Well, how do we play?

Patience is a virtue...

I was typing the rules up while you made your post...  >_>

I'm not sure if this FBG already exists in this forum, but here are the rules:

1. You make a wish
2. The next person grants it, but there's a side-effect that he/she posts.  The next person then posts a wish, in the same post.

For example...

(Player 1): I wish I had $100.
(Player 2): You get the equivalent of $100, in Japanese Yen.  I wish I had a stereo.
(Player 3): The stereo doesn't come with batteries or a power cord.  I wish my computer could store 5 terabytes of data.

And so on...

I'll start us off: I wish I had a magic sword.

The sword will not leave your hand until you defeat an opponent in battle or a challenge.

I wish my cat could talk.

Your cat can only talk in Icelandic.

I wish I could teleport

You can only teleport once every 48 hours, and then only to a maximum range of 200m.

I wish I had a supercomputer.

You get one, but it it gets all emo on you and destroys the world

I wish I had someone to cook for me

You get food poisoning every meal

I wish i had a 30gig Zune

It has awful battery life.

I wish I had 3 more wishes.

They can only be spoken in a language that is impossible to learn.

I wish i had a girlfriend.

She is butt-ugly.

I wish I spoke fluent JavaScript.

Now everyone looks at you like you're crazy...nevermind.

I wish i didnt have insomnia

You now have agoraphobia instead.

I wish I was an official beta tester on deviantART.

You have a dial-up connection and a virus addled computer running windows vista.

I wish my algebra class wasnt being changed

But the teacher was replaced with one from a prison.

I wish I was geekier.

You are, but Earth runs out of power and you have no more comps to play with.

I wish I could upgrade to a new computer, but one that still looks like my old one

You get a tiny Bluegene in that fits in your computer shell, but it burns up due to the heat.

I wish I was a admin at Tangler.

You are, but dek is your manager, and she works you to the bone (kekeke!)

I wish I had some chocolate cake right now

You can only eat an amount that equals 0.00439 Calories

I wish I had a better job

You get one, but everybody else wants it and tries to get you fired.

I wish that my wish wouldn't get corrupted.

It doesn't but instead gets cancelled by the "ghost of 'topics' future" for killing the feed....

I wish my flatmates would all stay out of the house for at least one full day and night

They do, but a bunch of bats comes and says hello instead.

I wish that I had a better imagination.

You do, but an overload of ideas fries your brains in 2 seconds

I wish I had an assitant

You do, but it's me.

I wish I had an instant job in the manufacture of computers/computer parts.

You get it, but they make you sit there and polish completed CPU cases

I wish my car didn't rattle and rumble so much

Now it won't rattle or rumble at all.  It's broken.

I wish I had a cake, that wasn't poisoned.

You find one, but it falls on the floor as you're about it eat it, and it is run over by a boy on his tricycle

I wish I wasn't so sleepy

You can never fall asleep and becomes mad because you miss your dreams too much.

I wish that my laptop were even more powerful.

It becomes so powerful that the fans are under stress and eventually fail and shards of it fly out and destroy the screen

I wish that I had something to watch

A donkey shows up and starts dumping brown stuff next to you...

I wish that Tangler was near 1.0 sometime soon.

Granted but Tangler gets shut down 2 days before that.

I wish my dad will let me skip school again tomorrow.

You do, but only because the teacher's are on strike. Why is it bad? The bully who hates you as much as you hate him doesn't live far from you, and he goes over to your house, pretends to be your friend just to fool your mum, and manages to beat you up.

I wish I had a better computer.

It becomes self aware, does away with the 3 laws of robotics, and starts the great robot uprising. Thanks a lot.

I wish it would be 60 degrees tomorrow.

Granted... it's 60 degress Centrigrade

I wish there wasn't such a thing as global warming

granted. now the globe is going to explode instead.

I wish i knew what to wish for

You do, but you have a memeory of a goldfish, so you forget before you type it out.

I wish I could have a home-cooked meal that i didn't have to cook myself.

You get it but it's prepared by cannibals...menu reads "Special of the day - Leg of Morgan K."

I wish the sun was shining.

It is a gloriously sunny day. Unfortunately you are trapped in a greenhouse and are slowly baking to death.

I wish i could find my inner peace.

You do, but get shot by your neighbour who lost his.

I wish this was eveen more fun.

You get banned from playing this game, which becomes even more fun for the rest of us.

I wish I  could touch type.

granted, but you get a flesh eating virus and lose your fingers (and toes).

i wish i could be 22 again.

Granted. You will be 22... in about 18 years time.

I wish computer CPUs were much smaller.

you got it. now where did it go? better get out your magnifier.

i wish the beatles were still around and making music.

They do, but they're really crap cos they can't sing without losing their breath

I wish I had a new car

You do, but i've got the keys for it.

I wish i could drive so i could steal Deks new car.

You can drive and you did steal Deks car, but you are now in a cozy cell with a nice man who keeps calling you "Mary".                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I wish I had a job.

You get a job in a secret research facility, but nobody tells you where it is so you get fired for not turning up.

I wish I could find money whenever I needed it.

You do, but they all have the same serial number, so the bank gets you locked up.

