or a granny flat.
What is antidisestablishmentarianism?
A word made up by John Thomas in 1858 to answer his young daughter's riddle, what is the longest word in the English language?
Why is e the most used letter in the English language?
Because it looks nicer than all the other letters.
How did Bill Gates react to not being the richest man in the world anymore?
Wiped his tears away on a hundred dollar bill and moved on with his life, eventually he'll take out his frustration on the world by making the next version of Windows even worse than Vista
Whats the point of yawning?
Yawning is like sleeping for 4 hours... makes you less tired.
What's in a cookie?
Long strings of letters and numbers.
How is ink made?
When a mummy pen and a daddy pen love each other very much
Why is it that when 4 colours are used to represent different factions in a game, or 4 options, or 4 of anything, its almost always red blue yellow and green? Red blue and yellow I can understand, but why was green chosen over orange or purple?
exception to the above being Weewar, congrats to them
Green is more competitive.
Why does an I look just like an l (little L) on a computer?
(p.s. Drdec - Because time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana - I love it)
I is involved in a complex conspiracy against l, by impersonating l, I is trying to bring l's name into disrepute so that all the other letters will throw l out of the alphabet and I can take l's place, which is a better place than I has right now because it's closer to m. All the letters love m
How come the wind stops? Surely the displaced air still has to go somewhere, why doesn't the wind keep blowing in a contiuous movement all the way around the planet
There's an invisible wall on the international date line which deflects all the wind up into space.
Why do we insure stuff?
Insurance companies have made us irrationally afraid of unlikely events
wait.. this is the one where you answer it wrong, sorry, ignore that
its all the brain gnomes making us irrationally afraid of unlikely events!
got a question?
nope
how much wood would a woodchuck chuch?
2 cm squared. Anymore and their brain gets the shakes
Why do moths get attracted to flames?
moths are sexually attracted by fire, its because nature decided moths were a dead end and is actually trying to kill them off
how come a floating piece of cereal can always find, and stick to all its "friends"
There is a real reason for this. But it's secret cereal stuff.
Should I start a new game in here or in another group?
Start it in another group.... this way you'll know who your fans are
Why has this group gone quiet?
Because it's not speaking up for itself.
What is the formula for the Earth/Moon common centre of gravity? Or that for any two orbiting astronomical bodies?
1 + 1 = 1
Why do my fingers get frozen when I type, yet my lappie is as hot as a heater?
Your lappie is a heater. Hes really a transformer.
how come one of my hands is hot and the other one is cold?
Because it's on derazee1's lap-top. The other is reaching for ice cream.
How much should a mouse trap cost.
The same price as a dead mouse
Why do I feel so.. 'bleh' today?
For the same reason I do.
How do light bulbs work.?
The same way everybody else works. First they post a resume on monster.com. Then they are contacted by five headhunters with wildly inappropriate jobs who ask them to embellish their resumes a little. (Come on, Solaris, AIX, what's the difference?) Then they go on a series of exhaustive interviews cuminating the landing of the perfect job where they spend all day on tangler.com.
Why did my boss just come in and say he wants a chat?
(HAHAHAHAHA Excellent answer drdec!)
Cos he was feeling lonely, and he looked around, and spotted you and thought to himself - 'there's a bloke I'd like to spend some time with!'
Am I too much in love with my car?
No it's not love, it's an obsession with petrol.
Are Sapce Rocks/Pop Rocks/Expolding Candy legally explosives?
Yes. In fact just mentioning them is a felony. You're coming with us.
Why is the sun so damn bright?
Cos it uses teeth whitening
What is wind chill factor?
It is in reallity The Wind Chilli Factor. :The ratio of consumed Mexican food to flatulence and how it affects the local weather.
How long does our planet have?
by rights it should have imploded last thursday, but it's delayed for some reason
why do people ever bother putting chocolate on things (e.g. fruit, biscuits, wafers) when its clear that the thing is just a vehicle for moving chocolate into the mouth - why not just have a bar of chocolate?
Chocolate is like a badly trained, or just bad, actor. And like all badly trained, or just bad, actors, it "needs its medium" in which to express and convey itself to its audience. This is why great chocolate ends up on poor incidental products, like biscuits (see Brazil, Spain and Portugal). Just as great actors end up making sh**ty films. Or conversely, really poor chocolate ends up on really great scripts.
Why is the earth dying from human exploitation? Don't we love our home? Can we save it from ourselves?
The earth is not dying. It is just getting bored of being dug up and moved and stamped on and things like that. It will destroy all life upon itself and then feel sad until it finds something to do. And being a planet, there really isn't that much for you to do.
Why?
"Why?" Not "because" that's for sure.
Why was the music and comedy of old people's youth better than it is today?
Cos the TV sets and radios they watched/listened to it on were crap....
Why does alcohol warm you up?
That answer makes no sense.
Alcohol warms you up because of the government's promotion of ethanol/bio-fuel. So it has to.
Why is a hair hairy?
(It makes sense if you read the question as why those things sound better today)
It is fulfilling its existential purpose
Why do dogs bark?
Because cats "tree"
Wasssup?
Birds
What's the 'cil' in pencil?
Cilla Black
What is the next question REALLY about?
about the mystery of life.
So, is life mysterious?
Not at all, if you haven't figured it all out yet there must be something wrong in your head
How long would it take a person to die from lack of sleep? (If someone was actively preventing them from sleeping)
Never..... the person will master the art of sleeping with their eyes open.... or they'll do raving mad and kill their tormentor first.
What is more important for living - sleep or water?
sleep. I mean water is water, but when you sleep, you dream! O.o
Why does the inside of my ear sting so bad?
hundreds of tiny little teeth are growing inside your ear, soon you'll be able to sharpen pencils with them
happens to everyone at around your age
why is it that even when I've had plenty of sleep I wake up yawning
its not a yawn...its a long and different form of cough.
why does my mouse flash?
Because it has no social conscience or constraints, and feels fine about exposing itself in public.
What was the first question ever asked?
Why was the sky all but blue?
what caused this question to be asked?
The blue tinited sunglasses worn by early man.
Why are stripes stripey?
Because the bits in between the stripes are not stripes (anti-stripes) therefore leaving the remaining surface to be striped.
Why should I not work now?
Because you should .
Why do I buy more cigarettes than I actually smoke?
