I can stop my fingernails from growing

Grant the person above you a useless power. Generally 'cool' powers can be made useless by making them very specific.

I grant drdec the ability to talk to grass. 

Cool.  I grant 5thWall the ability to avoid unwanted visitors on fifth Tuesdays in February.

You have the ability to fly only where and when nobody can see you.

I grant bluekatana the ability to stretch her nose ten times its original length.

5thWall can walk through walls as long as a usable door already exists

you can turn invisible only when you are alone.

You have x-ray vision, but it only lets you see skeletons

I grant dek the power to cure hiccups in mice!

I grant you the power to cure cancer, but it wont take effect until two years after theres a cure already out.

I grant bluekatana the power to post the last post in a game

I grant callkathy the ability to know the exact meal someone ate last by smelling their breath.

I grant 5th Wall the ability to erect a 5th wall anywhere he wants

I grant dek the power to detect the amount of money in a tramp's pockets

I grant John the ability to recognise slippers

I grant dek the power to stop cross topic contamination.

( I can already recongnise slippers) Yerself

I grant john the ability to only recall facts I tell him

I grant dek the power to apply make-up by pure thought. to others.

Excellent! I like that one!

I grant john the power to grow his hair instantly

I grant dek the ability to fly. But only when surrounded by a metal tube with long arms attached to it and a sort of tail thingy.

i grant john the ability to talk to spanish dogs in french

I grant Riot the amazing ability to find perfect wives and girfriends (soul mates) for Popes.

I grand john the ability to grant useless powers to people that post before him.

I grant chapel the power to conjure fire out of nowhere and onto the head of a match

I grant Super-King the power to crown people lightly with a stick without getting caught at it.

I grant callkathy the ability to read the minds of the ten most boring people on Earth.

I grant drdec the power to change the shape of clouds

I grant dekcrazee1 the power to solve riddles in threads where the winner has already been declared.

BTW, I really like the collection of powers I am building up.

I grant grdec every power granted to someone else. I grant it in such a way that its strength is in inverse proportion to its usefulness. (After all, you do seem to be collecting them anyway.)

I grant callkathy the ability to live in Arizona

I grant john robie the ability to cause ants to fall in love.

drdec gets the unatural power to, with the force of his bare hands, morph the shape of clay from one miraculous position to another

If you cut out all the dramatic words, I'm giving you the ability to play with mud 

I grant SK the power to create tofu using only his mind at the rate of 3 cc/min

I grant 5thWall the only power that makes sense with the screen name: The power to talk to the audience!

I grant cathy the ability to see thru computer screens

I grant de the power to transform into a fish, but only on land.

I grant chapel the ability to impersonate bugs

I grant dek the power to claim the dole but only when employed.

I grant john robie the power to grant useless powers.

I grant dek the power to claim the dole but only when employed.

If you could do that without getting into legal trouble it would be useful - extra income

anyway, drdec, you can have the power to not have any powers (if you choose to exercise it, who knows what the ramifications of the paradox will be)

I grant Super-King the power to draw all the paparrazzi in the world to a single spot so that they really are a super king!

I grant callkathy the power to make other people's ears tingle for less than half a second

(oooh my ea.....! Er....no. No, it's nothing) 

I grant drdec the power to raise the dead before they die.

I grant you the power to hear mute people

I grant you the power to see only the things that are there.

Its a sort of useful power.. too many people are wrapped up with things that aren't there

I grant you the power to hear people that arent talking to you.

I grant bluekatana the power to always select the correct level of insurance for other people.

I grant drdec the ability to be a doctor of dec

I grant dek the power to project pink spots of various sizes onto walls.

I grant Monty the power to cut grass.

I grant john the power to pile it all together in a heap

I grant dek the power of **MULCH!**

I grant john the power to swap peoples powers around.

I grant Monty the power to detect tyre pressures

Oooh, is than in PSI or Bar? and what sort of range does it have?

You now have the power to sneeze with your eyes open. 

Yippee!!! I've always wanted to do that!

You have the power to make people's hair stand on end

Awwww I wanted that one!