I wish that my post never just disappeared when posting on Tangler.

it doesn't, although everytime you try to post something, your whole browser shuts down instead.

i wish there was good music on my ipod

it is now full of great music, but explodes in shock..

i wish my 3year old would shut up for 2 minutes.

they do, but only because an apache helicopter has just crashed through the ceiling..

I wish I knew how he feels about me.

He does, and that's why he stays away.

I wish that I was Superman.

you are, but your skin has turned to kryptonite.

i wish i could fly.

You get shot down as you fly over an air base.

I wish I had an invisible micro-supercomputer fully capable of running Vista.

microsoft finally realizes how useless vista is and gets rid of it.

i wish i were an A student.

You are, but so is everyone else, so they raise the standards

I wish I could find a more comfortable desk chair

granted. but a little blond haired girl breaks into your house, eats your porridge and breaks the chair.

i wish i could find something good to watch on tv.

I'd like to grant that wish, but I can't bend the laws of nature

I wish I had access to all the secret government files of every country

granted, but now i have to kill you.

i wish i didn't need sleep.

You don't need sleep, but you enjoy it so much that you decide to do more of it.

I wish it would rain only when it was convenient for me.

It does, but then you get sued by the entire world.

I wish that everybody wished me well.

After a while, you get tired of being wished well.

I wish I were wished by someone with a wish to waste.

you were, but they had a few to waste and unwished you.

i wish i may, i wish i might.

You get may and might, but you also get couldn't and shouldn't

I wish coffee was cheaper

granted, but it tastes like @#$%.

i wish captain jack sparrow was alive and living in my bedroom.

Granted. But the people who're always chasing him reach your room, completely thrash it, and cause him to run away again.

I wish I had a real Transformer

granted, but you get stepped on by accident and die.........oops.

i wish i could stop time.

You do, but only for 1 millisecond at once, and you can't move yourself during that time.

I wish I were the best hacker in the world.

you are, but you hack into the first bio-computer virus and die within 24 hours.

i wish i could turn back time.

you can. but only one second at a time.

I wish I wasn't scared of driving.

Your fear is cured, but there is no more oil left, and therefore no more driving

I wish for world peace

granted, but all the warmongers take up knitting, causing a huge increase in wool production which leads to all the sheep evolving into hairless creatures.

i wish i could compose music.

You can, but only dogs can hear it.

I wish interesting articles would find me, instead of me having to find them

they do, but now you have no time to read because you are so busy sorting interesting articles.

i wish my headache would go away.

It does, but your feet hurts instead.

I wish that noboby knew how to make this wish corrupted.

I don't know how to, but then that goes against the law of wishes, and the universe collapses on it self

I wish I could travel back to when the big bang happened and watch it unfold

You get to, but you get blown up while watching.

I wish that I could figure out an uncorruptable wish.

Done, but then your head expodes while your body spontaneously combusts,

I wish nat could think of something good to write

I do, but your brain explodes when you read it.

I wish that I had 5000 RFID tags to play with.

you do, but it somehow doesn't make you happy.

i wish i understood what nat's wish meant.

You do, but you get bored.

I wish that no idiots existed,

granted, but without the comparison... you are now the bottom of the intellectual heap.

i wish junk food were healthier for you.

Granted. But we run out of oil to fry em in.

I wish I could control the colour of the sky

granted. but you become colorblind.

i wish i could speak other languages.

granted but as you learn one you forget all the others

I wish I got paid more.

granted, but the cost of living goes up so much, that you are now making less than before.

i wish dogs didn't smell so stinky.

Granted. They now reek of perfume

I wish I had a closet full of perfumes I liked

granted, but you now develop an allergy to perfume.

i wish i wasn't allergic to perfume.

Granted but now your skin absorbs it and it gets into your bloodstream and poisons you.

I wish my boss wasn't an idiot

He is replaced by the best boss in the world - and he don't think that you fit in and kicks you.

I wish that I had a better cell phone.

granted, but all communication satellites are destroyed by a huge meteor field and no cell phones work anymore.

i wish i could have a tight body without exercising.

You do, but the 'thin is in' trend is over.

I wish someone would shout me lunch today

Some really weird dude shows up...

I wish that Vista didn't suck.

sorry, that's just impossible.

i wish natanael could have another wish.

granted but he's nowhere near as funny anymore

I wish somebody paid for my drinks tonight

People keep buying you drinks, but they aren't alcoholic

I wish my regular cafe did deliveries

they do, but the delivery area stops just across the street from your place.

i wish i got to travel more.

You do. You now work 100 miles further away from home.

I wish the sky was green.

it is, but you're in los angeles.

i wish i had a $50 bill in my pocket.

It's only valid in the country of Sudan.

I wish I had a job.

granted, but now you actually have to work.

i wish i starbucks latte's were free.

Granted but now they are poisonous.

I wish I had some non-tainted raspberry iced tea

granted, but they just discovered that tea is carcinogenic.

i wish i could think up something good to wish for.

granted, but you lose your ability to verbalise it

I wish this sharp pain in my right hand would go away

granted. it's now in your left.

i wish i wasn't getting picked up on a motorbike tonight! I'm scared!