Presumably you hang out with a load of cadgers
Does the ring around the moon ever fart?
Is there a ring around the moon? So No.
Is swiss cheese full of holes or are swiss holes surrounded by cheese?
Swiss cheese is just a block of cheese with invisible bit in it
Which will kill you first, printers or cigarettes?
SYSTEM ERROR!!
(Cat responded with a question - teh intarnets fails)
SYSTEM CORRECTION THE CAT RESUMED ORIGINAL NAME. SYSTEM RE-BOOTS
Nat fails to ask question. So all erroneous answers are missing.
Is frozen the natural state of prawns?
No. They only freeze when their nice warm exo-skeleton is peeled off them.
How can something as ugly as a pig be a a constituent of a gorgeous bacon buttie?
Cos it's not abt how you look, it's abt what's inside...
Can a troll kill Legolas?
Absolutely, if the troll has berserk and quad damage.
Can a troll pick up a powerup?
After killing legolas, sure!
Does drinking coffee lead to hair loss?
Yes.
Does hair loss lead to trolling
It can - if you're a lava troll
Do trolls live near volcanoes?
Volcanoes produce trolls.
Does Aragon have an e-mail address?
Yes but he expressly asked me not to pass it round. It's a Gmail account tho.
Can Gimli use a Wii controller?
No but a Wii can use a Gimli controller
Can these questions get any more off the original point of the topic?
Yes
Can someone tell me the point of this topic? (read this question carefully)
Yes they can, but only on Sundays.
Where is life most likely to be found?
Close your eyes, focus one foot in front of you and breathe deeply.
Are you cross-eyed now?
yeah, i am. THANKS A LOT
why does techno make me wanna prance about like a idiot?
That would be the acid ... not the music
Why aren't classical music enthusiasts pillheads? Or are they ...
They can't afford pills
Why can't cars be mandated to get 40mpg?
Because the law makers can't count above 10.
Why do I have writer's block?
You don't it's an excuse for a lack of talent.
Why did I write that?
Cos you're suffering from writer's block.
Why do we call some events World Cup when the whole world isn't involved?
Because the whole world is usually invited to qualify. Unlike the US's Baseball WORLD series.
Why did I forget a question there?
You didn't.... you only forgot that you asked it
Why are my fingernails so hard?
They'll take anyone else's fingernails in a fight.
What's the meaning of it all?
Dictionary.
Why do people keep insisting on looking for the meaning of things?
Because they keep getting lost.
Does "Prime Minister Gordon Brown" only sound odd to me?
He is actually The Flash in disguise, that's why you think it's odd.
How is one supposed to put out an oil fire?
You have to be careful putting out an oil fire. Usually it won't fit through the cat-flap so you have to open the door. Wearing oven gloves might help prevent burns while carrying it.
Why does the phone book not list the number for "The International Date line"?
hi
Back in the early forties the phone book did list the international date line. Unfortunately it caused no end of confusion as WWII wives attempted to use it to connect to their GI husbands. At that point most of the participants on the date line were Japanese men. Husbands in Allied countries were understandably upset at this situation and FDR ordered the phone companies to delist the line as a matter of national security.
There have been sporadic attempts to get the date relisted since that time. It actually came closest to happening during the Nixon administration after a decade of lobbying by the free love crowd. Rumor has it that one of the reasons Nixon went to China was to gauge the effects of the International Date Line. After crossing it twice, Nixon was all for it. However, the Nixon administration became embroiled in scandal shortly afterwards before the policy could be enacted.
The current climate in America is as cold to the relisting as at any point since WWII. Since the delisting occurred as a national security act, and the Bush administration is as focused on national security as possible, opposition to the relisting goes all the way to the Oval Office. Future prospects are not bright either, as Clinton has come out against the listing (after a lifetime of keeping the number from her husband, it is no wonder), while Romney is against it on religious reasons, Guiliani on nuisance grounds and McCain because he hasn't forgiven his captors.
Why does American cheese come in yellow and white varieties?
Because they ran out of green grass.... (Excellent answer to Mr Dent's question drdec!
)
Why do people disagree with me?
People don't disagree with you!
Does the electricity that leaks out of wall sockets and onto the floor (when the plug is removed), cause any damage to the vacuum cleaner if the bag or dust tank is not emptied until the following day.?
Yes.
What's a good question that will elicit another cool answer from drdec?
It's not the question, its the person who asks that elicits the answer....
Why isn't there life on Mars?
There is life on Mars. And Snickers.
Where does your sole go when it dies and has to be removed from your shoe?
It becomes a sole singer...
Why does a football not look like any kind of foot?
Because it is made of skin...
Why is the American football so oddly shaped?
Americans can't play rugby.
Why are shoe laces so called ? And so is lace, a completely different thing?
Lace is old fashioned. Shoes are done up with buckles or Velcro these days.
Why do we insist on www when we can say "world wide web" in 6 fewer syllables?
This isn't an answer: but I say/pronounce 'w' 'w' 'w' these days.
Why didn't I have a stupid answer?
You forgot to turn off your stupid blocker before you came on tangler.
What if we had a literally green day?
It would be a celebration of one of the deadly sins.
Why do watches/clocks make to work clockwise?
Because if it were to stop it would still tell the right time twice a day.
Why does February have so few days?
Cos the calendar makers got lazy
Why is the minute hand longer than the hour hand?
Because the clock is probably second hand.
If there are four seasons in a year, then how many are there in the Colonials secret recipe?
Four as well, tho that translates to 12 in marketing spiel
Why are office chairs so uncomfortable?
To distinguish them from people chairs.
Why do hospitals smell like hospitals?
Cos they aren't morgues....
Why is my nose irritated?
Because there is air in the air
Why are their people outside having fun while I am working?
They aren't. That's their job: to make you feel bad.
Why can men always find the exact off the shelf shirt they want but with some flaw, like not in your length, collar size, chest size etc...but only ever one flaw?
Cos if it had two flaws, you'd buy it!
Why do markers smell so nice?
Because you have a solvent problem.
Why are toe-nails so far away when you need to cut them?
They're trying to escape. But dont tell anybody, its a secret.
Why does The-N force you to watch their shows? 
Because no one except possibly you know who The-N is or are. It's a personal conspiracy against you.
Why are feet?
They were feet but now they are 0.3048 metres
Why don't I get hurt or bruised when I get stoned?