I grant Dek the power to know the thoughts of shoelaces. 

I grant jr the power of detecting twigs

I grant dek the power to perfectly apply WhiteOut.

Hrrrmph! I can already do that!

I grant 5thwall the power to return disfigured rings back to a perfect circle

I grant dek the power to see the colour of her own iris.

I grant jr the power to know the temperature of his toes

I grant dek the power detect things she walks into in the dark.

Is that before or after she walks into them?

I grant john robie the power of perfect horse and buggy driving. 

Just in the very micro-instant before.

I grant drdec the ability to travel into the future, upto the end of his natural life span. At a speed of 86,400 secconds for each day travelled.

(FYI, I already have that power too)

I grant dekrazee1 the power to have any power or powers of his chosing, on the condition that he never uses them even a little bit

I grant F'Moonhead the power to change his user name.

I grant John to detect when food being baked is ready

Ohhh this power granting thing works..  Didn't expect it.

That, ^^^^,  madam Caffy is spooky. Cos I can really, already, honestly  do that. Honest.

I grant dek the power to know when she has reached the end of the M1 at Staple's Corner by the (very bumpy) road Markings and extra evil speed cameras.

( In which case it is odd we keep giving each other powers we already have....)

I grant jr the power to iron out wrinkles in silk

I grant dek the power.

Woo hoo!!



I grant jr the ability to look good in sunnies

Oh Right, look cos that's like  so cool, cos Iike so do, y'know, I really do, I'm just sunnie cool, i'm like sunning on the telly, I'm so goooood looking.I'm soo ttop gun cooool.

I grant dek NEW POWERS 

New powers =  ?

I granted jr the power to avoid driving over pot holes

In that case, I grant me the power of not living in London or Sydney.

I Grant dek the power of car abandonment 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo

I grant jr the ability to sense when someone is about to message him

Oooooooh that aint working then.

I grant dek the power to strip abandoned cars . 

I grant jr the power to help me sell the parts when I'm done

I grant dek the power to kik-ass

I grant JR the power to give me powers

I grant FMoonhead the power to sense water in the air.

i grant john the power to clap with one hand.

I grant Monty to clap with the other.

LOL!!

I grant jr the ability to make his toenails laugh

I grant dekrazee1 the ability to blink 50 times per minute

I grant Kaz the ability to understand Aussie slang.

LOL

I grant Miggles the ability to understand 'American'

Funny that ive got American Guests at home! LOL

I grant dekrazee the ability to wield a wand!

I grant Miggles the ability to communicate with unicorns

I grant dekrazee1 the ability to change the TV channel with a wiggle of her little toe

I grant Kaz the ability to use tangler with just her thoughts.

I grant miggles the ablitiy to laugh when anyone says the word chicken

i grant Kazz the ability to change the weather by using her mobile phone

I grant clovar the power to create pizzas from cardboard and thus Pizza Hut will lose their monopoly on this...

I grant Arthur the power to silence sneezes

I grant Kaz the power to shoot spider webs ... to a max length of 6 inches

I grant all contributors to this thread to grant government grants.

*snort*

I grant all *snorts*

*dies of snort*

I grant Nathanael::pureCaffeine the power to change his/her user name under the influence of coffee.

LOL

I grant you guys the power to keep me laughing

I grant Dek the power to produce money from her ear but only in penny form

I grant Kaz the power to make flags fly straight even when there is no wind.

I grant Arthur the power to remotely block the air port in subwoofer cabinets

I can do that already -

I grant Arthur the power to override the purpose of this thread and be able to post a reply ... WITHOUT granting a useless or otherwise power

Apologies for the repetion but I can do that already -

I grant Nat the power to retrospectively grant powers (situation resolved)

I grant Arthur Dent the power to channel function calls while also extending the comment.delete() function to delete through a user proxy ... and thereby clearing up the mess earlier without data integrity issues relating to a user deleting power grants

(is highly confused)

I mean ... deleting own power grantage ... so you're doing it for me, because I can't revoke a power grant

I grant everyone the power to tell me what this game is turning into. That should be useless enough.