Now you're being picked up on a jet powered unicycle.

I wish I hadn't banged my head while laughing at the Roflmao video.

Granted - but you banged other parts of the body instead. Now you are in even more pain...

I wish that I was the most powerful human ever.

You are, because all other human have evolved into superior beings and you're the only human left.

I wish i had a magic bag and could pull out of it anything I wanted.

You get one, but everything you pull out are extremely smelly...

I wish that I had more candy.

granted but you can only get it from creepy old men with paperbags in playgrounds

I wish I was 10kg lighter.

you are, but only because you broke your jaw and it's been wired shut.

i wish i wasn't sooooo sleepy.

You can never sleep again and becomes insane.

I wish that there were no bugs in FF3 beta 3 on Ubuntu...

There aren't any, but Ubuntu keeps crashing.

I wish people didn't look for autographs anymore

They don't, but the stalk you instead..

I wish that I could run faster

granted, but now.......wait a minute.....where did you go?

i wish i liked people more.

Granted, but now people think you're a stalker

I wish people who want to send me bills forget my address

granted, but you forgot you were due for massive refunds.

i wish i had more time to play games.

You got soo much time that you get sooo bored that you kill yourself.

I wish that I had a RC helicopter.

you get the helicopter but no controller.

i wish i had a newer upgraded model of my current car.

It crashes on the way to your home.

I wish that I alwaws remembered what I want to remember.

granted, but you realize you only wanted to remember really stupid stuff.

i wish i could type faster.

Your keyboard burns up.

I wish that my laptop screen were larger.

granted. but now you have to look at this.....enlarged!

i wish i hadn't seen that pic.

You didn't, but then you forgot to not look at it and you did anyway.

(You embedded the pic the wrong way. Use the picture icon.)

I wish that Tangler's functionality were more obvious.

i'm trying again:

argggggggggh!

why won't this work?

Click on the picture icon and insert the URL.

it's not working for me.

how did you get the pic i was trying to use?

I saw the URL.

why are you seeing the url and i see nothing at all?

I saw the URL before you removed it.

oh, right.

got it!!

YAY! 

i wish that hadn't taken so long to figure out(and that it wasn't so public).

Your wish are granted, but then you mess up again in public.

I wish that this would have been fixed faster.

uh....i wish i could grant that.....where is a moderator when you need one?

i wish i was a moderator and could delete this whole mess.

Granted, but then you mess up again and again and again.

I wish that I was a mod. You know, just because of being a mod.

granted, but it gets old fast.

i wish i didn't have to go do my laundry.

You don't, but then there's dishes that needs washing.

I wish that I didn't have to go to sleep.

granted. but you get really bored......and tired.

i wish i didn't have to end this so soon.

You get locked to your computer forever instead.

I wish that you could stay longer. And that I could stay longer too.

granted ,but we might get sick of each other.

i wish i had more self control.

You get more, but everybody else loose their.

I wish that the world was sane.

ooh. tough one.........granted, but you become insane  so it doesn't really matter .

i wish we could do this all day.

You forget everything else than this.

I wish that I had more time.

granted, but i don't.

sorry, i really do have to go......it's been so much fun!

i wish my daughter had someone else to play with right now.

Granted, but you don't want to know who it is.    ( )

I wish this could continue longer.

granted, this one last wish.

i wish we could continue this later.

granted but when it happens its the worst experience of your life.

I wish I had some chocolate chip cookies

Granted, but they are horribly stale.

I wish I was better at trigonometry.

You are, but trig loses its usefullness

I wish I was at the F1 GP this weekend

You are there, but nodoby else are.

I wish that I had more friends IRL. xD

granted.....but you realize (remember) that people suck.

i wish that i could meet a nice, honest man (easy on the eyes would be nice,too).

You meet a sweet Brad Pitt look-alike who worships the ground you walk on and has millions$$, but he has a condition that makes him constantly expel odoriferous gas from both ends and he has the voice and mannerisms of Pee-Wee Herman.

I wish I had a job that pays well and is easy.

lol!

granted, but your boss turns out to be "my man" (see above) and you work in very close quarters.

i wish i remembered some past lives.

You remember 6 past lives and then try to live them all simultaneously. Fortunately there is a small padded room room with your names on it.

I wish i knew the results of all future sporting events.

You do know, but every time you try and do something with the knowledge, you freeze

I wish I knew the big wigs at car companies

you do, but, unfortunately they know you too and they've all notified their staff not to let you near them.

i wish i could dye my hair any color in the rainbow and not damage my hair or be judged.

You do, but it gets boring and you can't control it anymore after 10 changes.

I wish that I could make my PC do everything i wanted only by thinking.

granted, but your computer crashes the next day and you can't afford to fix the incredible mind-reading computer.

i wish i could remember all the birthdays of the people i love in time to send a card.

You do, but the post office mess up so that the cards comes to late.

I wish that I could wake up exactly when I need to without being tired.

You do, but then you realise you have absolutely nothing to do

I wish that I had every episode of Boston Legal on DVD

Somebody replaces it with "Legally Blond".

I wish that I didn't have to go right now...

granted...........................................but now it is time to go.

i wish that someone was here every time i came to post.