Because you are sitting in a nice comfy chair before firing up the bong.
What is "nut meat"?
The ultimate babe magnet 
Why is there nothing to eat here? D:
There is but it is only for special people there for not you.
Why is the sky blue?
Because it is experiencing some difficulty in breathing.
Why are kebabs so good?
They are only "really good" after 10 pints of Stella
Why do the military call Utility Vehicles; Vehicles, Utility?
properly and problem phrases An parsing sentences with historical.
Where are the Illusion Islands (it was in a report) ?
It was likely to be a report about an Ilyushin being intercepted near the Aleutian Islands which was creating an illusion
Why is a brand of Ant Killer named after Japan?
To stop them getting to Ja'pants.
Why are deadlines so called?
So you don't cross them!
Can you get a Paul Bunyan on your feet ?
Only when you kick the crap out of him
Why does South America and Africa look the same from a distance?
Because you are toooooo faaaaaaaar awaaaaaaay..............
What is the point of the Windows mixer on the Media Player?
(It's become my favourite question)
It makes lead light windows
Why are the ebay items I want always "pick up only" and 2000+km away?
Because you drive an antique.
Whats the point?
The point is the opposite end of the feathers.
Does diet coke really work?
Yes, if you are on a diet of Coke. Or indeed coke!!
What is the purpose of animals you cannot (or do not) eat ?
To feed the animals we do eat.
Why are people inconsiderate?
because they don't know what considerate means?
Why are my finger nails clear?
Don't question their clarity, they might become rather vague.
What stations does a "Station Wagon" refer to?
Those near bars...
Why are some people called jail birds?
Because they are "Caged Up", like a bird in captivity (I actually think that's the right answer!!!)
Whare did "Hopalong Cassidy" get the name Cassidy from?
That is the right answer.... You broke the rules!
He was trying to be the next David Cassidy
Why isn't the Last Post topic loading for me?
Because honestly it doesn't like you.
why do kangaroos bounce?
Because their tails are made of spring.
Why is this thing I use to move the cursor around called a 'mouse'?
Because
Why does the cursor move when you move the mouse?
Because it is scared of mice
Why is the tail of my mouse so long but others have no tail?
It hasn't been caught in a mousetrap yet, the others have and all but survived (all but their tails)
Can sheep secretly fly. But only at night?
Nah they just tell you that to try to impress you.
Why does my cell phone...oh sorry mobile ring at the most inconvenient time?
It's me being annoying.
Why?
Nothing
Why do I want to throw rocks at something.... anything?
Because you've run out of darts and dartboards.
When?
Just a few minutes before the man dropped his drunken baby out the window. (yep, the baby was drunk)
Can someone please explain to me the reason as to why Tom Cruise hasn't been smoted by the god of the jews yet?
They can't be bothered to waste their smite
Why are celebrities celebrated?
At first merely because they managed to impress one single talent agent sufficiently, and following that, because they were the cause of a prior celebration.
They say the game is 90% mental, so why is it that I can't win, seeing as I'm completely mental!?
You're over qualified...
Does genuis require a certain amount of madness?
God yes. But it balances out. Child prodigies usually end up as screwed-up (ie: normal) adults. And Genius is a short lived thing, Einstein, in his second half of life never stopped pursuing the wonder of his youth. Plainly mad.
I have two brothers who are geniuses, yet both plainly missing from their respective home worlds.
(That actually might be the right answer)
Who?
Surely, for what is genius but a profound deviation from the norm, a concept that is regarded as madness unless beneficial.
Now that Bill Gates is no longer the richest man in the world, how long until somebody else passes him and he falls to #3?
OY! wtf, it never told me you already responded! *is annoyed*
Who?
Bill Gates
Now that Bill Gates is no longer the richest man in the world, how long until somebody else passes him and he falls to #3?
As soon as I get my shit together it will be me.
Q. Why aren't I the 2nd richest person in the world?
Cos I am
Who's the richest?
I am, for I have figured out that running holds the secret to happiness.
Why haven't you?
Cos I'm a genius.... I take time
Why do people shoot other ppl?
It makes them feel powerful.
Why don't they do it more often?
Cos there aren't enough bullets.
Why was the Great Wall made?
To keep out the huns, who smelled.
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to produce showers?
They anticipated running out of water cos of global warming...
Why couldn't they just use cologne?
But the Huns were never a threat to the Chinese, as such.
More to Rome, who had the running water, for baths at least.
They couldn't use Cologne because it came from Germany, which was not in the Empire.
Why was "Baden Baden" called that when Bath was simply called "Bath"
To be Difficult and to confuse the masses.
Why is pokemon so addicting?
It's not. It's crap.
Why are B-doubles so called?
Because there are two of them
why is the building across from me pink?
its not. thats just the matrix affecting your brain.
how come people sleep on dope artists?
Cos dope artists are more comfy than mattresses.
How do pain killers work?
Under their new Australian Workplace Agreements, it's hard to say.
What do eskimo's do in the summer?
(ROFL!!!)
They sun bake and generally take it easy
Why are polar bears white?
Because it goes with their boots
Did the polar bears make a sensible choice of colour?
Yes, but a poor choice of material, and it faded....
What do polar bears think abt their cousins?
We give in, what do they think about their cousins...
Why has a hole in the ground got a bottom to it while a hole in, say, a pair of jeans or a polo mint, goes straight through?
If you are wearing the jeans, regardless of their structural integrity, there will always be a bottom in them.
What should I have for dinner tonight?
Tuna!
Why did I suggest Ruski have tuna for dinner?
Because Ruski doesn't eat seafood, particularly the benthic stuff.
Does the word toll as in bridge originate from the word Troll as in bridge?
Yes. They moved out from under the bridges and on to them, to work collecting the fees, due to a manpower shortage at the time of the first Troll later Toll Bridges.
Does hitting things with rocks harm the rocks in anyway?
nah! their numb to it after the 6th throw.
Why is my tummy hungry?
Cos your toes ate all your food
Should I have cornflakes for dinner?
Only if you are anemic, because otherwise the excessively high levels of iron you're intaking would cause you to be highly magnetically attracted to moving current. You might knock over telephone poles when you go to work tomorrow!
Should I run 12 or 17 miles today, assuming I haven't run in two weeks?
Neither, take the bus.