I grant JR the power to know how  much trolls cost

I grant Dek the useless power to read just the sector of memory in JR's head where troll pricing is stored

I grant Nathanael ::pureCaffeine the power to shorten his name.

YAY! Finally a power we/I can use!

(Phew! My tired fingers thank you)

I grant Nat the power to play pickaboo with  puppies

I grant dek the power to travel in cartoon vehicles.

I grant JR to increase bladder capacity by 300%

I grant NathanaelB the power to stop hic-ups in hippos

I grant Kaz22 The power to open tins with only your mind (and a tin opener)

I grant JR power to send out invisible waves that jam Kaz's tin-opening powers

I grant Nathaneal the power to grant me a better power than that one

I grant JR the power to corrupt other peoples powers.

I grant Monty the power to scale buildings with a single bound but for only 15 seconds a day!

I grant Kaz22 the power to highlight entries.

I grant myself the power to steal Kaz's power to highlight entries (then realises he can't do that, so gives it back) ... but not before I know what JR said ...

I grant Nat the power not to grant powers to himself. Or steal others. Or ruin my evil plans.

I grant JR the power to prevent his evil plans being ruined

I grant Arthur the power to know (but not thwart) my evil plans.

I grant JR the power to thwart his own evil plans without realizing it.

I grant Monty the power to be called Sir Montague of  Mont  A-Gue

I LIKE IT!!

I grant JR the power to exist in the same space and time as himself.

hahahahaha Howdy Sir Montague!

I grant Sir Montague to call a rose by any other name

I grant dek the power to change the weather with a wish on a shooting star

sneaky!!

hee hee

I grant the (Last Post) backstabbing Kaz22 the power to breath in a vacuum. (Go on, try it you'll find it very useless)

haha I think all pass!  I grant J R the power take things lightly

HaHa. I grant Kaz the power to see mischief making in all it's forms.

I grant JR the power to not revoke any powers he has bestowed. (Unless i say so)

I grant Sir M the power to grant only useful powers there for making him completely obsolete in this game

I grant Kaz the power to read a newspaper underwater

I grant Mr Dent the power to undent dents

I grant dek the power to grant me powers (and be quick about it)

I grant JR the ability to make waiting an hour feel quick

I grant dek the power to grant me powers that override Sir Montague

(does that mean I have to grant it?)

I grant JR the power to override Sir Montague, but only by a fraction

Hang on .....*thinks*......."I grant JR the power to not revoke any powers he has bestowed. (Unless i say so)" (Sir Montague) is a useless power, so I win this one by default.

I grant dek the power to deceive fish.

I grant JR the power to collect dust into piles

I grant dek the power to make cheese string. (see Reuter's topic, trust me it's useless)

I grant JR the power to turn all the people in Perth into pleasant drones

lol

They are. Someone else must have that power...hmmmmmm........

I grant Arthur the power to macrame

Hey! No fair! Double teamed by dek and JR

Actually you undid yourself. (nice graphic)

Umm....i did???

HAHAHAHAHAH

Where do you get these?

Not telling you dek. You sided with JR.

*idea*

I grant dek the power to only grant powers that are beneficial to Sir Montague

I grant Sir Montague powers to grant powers to others but only where they serve me, John Robie ten fold. powers that do not serve me beneficially are invalid.

Hmmm, this is getting tricky.

I grant Sir Montague the power to Jing John Robie everytime he does something selfish.

(@callkathy, So far I haven't been selfish I have been trying to keep the upper classes(Sir Monty) on their toes)

I grant callkathy the power of very, very tiny handwriting.

And what have i done to deserve that?

I don't grant JR any powers because there would be no point.

(Eh?)

I grant Sir Montague the power of even tinier handwriting, than that of callkathy.

I grant JR the power of being the fastest at underwater basket weaving

I grant Kaz the power of 2 to teh power of 2!

@John Robie.  I had to Google "macrame"  Is it part of your evil plans to get me to stab myself with a needle.  I only ask because the power granted for me to see yor evil plans seems to be slipping a bit...

I grant callkathy the power to discover a long lost Celtic dialect and translate the Ging Gang Gooly Scout song into it.