Granted, but they ignore you.

I wish that my sister didn't sing on ennoying songs all the time.

Granted. She now keeps telling you long annoying stories.

I wish I didn't feel like I was coming down with the flu

Granted. SARS gets you instead. Remember SARS?

I wish that there were more activity here.

Granted. But now you can't get a word in.

I wish I win every Weewar game I play

Granted. Now nobody want to play with you.

I wish that I would always have fun.

You have so much fun you forget to eat or drink and slowly waste away.

I wish my coffee remained at the perfect temperature.

It does, but the perfect temperature is too hot for you to drink.

I wish there was an easier way to floss

there is but it involves a laser and a sandblaster.

i wish i had more money.

You are killed by a gangster that steals all of your money.

I wish that everything I eat are non-poisonous and tastes great.

granted, but everything you eat gives you terrible heartburn.

i wish someone would make me dinner tonight.

Granted, but all the ingredients they use are things you dislike.

I wish I didn't have a sore throat

granted, but now you have the worst migraine ever.

(hope you feel better soon)

i wish i wasn't allergic to so many scents.

Granted. But  now the scents don't smell all that great.

I wish my head didn't hurt

Granted, but now you cant feel your head at all.

I wish I could hang out with my 3 yr old niece.

Granted, but she keeps hitting you with her toys.

I wish the weather wasn't so gloomy today

Granted, but tomorrow will be gloomy.

I wish unlimited cash flow.

Granted, but it causes a cash flood and you drown in it.

I wish i had some plans for the easter weekend.

Granted. Now you're so busy you don't have a chance to sleep or sit

I wish I had a never ending pot of chai

Granted.  It is never the right temperature, either to hot or too cold.

I wish that I had a never ending supply of amazing buds.

You accidentially knock it over and your house is flooded with chai.

I wish my Greasemonkey scripts wouldn't screw up on me.

Hey..what about my post??

@Jason: You change your mind and thinks that those buddies that were great aren't so great anymore.

@Ruune: They don't, but Greasemonkey are updated. And you know what happens sometimes when stuff are updated. (Changed API, fresh bugs, etc...)

I wish that I knew more Python that print = "Hello world!"

Jason, I don't think I saw your post when I made mine.  I'd better do one for you.

The buds are too amazing and other people always take them from you.  Despite having a never-ending supply, you can never get your hands on one.

As for Natanael's post, I'm...  not sure what your wish is.  I mean, you started off with "I wish I knew more python that" and then you either put in some nonsense or edited your original post to replace the ending with nonsense.  Well...  it is a corrupted wish...  I guess.

Your Python starts to ERROR!  ERROR!

I wish your wish made sense.

it does, but it's so bizarre that your head explodes.

(thanks for reviving this game, this is the one that brought me to tangler in the first place. jason hasn't been around in a while, i'll let him know about your post)

i wish had the time to read an entire book.

(Python = scripting/programming language, and "that" was supposed to be "than")

You get the time, but you can't focus on the book.

I wish that people could understand how extremely intelligent I am... (I am quite smart, but sometimes people don't understand me...)

they do, but only because now, they are even smarter than you....so you are dumb, by comparison.

i wish nat would find someone who appreciates how smart and funny he is and realizes how cool that is.

Your wish is fulfilled. Nat' will never bother chatting with you again now.

I wish that this was less fun.

impossible.

(i didn't mean that i am not someone who appreciates how smart and funny and cool you are, i do)

i wish i didn't have so many important, yet extremely unpleasant, things i need to be doing right now, instead of tangling.

Wish granted.You'll never get anything important to do ever again. You are now like totally unimportant and nobody care.

(LOL)

I wish that I had more time at my laptop.

Granted. You now spend all your time at the lappie, but you don't have in internet connection.... and you lose your power cord

I wish I had a camera which could record images exactly as I see them in my head

granted, but you slowly realize that you have an extremely distorted and unpleasant view of the world and everyone who looks at your photos (including yourself) starts vomiting violently.

i wish i wasn't so nervous about starting my new class.

You aren't. But the teacher is so nervous, the first class is a disaster!

I wish I could afford a personal masseuse

you can but this is him:

i wish i could find microsoft office 2003 at an affordable price.

You do, but MS sues you for paying to little for it and you end up in jail for life. (USE OPENOFFICE! http://www.openoffice.org/ )

I wish I knew how to set up DSL on my USB-stick.

Granted. You now know how to do it, but you can't find a single flash drive big enough.

I wish Natanael wasn't so obsessed with setting up Linux on his USB stick

granted, but the now you can't get the idea out of your head, and you becoome twice as obsessed.

i wish i could use open office, but my school uses ms office 2003 and i have to use what's compatible (i have office 2002)>

Granted.  You may now use Open Office, but only in a classroom full of nothing but guys who look like Alfred E. Neuman.

I wish I could be more tolerant of the 98% of the people on the planet who don't have a clue.

you are, but now they can't stand  you.

i wish i could afford to go to a restaurant tonight....................make that every night.

Granted.....but the only restaurant you can go to is McDonald's.