Which has the greater mass, The Asteroid belt or Jupiter?
Thats a good question.
Why does my iPod keep playing all the wierd songs i have and not the good ones?
Cos it knows what's good for you.
What to do abt a banana bread addiction?
years of intense rehab that results in a lifetime of crippling debt.
who is Imajin and why do I love that song flava now?
Because it suits you.
Why is it cloudy today?
Because the clouds were going to attack today. But they got lazy and loitered all day instead.
why am i still hungry and i just ate a few hours ago?
Because you have 3 stomachs.
Where did all the boys go?
The boring ones grew up. The rest of us are in the sandpit.
Why doesn't the Olympic Marathon comprise heats and semi's like other athletic events?
they do, but the athletes run at the speed of light so we never see them.
How come my school starts two weeks before everyone else's?
Because someone reversed the polarity of the dilithium crystals causing a stasis leak in the space/time continuum.
How many bananas in a bunch of grapes?
As many bottles of wine a bunch of grapes produces.
Why can't I remember the really good question I had ready just now?
Too many groups to deal with.
Why am I sooooooo tired today?
Cos you forgot to sleep last night.
Why am I having a fever?
Because you are too cold.
Whay am I still soooo tired even though I did sleep last night.
Because you haven't had any invigorating conversation yet.
Do you lose your singing voice if you don't sing often?
No you loose it through holes in your pockets.
Why have I just received a birthday card? (it's not my birthday - months ago)
It is your birthday according to my calendar... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Why do people send birthday cards?
Keeps the card fairy in business.
Aren't we supposed to ask serious questions in here?
well that depends on your level of seriousness!
Where when is beer-thirty?
On the other side of the world
Why can't I keep my eyes open?
because they are taped shut
Why is it raining in Sydney?
Because Thor is crying.
Why do I find deep red so appealing to look at?
Because you are a vampire!
Where has the rum gone?
Straight into the Burnett River.
What's the difference between an Elephant?
None that are known of. Elephants have never been seen to have differences with themselves. They do have differences between each other though, it has been observed that they are constantly bickering with each other, especially in Zoo's.
Why is it still bloody raining here?
Cos the Queen ordered it.... blame her. If not, blame Blair. (I'd say Gordon, but he hasn't f-ed up yet)
Why is my shoulder hurting?
Midochlorians eating you from the inside out.
Why did school have to start back so early.
Cos it's good for ya
Why are politicians such bores?
To make you zone out while they announce their plan for world domination, and still vote for them.
Why does the new pokemon take so long to beat?
Cos its aiming for world domination
Why do people play video games?
To make friends with the robots before the great uprising happens.
why is my dad such a hard ass?
So that you'll stop making friends with robots.
Why am I so scared abt ordering my first broadband access?
Because you don't have access to any of the Gates fortune (or is that too close to the truth to be a real answer...)
Why does the tooth fairy only come when you lose milk teeth and not in later life when you've had your teeth kicked out?
Cos it doesn't wanna get involved in the brawl...
Why does skin itch even without mosquitos around?
It's practising for their arrival
It's 8am, why am I so sad as to in the office already?
It's not 8am anymore so you should be finishing up now.
Why can't I play WeeWar? and why cant I access it on my PS3?
Because you do not have the right security clearance
Why is it Wednesday?
Because Tuesday was missed.
Why do my feet come in slightly different sizes?
To keep the earth in alignment
If MT is Monday, Tuesday; is Wednesday, Thursday, Friday WTF?
Only on Mars
Way is it so hot today?
On Mars?
It's hot on Mars simply because there are no parasols, airco or buildings to stand behind in the shade
If all the people in the world were to die together who would go to their funerals?
(Surely the question is would there actually be any funerals. Who'd bury them?)
The Martians who, appear to be looking for a place to stay. With shade.
If everyone left the planet on space ships taking food, supplies and equipment with them, by how much would it change the earth's mass and therefore it's gravity? Enough to disturb it's orbit?
That would depend on the type of equipment and supplies they took with them. For example if evry group of 4.2 people were to take enough copper piping (including solder, joints and fixings) to plumb up a new home then that would be considerably different to them taking the alternative plastic ones. If they were also to take other fixtures and fittings made from traditional materiels (the copper piping and say, a steel bath instead of fibre-glass for example plus hot water tank etc) then it is likely that enough of the heavy metals on the earth would be removed to cause a significant change of mass. You's also have to consider other stuff other than plumbing materiels. The space-ships. What would they be constructed from? Would they have tons of uranium for their nuclear power plants and so on... Food. If you take live food, such as cattle, the grazing meadows would have to be enormous to support them and then there is the fields for growing crops. The variables to consider here are quite numerous and highly complex. The question does not offer enough detail to give a precise answer.
What is the recipe for disaster and is it better to cook it with gas or electric?
(that' was an actual answer)
Disaster: cook with fart gas.
Did the ancient Greeks discover "Greek Fire" or just name it?
yes, but changed the name from it's original name Grease Fire.
What is going on in my head?
On the basis that you are female and that if I could answer that question you might suppose that I would be able to discover what was going on in the female mind in general. That would make me very rich. I'm not rich so it figures that the activities within your mind are quite private to you.
Why did the teddy-bears have their picnic in the woods?
Seeing stuffed toys eating would be shocking, so they had to hide.
Where are my silver cufflinks?
Hiding from your dog
Why are people so abrasive?
This is only since the time of Jesus so it is a recent evolutionary thing. When people start to get towards the age where they need to start work something strange happens to their skin and it becomes naturally abrasive. Evolution, it has been shown, can take place through physical or mental changes and the stories of Jesus have been rammed down the throats of the supposed "Christian world" for the last 2000 odd years. Since he was a Carpenter, it stood to reason that having a part of your body evolve to become a ready-made tool would be a good idea. So it's simply your skin becoming like sand-paper (a tool used by all Carpenters). Eventually the evolution "rubbed off" to the rest of humanity...
How did Vin Diesel get his name?
Dates back from that fateful night when his parents woke up the next day and couldn't remember where all that vin (fr) and diesel went.
Why isn't the same emergency number used worldwide?
Because what is emergency here is not the same as an emergency there.
Why can't I ever win a underwater basket weaving contest?
Because you lack the extra set of thumbs.
Why is my auntie taking so long to get here?
Because she doesn't really wanna go there, so she's taking extra small steps.