@ Arthur : lol

I grant Arthur Excalibur. If he finds it of course.

Or nicks it off that hippy who likes to, legally apparently (deed poll), call himself "Arthur the once and future King of the Britons"

I'd just like to add it isuseless because it's only going to be just a big very rusty iron knife, at best.

Also useless cos the nu-cu-lear stuff will get you first

The ability to turn diet soda into regular.

Useless enough?

hahaha Actually, I think that's useful! Diet soda tastes soooo bad.

I would like the ability to switch mobile phones into silent mode

hmmm... maybe that's not that useless

I grant Dek the power to tell when a ant dies from 500 miles away.

OH that would be so horrible....there are over a billion ants anywhere!!

I grant Nat the ability to draw Da Vinci-style masterpieces in invisible ink!

I grant Morgan the ability to get cricket fans to sit down

I grant Dek the ability to be weird whenever she wants.

HAHAHAHAHAH @ Dek!!!!

I grant Nat the ability to untangle string on cloudy days

I grant morgan the ability to shape clouds into shapes

I grant Dek the ability to talk to stones.

I grant Natanael the power to manipulate his own thoughts

I grant bluekatana the power to spot spider webs

I grant dek the ability to tell the difference between the "blueish yellow" and "yellowish blue".

I grant Natanael the ability to make wine warm

I grant Dek the ability to hold her breath for one more second than she already could.

I grant nat the power to make ice cream melt in winter

I grant Morgan the ability to change the name of stars that no other human have discovered yet.

I grant Natanael the ability to spot birds on roofs

I grant Dek the ability to tell when Paris Hilton is about to show up on the TV. (Or is that useful?)

That's extremely useful! I can turn the tv off before that!

I grant Natanael the power to drain batteries of their power

That's useful too!

I grant dek the ability to tell who will win the election of year 2080 without being believed.

I grant Nat the power to straighten picture frames with his eyes

I grant blue the ability to make leaves fall from trees

I grant dek the power to make glue stick to paper

I grant bluekatana the power to switch name every 10 seconds.

I grant Natanael the power to change avatars every day

I grant Dek the power to know when I'm drinking a nice hot cup of coffee.

I grant Sir M the ability to convince people coffee is better than tea

I grant Dek the ability to be green when it's dark.

I grant Natanael the ability to whistle with dry lips

I grant Dek the ability to always be able to come up with new useless powers whenever she wants.

I grant Nat the ability to wiggle his toe nails

I grant Dek the ability to grant weird wishes.

i grant nat the ability to feel his hair grow.

(i hope i'm not repeating an ability already posted, it's a long thread)

I grant bluegirl the ability to tell exactly how many FPS the BlueGene super computer would get on every game that's out there.

I grant Natanael the ability to find channels running rerun comedies

I grant dek the ability to detect whenever my sister are ennoying. You don't want that.... xD

i grant natanael the ability to hear a coin drop on the other side of the world.

I grant bluegirl the ability to win on all online games ever that don't keep score and that don't get you any real-world money.

i grant natanael the ability to detect the secret ingredient of any fast-food recipe.

I grant bluegirl the ability to know how many chocolate chips there are in a muffin

i grant dekrazee the ability to know what someone had for breakfast.

I grant bluegirl the ability to predict when the next plane from Sydney to Heathrow is coming.

I grant Insane the ability to look at a field and know what size it is.

I grant Dek the power to change the direction her blood flows.

I grant bluegirl the power to perfectly weight out a teaspoon of water.

I grant Jason the ability to escape from a shopping mall

I grant dekrazee the power to predict how long a bic pen will last.

i grant jason the ability to when his siblings are awake, no matter where they are.

I grant bluegirl the ability to memorise action movie dialogues

I grant Bluegirl the ability to reread her postings carefully before she sends them, as not to leave out any important words.

I grant Jason the ability to predict when computer bugs, errors and warnings will appear without ever being able to prevent them. (Firefox alone generates +100 "hidden" bugs, related to bad design in web sites, daily when I'm surfing arund.)

I grant natenael the ability to burb in any musical key.