I wish I could win the lottery so I could share all the money with my friends and those less fortunate.

granted, but you miscalculate your funds and those less fortunate become waaaay more fortunate than you......and they aren't as generous.

i wish i could speak several languages.

Granted.....unfortunately, those languages are only understood on planets 1,000 light years away.

I wish I could play the piano.

granted, but every one of your fingers, except for your left thumb, get chopped off in a bizarre football accident, and your thumb has permanently lost all the skin on it, in an unrelated cheerleading accident, making it too sore to play piano with.

i wish i could see more colors.

Granted, but all the new colors you see are so bright that they blind you permanently.

I wish people could just read my mind so I wouldn't have to post these wishes.

hey art- don't you want to wish for something?

I wish bluegirl would wish for something

oops.

granted, but now i'm so embarrassed that i curl up and die.

i wish i hadn't done that.

Granted, but everyone knows what you did anyway

I wish it doesn't rain this long weekend

granted, but it will rain for every other long weekend or vacation you have for the next year.

i wish i had gotten the correct software with my expensive textbook.

Granted.....but the software is written in Swahili.

I wish so many of my poems weren't stolen by other people on the web who claim they wrote them.

Granted, now no one steals your poems, and no one reads them either.

I wish I could find suitable company when I need it

Granted.....now you can put suits on any company you have over to your house.

I wish computers actually made my life easier.

granted, but only because HAL doesn't let you do anything at all......very simple and easy.

i wish i could exert more self-control and not get online when i have things to do.

Granted.......but when you get online, windows crashes.

I wish my glasses didn't just break about 2 minutes ago.

granted, but now you've got hysterical blindness.

i wish i had a glass of bourbon in front of me right now.

Granted....but it makes you so drunk, you wake up in another town in a foreign bed covered with whipped cream.

I wish I could have been an actor on Star Trek.

(I actually have a friend who was an actor in a few episodes of the last Trek series, "Enterprise").

granted, but you are wearing a red shirt .

i wish i could keep up with all this activity.

granted, but you fall 10 years behind in everything else.

i wish i had something other than chicken to eat.

granted, but now your fridge is full of rodent carcasses and madahascar hissing roaches.

i wish i hadn't,once again, waited until the last moment to even look at my homework.

Granted!  Your homework is, sadly, an assignment to read The King In Yellow, a sanity-destroying play created by an otherworldy being bent on invading your mind (ouch!).

I wish I was a punk rocker.

Granted... but your hair falls out after one gig.

I wish I could go on a motorcycle trip with Ewan McGregor

granted, but then i kill you and take your place.

i wish i didn't love saying ewan mcgregor as much as i do.

(really, i think it might be one of my favorite things to say)

granted but now you like saying words that take days to pronounce.

i wish my dad would let me ditch regular school as often as i ditch summer school

granted, but on one of the days that he let you ditch school, viktor vaughn shows up looking for a protoge and signs autographs.

i wish i could have a little peace and quiet so i can study for my midterm.

Granted. You get days of peace and quiet, and you use them to study, only to arrive at the exam hall to find out that the mid-term has been cancelled indefinitely.

I wish people would see my point of view more easily

Your point of view is now twice as big, bright yellow and comes with subtitles. Unfortunately it is still wrong.

I wish i had a big book full of answers to questions i never thought to ask.

Granted, but all the answers are Egregiously Erroneous.

I wish a certain someone would ask me out

ay bay bay

i wish i would get off my but and get some watermelon

granted, you get off your butt, trek all the way to the kitchen, cut yourself a slice of watermelon and discover it's completely rotten.

i wish you would all come and check out my new forum .(is anyone getting the hint?)

The sudden(and numerous) influx of links pointing towards your forum  result  in them being classed  as spam.

And removed. Along with your forum. And you.

I wish i didn't have to waste my saturday doing housework.

granted. you now have to spend your saturday getting teeth pulled.

i wish my friend would call me back.

granted, but your friend is so angry at you that the only reason they've called to chew you out, so badly that they have invented new cuss words.

i wish i didn't have deal with father's day, tomorrow (at least here in america).

granted, now i have to deal with fathers day (im also american)

wish i wasnt hungry

granted......your dead.

i wish i could go to sleep.

Granted, but you wake up with green finger tips.

I wish I had a chance to wear a gown from the 19th century

Granted, but as it came off a corpse part of the previous owner was still in it.

I wish my desk would stay tidy

granted, but if you touch anything, at all, the entire desk and it's contents will disintegrate.

i wish it wasn't so frickin' hot!

granted. its now OVER -9000!

i wish i had a girlfriend

Granted, but she insists on braiding your hair all the time. With Pink ribbons

I wish this shitty feeling would go away

Granted, but you will remain trapped as a 60's American housewife on Valium and Anit-Depressants forever dozed and dazed.

I with I had 10 million dollars.

granted, but with inflation it's only worth about $1,23 american.

i wish i had some more "me" time.

You do, but you have a non-treatable illness that takes up all your time.

I wish it was summer

Granted.... but now water restrictions stipulate that you can only shower once a week.

I wish it'd stop raining here!

granted, but now it's hailing frogs.

i wish i could just blink my eyes and have my wishes come true.