Why are sports commentators so irritating?
It's their contribution to the fight against global warming. If we all turn the sound down on our TVs, we will save on power consumption.
Why do we have ten fingers and thumbs, or ten toes?
No, we only have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs
Why is Jenna from Survivor Borneo so familiar to me?
Because she used to be your best friend in prison.
And the toes?
10 toes balance your head out, so you can stand
What cures fever?
Cheese.
Where are my false teeth?
They've gone on a date with your toupee.
What's up with the stupid late night quiz shows on tv??
They are there to keep the stupid unemployed people in the East quiet at night. We don't get them in the West. ("Cross the Nullabor!! You know it makes sense!!")
Why do DVDs come with deleted scenes, instead of just putting them back in?
So that people will use the neglected arrow buttons on their remotes.
What will the APEC leader wear in Sydney?
Speedo's
Why is it September already?
Because the AFL season has to end sometime.
Why is it every Wednesday night, on Channel 7 during "The Unit" does the signal drop out for about a minute.? (It's as regular as clockwork.)
Hah! you've sussed the secret of the clockwork. "The Unit" will never be the same again...
Why is it that airoplanes have wings of some sort?
So that they can wave at you as they pass.
Is it possible to die of suffocation on a bus?
Yes, especially if you put a poly bag over your head and seal it round your neck.
If the Devil wears Prada, what does God wear?
God wears Target.
Why am I losing my voice when I barely talk?
It's back to that evolution thing again. You don't exercise your vocals and your body thinks that you've stopped needing them. Eventually you'll lose the ability to talk. - Which would give you a major attribute towards being a perfect woman 
I can't access the "Last Post" thread. Why am I not concerned?
It's that evolution thing again. You are no longer concerned, which indicates that your failure to use the Last Post thread has caused you to lose the ability to do so, and so you will soon lose the will to win, and soon after, the will to live. You are not concerned because you are suffering DNA restructuring. You should be concerned otherwise you may soon be dead. See a good doctor.
Did any of that make any sense?
Amazingly enough, it did!
What evolutionary process would a man have to go thru to become perfect?
Er... you've got us on that one Dek, I can't think of anything...
Why don't you have to be good at art to draw your curtains?
haha become women deck but keep the "important" parts for reproduction
Is mister right out there?
Yes. Very out there. Next life supporting planetary system over.
What causes head lice?
Dead scalp skin cells mutate into head lice when you sleep too much.
Does the justice system work?
only if your name is justine or justin.
How often do you have to shower?
Once every few millinia.
Why isnt Gaia working?
Poor qualifications and little experience.
If too much T V really is bad for your eyes, why in the infotech age are we not all blind?
We're getting there; you're just impatient.
Why so i sleep all day?
Cos you're awake all night.
What cures boredom?
Why Tangler of course
How long till Beer-thirty?
Beer-thirty has been cancelled due to APEC. It has been deemed a security risk
Why is the Cookie Monster blue?
He's permanently choking on one.
What does the future hold?
It holds frozen peas.
Why can't the weather decide if it wants to rain or shine?!
If you were where I am you wouldn't have to ask - it's already made it's mind up to rain!
Why do we say that someone has fallen when they become ill. Surely not everyone falls over?
No, they just fall into bed (or in my cause, onto the couch)
Why is 'into' used when saying fall into bed?
because "out of" would hurt
Why does my throat feel like sand paper and my voice has disappeared?
Your throat feels like sand paper because it is hungry. Your voice has disappeared because it has gone to get some sand paper for your throat.
Why am I continually tired of the carrying out the tasks required as part of my employ but wont do anything to change?
Because you're a Queensland-er.
Why are the Scottish so contemptuous?
Because they wish they were Qld'ers
How long will the rain last?
Depends how much time between now and the year 2015.
Hasifdnvmffmefdkdnvfdfnfdmhfcxuflervdmfxhfjdklak?
Difficult to say either way.
Now it's stopped, when will it rain again?
Vdsrljenkjrdsfesfdhfkjdhfkdyvfeolrwjkraakeqoxoydhaliyeaiz...
How do you spell retard?
w311 u 57r7 w/ @ R th3n u @dd @n 3 th3n.... 5h17 1 d0n7 kn0w
how many hippopotamusses fit into a hypotenuse?
8 1/2
What is a tangent?
A gentleman with a suntan.
Where has this year gone?
It had a breakdown and had to be shut away in one of those 'health spa' places *wink wink*
Why am I so hungry?
because youre hungarian
why cant i have a sandwich right now?
because the sandwich fairies sad no.
Why did I wear a skirt today?
Cos the ants ate your pants.
Where do coffee beans come from?
- Proton
- Neutron
- Bonbon
- Electron
The same place babies do.
Which of the following is the odd one out?
Proton - cos it's positive
That's neither a question nor an answer. The answer is Futon.
What is my cock size?
hmmmm.... looks like 70x75 pixels?
What is John Robie's latest obsession?
Large birds with fowl names.
Will I graduate?
You surely meant to ask - "Will my graduation be a first or minor first"?
Why do tables have flat tops?
Because it was once a cool haircut.
Will all be forgiven?
Only if its not forgotten.
How many chickens??
345677433221
Which is better, Jazz or blues?
I could pick a side out of the Camp Hill pub to beat the Blues, so I'll go with Jazz.
What are you going to take to Davo's 40th birthday gig?
40 frogs of course!
Why won't my brain work to finish this last assignment?
it went to watch the Melbourne Cup
Who cares abt the Cup?
Everyone in America does.
Where is everybody?
Watching the Cup.
Who is everybody?
You really want to know a lot don't you..
Why is Moby a Dick?
Because Incontinentia is a pair of buttocks.
Cheezburger gnomes!
Why don't I want to concentrate in class?
Cos you're dilute
Why are office building roofs flat?
because feeling trapped in a box is FUN!!!!!!
How long until the world ends from insanity?
It's a life sentence.
Where's the effort needed to think of a question gone?
Hiding in a cave.
Can I have more pizza?
Not unless you pay the new pizza tax.
Will Steve Jobs mind if I load a cracked version of OS X on my HP laptop?
Of course not. As long as you don't use windows, he's happy.
(hmmm... maybe that's not a wrong answer)
Was that a wrong answer I gave 5thWall?
Only if you have a cracked window. Then you need to call O'Brien Glass.
Is Mr Howard's spending spree irresponsible?
Nah, money was made to be spent.
Should one vote?
No, one should get ones butler to do it for one.
If USB is a port why isn't there enough room for a regular container ship?
You need the special HMAS for that....
Why is white wine not white?
because it's been "peeed in"
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Shave one eyebrow and tie him nude to a telegraph pole.
Why do eggs taste better in the morning?
Cos that's when they bloom.
Why am I so listless today?
because you couldn't find a pen.
Why is it raining?
Cos the little cloud people were watering their plants.
Why are bad films still made?
Because we all like to waste 2 hours of our lives!
Why am I addicted to Diet Coke?
Because it's Cheaper than heroin.
Why does time seem to go so slowly?
Cos the world around you is moving so fast.
Why do we miss people?
Because if we kept hitting them there would be none left to shoot at.
What's a number between 1 and 100?
and
What are LOL cats?
Beats me...LOL
Where is Wally?
Hiding under my couch
Who is Wally?
He's a gherkin
What's wrong with using Google?
I can never remember the url
What's the big deal about Google?
It has a silly name.
What the hell is that meant to be?
It's an emoticon being kidnapped.
Why do we say 'what the hell'?
Ask Old Harry, he might know why.
When you "Chalk something up" have you ever written it on a chalk board?
You're not supposed to write something. You're supposed to throw a piece of chalk up on the roof.
Why does chalk make that sound on a blackboard?
It has musical inclinations.
Why am I so difficult?
You're actually dead easy, but you like to fool the world into thinking you're difficult.
Why does multi-tasking give me such a rush?
Thats just the over-stimulation of the midochlorians in your bloodstream.
Why was I gone so long?
Because the internet moves slowly.
Why isn't coffee working for me today?
If it didn't work for the Internet, why the hell would it work for you? (<-- Answer and Question)
Caffeine tolerance.
Where have all the good heroes gone?
They got sick of constantly having to bail humans out of trouble, and moved to the moon.
Where are all the bad heroes?
They were forced off the moon when the good heroes moved on to it, and decided to try and destroy all humans... and John Robie.
Why doesn't that make me laugh?
Cos you broke your funny bone. I laughed, which means mine is intact.
Why is my left palm itching so badly?
Because you planted it to the left of the other palm but to the right of the Poison Ivy.
WTF was that ?
a reindeer
Why are they showing chrismassy movies on tv now??
Because it's Australia....why else?
Why is Ruski a close personal friend of Kevin Rudd?
That's too hard to answer, especially as he doesn't like fish.
Why is some of the western world further east than some of the eastern world?
It really depends on which way 'round you are going.
What ever happened to Holden M.Caulfield? Didn't we recruit him yet?
He got lost in a hot air balloon.
What is fire actually made of?
Soot.
Why do people have lawns when the only thing they're good for is giving the mower a work out every two weeks??
If you use beer instead of water on the lawn it comes up half cut - then you only have to get the mower out once a month
Has anyone ever had a "shadow in a box"? I ask this because quite a few people talk about "shadow boxing" and I wondered if anyone had ever managed to do it?
The only thing you'll find in a box is a shadow treasurer
Will chlorophyll turn you green?
If you smoke too much.
Will carrots turn you orange?
Yes, but only after you've turned green.
Why aren't there many round buildings?
Because squares are the new circles.
For whom is it that the bone bones?
From themselves.
Why are the sun green? xD
Cos red plus yellow = purple
Why does my lappie get so hot?
Beacuse your neighbour put it on fire
*ahem*
^ coughing from the ensuing smoke?
Question please Natanael....hence the "ahem"
Why do the best opportunities/things happen to me at the worst or most inconvenient possible times?
Because The Power Is Wih You á la Star Wars
Why am I the best member here?
Because dekrazee1 was found guilty of drug violation and sentenced to 500 hours of community service... (XXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDD)
...wasn't she?
Probably was... she can't remember...
Why don't humans melt on a hot day like today?
According to Modern English, you have to stop the world first.
Why does the orange super jumbo crayon always break before the green?
Because yellow has been hacking away at it when they're packed away
What kind of a name is Rebound Ace?
A semi-unexisting one.
Why are you dark as coal?
Because we're all made of Carbon
Why is New Year's so soon after Christmas?
Because it wanted to be closer than Valentines Day.
Why does my iPod keep freezing?
Cos it doesn't have a sweater...
Why is it hotter now at 7 pm than it was at 12pm?
Because I decided so.
Why are we all beta testing geeks? (I know that at least I am
)
Cos they don't let us test alphas
Why do we have a day off on 1st Jan?
Do we? Why am I at work then?
Cos that's what you do on your days off
dek lacked a question in her message. Does that mean the game's over?
Dammit.... I was lead astray by JR's single sentence
Why are there so many types of bowling?
Because they wanted you to ask.
Why is this question the best one ever?
Cos it made Techmeme.
Why is my CPU at 100%??
It isn't anywhere near 100%. Task Manager is sponsored by Intel and it shows that to make you believe you need to upgrade. (actually that's probably true!)
Why does it seem so long ago since I had a holiday?
Because it "so long ago" = "5 years ago".
Why is tangler still in beta?
Cos it aint fixed yet.
Have I got skin cancer?
Stop 58 men at random and ask them. If they all say no the chances are you have it.
If the sun shines out of someones arse does that mean it goes dark when they put their pants on?
Yes.
Am I the best person you have met?
You're the only person I have met.
Why do people keep asking me what I have planned??
Because you smell funny.
Why did the weird thing with the tail wet himself?
Because some of us can't be arsed looking at the link provided. So it's upset.
Can a man ever understand a woman?
Only if a woman is speaking Klingon.
Are you my grandma?
Yes, because I feel like it. I feel like being and doing many things.
Are you intelligent?
when im not wasting it on tangler
why havent i gotten my sandwich yet?
Cos Tangler doesn't serve food.
Why was a bottle of Coke more expensive than a cup of chips at the cricket today?
Because it started living and smashed a bunch of stuff and then it died, so they tried to get the money for the smashed stuff from you.
Why does my questions rule?
Because the question I answering makes so small sense, it made them looks normal.
Recite the last question you posted on this topic... in Hindi... please?
Why was a bottle of Coke blah blah blah? (I almost gave the right answer there! Phew!)