Granted, but you catch a disease which causes your eyelids to fall off before you can make your first wish.

I wish I had a tardis

granted, but it will only bring you either 2 seconds into the future, or 3 seconds back to the past and either 3 feet ahead of you or into the room behind you.

i wish i could afford a really nice vacation.

Granted, but you can only vacation in some arid, desolate, remote, god-forsaken place populated by savages.

I wish that I could read people's minds.

Granted, but you can only read innane thoughts like 'I really need to pee'.

I wish I could dance well

granted, but you fall off the pole and break both your ankles.

i wish there were 2 of me, so i could spend quality time with my daughter and tangler.

Unfortunately tangler breaks so the 2 of you spend all your time fighting over who gets to look after your daughter.

I wish there were 2 of you.......mmmm double the fun!!

Granted, but now the 2 of bluegirl set you double the chores to do.

I wish I had someone to have dinner with tomorrow night.

granted, but that person is a dumpster diver and wants to eat on his turf.

i wish my 'n' key wasn't stuck.

granted. now your a, e, i, o, and u buttons are stuck (and sometimes y)

i wish my throat wasnt sore

granted, but now everything else is.

i wish i could find a decent picture to post.

granted but everyone on tangler starts stalking you

i wish i wasnt thirsty

granted, but you are never thirsty again and you get extremely dehydrated.

i wish i had paid my cell phone bill on time.

granted but now they expect it earlier and earlier until you have to pay it everyday

i wish my head wasnt empty

granted, it's filled with maggots.

i wish, i didn't have to get up early tomorrow.

You never have to get up. Now you are bored.

I wish I had internet connection at home again already...

granted but your addiction to the interweb gets so bad that your family has to set up an intervention

i wish i wasnt such a nervous person

granted, you are now so confident that people hate you and you have trouble living up to your own expectations.

i wish i could/would eat healthier..

granted, but you become a super vegan and all your friends start making fun of you.

I wish urbaniacs worked right on FF3

It does, but you get a virus that prevents ff3 from working at all.

I wish my hair dryer wasnt broken

granted, but it works so well that it starts shooting flames and all your flesh gets burned away.

i wish i could go back to six flags

granted, but a screw is loose on the iron wolf and just you start going through the last loop, the whole thing comes crashing down.

i wish i could find the complete farscape series on dvd (starburst edition) at a very reasonable price.

You can, but you need to trade in your player to get it.

I wish my sore throat would go away

granted, but now you have the worst headache, ever.

i wish i could wake up refreshed and energized after only 3-4 hours of sleep.

You can, but it only lasts for 30mins.

I wish i could create my own emoticons.

granted, but they all look like this.....

i wish people were nicer.

You become less nice which make everyone else seem nicer.

I wish i could think of better wishes than this one.

Granted, but your reality has been so expanded that you go insane.

I wish I had the energy to go Clubbing all the time.

granted, but your high energy levels get you mistaken for a mental patient and you get locked in a padded room.

i wish i had something to do.

granted, now go clean out those port-a-potties!

i wish my project was done and i've gotten a an A+.

granted, but you get sick and miss so many days of school your A+ means nothing.

I wish my stomach didnt hurt.

Granted. But now you're hungry and you have nothing ready to eat.

I wish I could run things my way

no. never NEVER NNNEEVVEERR!!!!! (and its not fair that dek's corruption came true)

i wish i didnt have this nasty taste in my mouth.

granted, but you've lost your tongue in a horrible kissing accident.

i wish i had more 'me' time.

granted. 0.63327 seconds of "me" time added to your inventory. enjoy.

i wish i didnt waste so much time with that stupid game.

granted, now you waste all your time on this stupid game.

i wish i could to the movies and see something rated above a pg.

granted. your child kills you in your sleep the following night.

i wish i wasnt so restless

granted, but you are completely paralyzed from the neck down.

i wish i hadn't gotten so far behind in my e-mails.

Granted, but as you are Moderator on every single forum in existence you become physically exhausted.

I wish I could be more understanding of people who are morons and ignorant.

granted, but by being more understanding you start becoming more like them.

I wish i wasn't so lethargic.

granted, but now you have too much energy..........

i wish tattoos were cheaper.

Granted and in the process of acquiring too many you become known as 'Sexy Ink Woman."

I wish that I could travel first class all the time

Granted. You get to travel first class on rickshaws where ever you go.

I wish I wasn't such a fool

granted, you are not a fool............you are the fool.

i wish homework did itself.

Granted, your is done and because you are a nerd now everyone insists that you do theirs.

I wish dinner could just make itself.

granted but it tastes like concrete

i wish cold water didnt bother my tooth

There is no more cold water in the world. Now people start signing petitions to make you take your wish back.

I wish I could meet Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords

you get a perfectly good view of the rear of Jemaine as he runs away from you, screaming.

i wish i had the wisdom to solve all of life's little(and not so little) problems.

granted. you then become revered as a god, and then assassinated by a mob of unruly athiests.

i wish they would leave me home alone more often

granted, but some robbers come to the house and you have to deal with it all by yourself.

i wish impossible situations could be possible and probable.

granted, the world now turns into DBZ and Goku kills us all with a spirit bomb. jerk.

i wsh i didnt leave my bottle of water in the freezer for a week.

granted but now your bottle of water is hot and yucky.

i wish that good things would start coming my way.

granted, but then i become unable to to corrupt wishes

i wish marcausfag would go away

Granted. Now he is replaced by someone that's worse.

I wish I'd have a (100% stable) Neo Freerunner and free+fast wireless internet.

http://wiki.openmoko.org/wiki/Neo_FreeRunner

Granted, but you only have these for 4 seconds.

I wish my isp would hurry the @#%! up and connect my internet.

granted, but they go out of business the next day because they give such slow service and now you have no connection....... again.

LOL! I almost believe it....

and your wish??

oops.....

i wish that i could have a wish come true and not be corrupted.

You can, but for it to be granted you have to sacrifice your life first.

I wish pentanque wasn't spelled that way

granted, now it's spelled sllkhjdoissoxo.

i wish i could sleep more.

granted but Freddy Kruger moves in next door

i wish i was more excited about my semi good news

you get so disproportionally excited about your semi good news, that you are banned from ever having any good news, for your own safety.

i wish i had a preview window that could show me the consequences of any decision i make.

Granted... but it comes with the annoying movie preview voiceover and it never gets to the conclusion of the consequence.

I wish this movie I'm watching was less annoying

you now have to watch 2 hours of the badger song

i wish i had some 800mg asprin

You get it. Now you are addicted and get ruined because you spend all of your monaey on aspirin.
I wish my life was perfect and lasted for ever, and that this applies to all of my friends too, and that this wish can't get corrupted.

granted, but its only valid in biazarro world.

i wish i had something to do.

Granted, but now you don't even have the time to scratch an itch.

I wish things were cheaper

Granted, but because of the market crisis your money is no longer worth anything at all.

i wish someone would call just to say hi.

Granted. But they say Hi and then keep talking, and you don't get a word in for the next 3 hrs.

I wish I had a masseuse on the ready

Granted. He has daggers for hands

I wish The sun would just go down already

Granted, but the electricity goes out as well

I wish I could see the sun...

you can now see the sun, but unfortunately it is the only website you can access...

i wish i had the worlds most powerful computer, fully working and the size of a laptop...

granted, but it has a battery life of 2 minutes.

i wish i didnt have a headache.

Granted. You are dead.

I wish I had more time.

Now you have all the time in the world, but no energy to do anything.

I wish I had a house cleaning person.

granted, but they steal all your internet

i wish winter wasnt so unbearable

Granted. You can now bear winter, no matter how cold it gets. But now you have to put up with everyone else whinging about it cos they still can't bear it.

I wish the weather would start acting like it was summer!

granted but it gets so hot that everyone in Australia dies.

I wish there was a marathon of something better than Josie and the Pussycats

granted but it goes for 18 months and you cant change the station.

i wish my flatmates boyfriend wasn't in the house

Granted, but now you have a poltergeist for a house guest.

I wish the girl with the irritating voice next door would shut up

granted because a 100 person japanese orgy starts up on the other side.

i wish my stomach didnt hurt

Granted. I'll remove it for you.

I wish I hadn't slept today.

granted but youre now ugly as sin due to lack of beauty rest

i wish i didnt have school tomorrow

Granted. The demolition crew hit the wrong plot.

I wish I wasn't running out of bandwidth

Granted. Now everybody are nagging you about borrowing bandwidth.

I wish that the Swedish IPR & surveillance laws wasn't so stupid. (FRA, IPRED, etc...)

Done.  Now they are smart and efficient and you can't get away with anything.

I wish I could control the weather.

Done, but everything else in your control before isn't now.

I wish I could tell some people what I really thought of them

Done but everytime you do your feet grow by two sizes.

I wish this game would just die already.

Granted, but we take it to Twitter and spam your time line with it.

I wish I was somewhere else

Granted, you're now in the middle of the ocean without a vessel with nothing but the clothes on your back.

I wish I was somewhere else too.

Granted... you are now with me

I wish I could code a little

You do, but the doctors bring you back to life again.

I wish I could take back the events of the previous two weeks.

Done, but now two weeks have passed and you did the exact same things.

I wish I were looking forward to my day.

Done, but now you have to deal with my day

I wish I could kill someone and get away with it

Done. It's called suicide.

I wish that nothing spoils my fantabulously spectacular day!

ROFL!!! Great answer to my wish! hahahahaha

Done. All the things that were supposed to spoil your day have been rescheduled for the weekend.

I wish I could make things better

Done, but you get burned for being a witch

I wish i didnt have to go to prom

Don't. Just go to the pub like everyone else did. Oh wait, you have to be 21 dont you... ok *poof* you are now 21 and get out of your prom to go drinking.

I wish I didn't have to train new staff today.

You don't... you now have to train your boss

I wish I could make time pass faster today

You can, but you are now in a rocket ship approaching the speed of light.

I wish Lucas hadn't ruined Star Wars.

He doesnt - the actors ruin it by singing all the dialogue

I wish I could give a hoot abt Star Wars

You do -- now you spend all your time on message boards ranting about how Han shot first and what a disgrace the computer animated Yoda is.