Why do my plants die after one day of not watering, but take 4-5 days of constant watering to come alive?
Because sunlight is your enemy.
I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
Miao!
Why are Sundays so sleepy?
Because Saturdays sucks the energy out of you.
Why are my PC sooo slow!?
Because you watch too much Joost. (I don't know, that might actually be the correct answer.)
Can a match box?
No, but a box can match.
Since banks have branches, why aren't their HQs called root?
Because it would give away the fact that when you walk into one you will come out financially rooted.
What is your favourite bank fee?
The one where I have to pay to get my own money back
Why isn't alcohol numbing the pain?
Because listening to people talk rubbish is always a pain
Why does the drinks machine only dispense either the chosen drink or the cup?
Because they are made by men that can't do more than one thing at the same time.
"Because you watch too much Joost" - I don't, but I want to...
Why does IE7 suck?
Because it can't bite
Why am I so hungry today?
Because your stomach has a hangover.
Why else?
Because so.
Why did I ask this?
Cos you only talk in questions.
Why has my typing suddenly gone bad?
How else will your pointing get sharper?
enhanced radioactivity
why are my hands cold?
Cos you shirt has cut of blood supply to them.
Why is it so unbearably humid here?
Because you're sweating too much.
Why am
Well if it isn't anything else it's always an am what's responsible for all that stuff.
Why isn't it unbearably humid in here...?
Cos the walls of the buildings have been absorbing all the moisture
Why is three a crowd?
Because that's what the laws says. Oh, wait - it's supposed to be errenous!
It's because the aliens decided that ... Uhmm... I don't remember...
Why does the aliens not like me?
Cos you defeated them in battle 100 years ago.
Why is 4 hours of sleep not enough?
Because then they aliens would defeat me when I'm tired.
Why does Tangler rule?
Cos it won the elections
Why don't aeroplanes flap their wings like birds?
Because they're "hang-gliding".
Why are Tangler named Tangler?
Tangler was conceived and founded by the late Edmund "Tangler" Sassbottom, the infamous Australian wallaby wrestler. Edmund earned his nickname in 1983 when he wrestled 37 separate wild animals in consecutive matches, including 11 species of wallabies, a kangaroo, a platypus and a camel. His record in the matches was 29-8 and was not surpassed until Lillian "Rattler" Flatnostril ran a record of 32-7 against a lineup featuring crocodiles, peacocks and three-toed sloth.
Sassbottom entered the computer industry following a terrific accident in 1989 when attempting to parachute with a live ferret in his trousers resulting in the loss of one foot. Edmund showed an unexpected talent for business and managed to stay ahead of the curve and his competitors with unlikely titles such as "Word Processing for Shepherds", "Outback Defragging" and "World of WallabyCraft".
Eventually Sassbottom recognized the huge potential of Web 2.0 and social networking sites and conceived Tangler. As is common in programming circles, he died of a caffeine overdose following a marathon coding session in 2005. Our own dekrazee1 picked up the torch and made sure that Edmund's vision would not die with him.
Are zebras black with white stripes or white with black stripes?
No, they are yellow and golden!
Am I swedish?
Because your ancestors were meatballs.
How come tangler doesnt work at home?
Because home is where the heart is
Why is it so calm after the storm?
Because the clouds gets sleepy.
Why are my balcony green?
No, you are Kazahkstani.
What is the square route of -635?
2
Why do people have hyphenated names?
Because I ate the spaces.
Why are 6805+8690386903=467062784078/64060?
Because science doesn't work.
Why is Jay Leno evil?
Beacuse David Letterman got sick of it and tagged Jay.
Why are the word "are" the word "are", and not the word "is"?
because its fooly cooly
why am i so confused lately
Because you're letting all this Tangling get too deep into your head.
Do you think Kubuntu 7 is better than Mac OS X Leopard and Windows Vista combined?
XP is King!
Why do flowers flower?
Because boughs can bow.
QIGABIADFHKSAJKAFGKBFJAWKGIFHQBGIUASGBJGEYURGWAAWAUFJKQTGJMQYUWR?!!!!
Becasue you have metal in yout fingers and magnets in the keyboard.
Varför förstår ni inte vad jag skriver nu utan att använda babelfish? :P
ERROR
Your language is not recognised by InsaneTranslator. This parser only contains English, Spanish, Greek and Japanese dictionaries. To have more dictionaries installed, contact your system administrator.
Draw this formula using a math renderer: f(x,y) = (πx^3)y
___^--------->..........
What do Nananael and InsaneGuy have in common?
We're both expressible as the sum of two cubes.
Why do I need more time to think?
Beacuse your CPU are at 500 Mhz.
Why are my laptop great?
Because it's not a Dell. XD
What do Windows XP and Fedora Core 8 have in common?
They both have nonsensical names.
Why is heavy rain so noisy?
Because refrigerators are whisper quiet.
Are you fat? Explain your answer.
I'm skinny becasue next to whale I look skinny.
Why does the sun belong to me?
because you're just that awesome
why was i so tired today?
Because you listened to the President's Weekly Radio Address.
Why the hell did I know about that?
Because your ears are extremely large.
Why does Windows Vista suck?
Vienna is the future. No-one wants Vista anymore.
Why did I only just figure out that my processor is Hyper-Threading enabled, yet I haven't had HT turned on until now?
Cos your processor can keep a secret
Why are there so many techy questions?
Because the whole world is mecha
why does itunes suck so much?
Because it loves your vacuum cleaner.
Why does Songbird pWn4g3s iTunes even though it's still only v.0.4?
Because iTunes is bad English.
Why do fan blades rotate clockwise?
They only rotate clockwise in the southern hemisphere. They don't rotate at all on the equator and that's why it's so hot there.
Why is it that clouds are various shades from pure whit through to nearly black when the water they are made of is not white, nearly black or any shade in between...
ROTFLOL!
Because of that the tornadoes told them to not be invisible and they were to afraid to refuse.
Why won't the "Last Post" topic die?
Because it's eternal, like light and darkness. I tried to kill it once, but it defeated me, since it's powerful as well.
only when a smooth talker like you does, you big pussy you.
Why are pineapples not apple shaped?
they are. your brain just cannot comprehend the shapeliness of it
why am i tired even though i slept most of the day?
Because your left ear are way too heavy.
Why do I love beta testing?
Cos you broke up with Alpha
Why does Hollywood make crap movies?
Because they have too many trash cans there.
Why does Vista hate me?
I wouldn't feel unique about the feeling that Vista hates you. Vista hates everyone...
Why is it that Mrs Dent pays £300 for an item of clothing, wears it once and then hangs it in a wardrobe for a couple of years before giving it to a Charity Shop.
because she's ballin
Why is my ear ringing?
Cos your toe is calling.
Is an unscripted advertisement the same as a regular advertisement?
If 4^7*(2-Pi) = -12543.5270955
Why does Python beat VisualBasic?
One kills you by venom, the other by overloading your brain with an obsolete programming language. The venom is quicker, more economic and less painless.
Why did I just install my EyeToy as a webcam?
Because it was tired of being a gaming accessory
Why did a guy just walk out of my store in pyjamas?
Cos he couldn't find any crutches
Why am I feeling so lazy?
not enough coffee in your diet. an good 40oz a minute outta do.
why do i keep having ear related pain?
Cos you ear is revolting... it's sick of being on the side of your head.
Why do I keep having shoulder pains?
They hate your arms.
Why
Pea.
Where does the light in the refrigerator go?
a small New Zealand farmer carries a torch around and shines it on what you're looking for
why do things keep exploding in the suburb I work in?
Because chickens are dangerous.
Why did I hear that explosion from three suburbs away?
Because you borrowed Supermans ears.
Why does I love asking questions like this?
Because the square root of Pi is equal to the volume - in square centimeters - of Ununbium a spoiled godberry makes in five seconds.
What can you compare the flavor of a fresh godberry to? (Godberries are only poisonous when they're spoiled, and they stay fresh for a whole year)
A fresh godberry. (Godberry rhymes with godberry, so it makes perfect sense.)
The Last Post topic is finally dead. (At least I hope. 
) Any reason in particular why?
Because AGF = AGZ + 5.
Anyone interested in hanging a spleen?
dek might be.
Do lonely men really die early?
yep. nice knowing you.
why is my school so gay (and not in a good way)?
Because you're there. (You asked, so I answered! xD)
Why am I going to win "Last Post"?
Because you already lost "First Post".
What do you get when you multiply the square root of a fluxnarf by the square of an inner sanctum?
a circle branch
Why does my bank keep making up charges to add to my accounts?
Cos they're blood sucking leeches. (Ok, maybe that isn't entirely inaccurate. So sue me)
Why don't people just boycott banks?
Because they are more stupid than a snail.
Why is this fun?
Because the mouse running in the wheel in your head says so
however shall I amuse myself tomorrow during my day off?
By creating a private forum an spamming it.
Why are my sister ennoying sometimes?
Because my sister taught her everything she knew.
Why is my sister called Moo-Cow? I personally think she should be called InsaneGirl.
Because she wants to annoy you.
Why can't I come up with better questions than this one right now?
Becasue the tanks blew your brain away.
Why is a banana?
Because a pineapple.
AEAWEOIVAWNRIUAWHK VSAYNRAWORAWRMVJAW(RWAOQNMTGO*&AAIHFIEL??!!!!!!!!!!
/&=`)()=(=)¤/"(&¤"()&!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does Dek knows what this meant?
Cos she lives in your head and can make you believe that she knows what that means.
Why is my neighbour playing his car sound system so loudly at 11pm?
It's not his fault. He actually fancies you like mad. However someone where you work has convinced him that you find loud, irritating music to be a turn-on.
Is an orange named from the colour or is the colour named from the orange?
LOL @ Arthur!!! Damn, that's funny
They're both named after the god Orange, who was actually more yellow than red
Which is the lesser of two evils - chocolate cake or vanilla ice cream?
Mrs Dent has informed me that there is no evil in either of those foods.
So if orange was named from the god orange, what about tangerine?
That was named after his daughter, who had an orange hue in her cheeks.
Why isn't there a computer god?
Because he got a bug and died.
Why is there a wine god?
Assuming that you mean the drink and not the Windows emulator, there is no wine god... anymore. <.< >.>
Why is KDE 4 so cool?
Because it supports Compiz Fusion.
Why is Compiz Fusion so cool?
Because its not you (lol payback).
Why wont it stop snowing?
Beacuse the sun is on annual leave
What is a juggalo?
bluekatana's nose.
Why is Bush stupid?
Because he's your twin brother.
How did I forget how much I love Green Day?
Because they changed their name to Black Night.
Why does it snow?
Because the Snow Man says it must snow. Snow there!
If money is kept in a purse, why can't you get money from your lips when you purse them.
Because bleukatana put something on them that you don't want on your lips.
Why is it fun to "mess around" like that?
Because your parents told you not to.
why didn't i sleep last night?
Because we talked all night.
Why is "Recent Activity" orange?
because blue was busy.
why is water wet?
Because your oesophagus is dry.
What was that just flying over me? It looked like it was crash-landing.
that was just your brain on drugs.
why are smiley faces yellow?
Because they are from Asia.
Why are some smilies not yellow?
they were treated for the jaundice.
why is the eiffel tower in paris?
Because Madrid didn't want it.
Why do I like beta testing?
because you aren't good enough for alpha.
why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
because they're a lot more friendly than hornets
why dont my flatmates ever buy toilet paper?
Cos they assume it grows on trees.
Why is it that so many comedy shows aren't funny at all?
Because they come from a different universe.
Why are dogs barking on cars?
Cos it's hard to bark at a car from under it
Why are there more weeds than plants in my backyard?
because you grow marajuana (i'm calling the cops).
why is is mars red?
Because Uranus is going through a phase.
Who does that?
i do.
when will i be loved?
When the seventeenth day of Flarg passes on your home planet.
Have you ever tried using a sniper rifle to point-blank someone?
No, but I know an Australian Prime Minister who has.
Knock, knock! Who's there?
You!
When did this become fun?
when i joined the game.
what is the square root of pi?
the equvalent of √pizza
why is there no square root button on the keyboard?
because you've sinned and the keyboard gods want you to suffer.
why are spiders creepy?
Becasue they are blue.
Why are some people weird?
they aren't............ you are.
why are robin's eggs blue?
Because they love your nose.
Why am I a geek?
because geek is the new cool.
why do i love bread so much?
___________________________________
*continued in new topic*