I wish the world were a marginally better place.

Granted. With 3/4s of the people wiped off the face of the earth

I wish I could just stay in bed this morning

You will stay in bed FOREVER! DEAD!

I wish I would't have to start paying for this wireless broadband thingy in 3 months if I keep it. And that I could use it on 3 laptops at once

Granted, but Girls, girls, girls your entire My father, the Prime Ministers closest advisor here in Libya bandwidth gets Hi, this is Etta.  Did you get my last message taken up Financial freedom today with no risks by spam Become 30% longer in only three days

I wish that Get Vigara mailed directly to your door I had a Russian brides are waiting for you pet elephant Stop Spam today

(Great, now that Hi, I'm Amy, and I love to play with it's started I can't Is your PC clock running slow? seem to stop Free downloads for life this junk coming Is your debt killing you through.) Don't you wish you had

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Too funny!

So, what's the new wish? Or I'll make a new one up:

I wish that I had an Android with 16 SDR+antennas and a quad-core Snapdragon CPU and a whole bunch of RAM.

Granted, but it doesn't do phone calls

I wish I find a ghost town today

You do, but you're the only ghost in it.

I wish everyone a happy new year.

granted, but the new year never comes around.

I wish I had cake

Granted, but it is completely inedible.

I wish I had one of those rays that will evaporate slow and incompetent drivers (complete with car and any passengers who are stupid enough to get in a car with them), who's only skill is that they are damn good at synchronising their appearance in front of me so that a new one arrives to take over before the current one is overtaken or turns off.

Granted, but the slow and incompetent driver has a ray that evaporates impatient, old, grumpy drivers who think that they should be the only one allowed on the roads. And they manage to fire first.

I wish all my chores were done so I can veg out in front of the cricket.

Granted, but the cricket is abandoned due to a crap pitch.

I wish I could decide what I want to do tomorrow night

Come drinking with me!!

i wish my plane would hurry up

It does, but it stops at the wrong gate.

I wish I had a plan for today

You do, but it sucks.

I wish this was the last wish in here.

Granted, but only for 23 hrs

I wish I had something to do

Granted. It sucks, now you want nothing to do.

I wish that this wish was uncorruptable.

Granted. You get an uncorruptable wish, but you're corrupt, so you mess it up yourself.

I wish the damn airconditioning worked in this godforsaken office

It does. In fact it works so much better than you, that it replaces you and gets a pay rise.

I wish my new computer would stop misbehaving.

It does. In fact, it started behaving so well that you get put in the corner for disobedience.

I wish I came into some inheritance or something.

You do. And then someone sneaks by and snatches it.
I wish I won this.

You win it, but then your net connection goes down, and you never find out.

I wish I wasn't sick anymore

You aren't. You're dead instead.

I wish.

It turns into a swear.

I wish I hadn't missed the train

You got on the train. It stinks. Now you stink.

I wish I had the best smartphone in the world

You do. But it's Decepticon and eventually runs away with it's buddies after stealing all your contacts and demolishing all your other gadgets.

I wish my coffee wouldn't go cold so quickly

You coffee does not go cold any more because it is not hot to start with.

I wish I hadn't been away from Tangleland for so long. (far too many posts to catch up with).

Your wish is granted, and all your unread posts are cleared

I wish you hadn't been gone from Tangler so long

Granted, but instead he's been here ALL THE TIME, making you sick because of him posting so much.

I wish all my wishes were perfect, beneficial and uncorruptable.

Granted, but then you end up having nothing to wish for

I wish I had a few extra hours today

(lol)

Granted. Now you spend them all on work and being worried, so you die earlier.

I wish that 42.

You get 43 instead.

I wish that all the stuff I need from the shops today would just magically appear in my house without me having to go out.

Granted.

I wish that I wouldn't have to wish

granted, provided you have to use your two other wishes for something else.

i wish i had any superpower i could imagine.

Granted, but everytime you use the power, you let out a giant fart.

I wish a had a remote to my pc upstairs

Lazy bugger, get some exercise!

I wish I was too drunk to care

Granted, but it's not the alcohol that makes you not care, it's the giant hangover that does the job.

I wish I had a desk and chair combination which wasn't so bloody uncomfortable

granted, but it breaks down after a week.

i wish i had a free trip to las vegas

Granted, but every girl you meet won't pay attention to you. The only social group you will be able to contact are only guys.

I wish that I could have the power to be invisible.

granted, but every time you think about water, you become visible again.

i wish i had the ability to play a musical instrument

Granted, as long as it's the kind of instrument that is perfectly silent.

I want to be somewhere else..

Granted. But I'm there with you.

I wish I could get to bed just by wishing it

Granted, but it's not your bed.

I wish I had a sleeping pattern that would revolve around my actual work hours, and not have me still awake at 3am when I have to get up at 7am

Granted, but all of your dreams will be about you working

I wish that I could shape shift into anything that I want. any time whenever.

Granted, but you can't hold the shape for more than 3 seconds

I wish I knew what to wish for

Granted , but when you figured out what you wanted. You could'nt remeber what is was you were going to wish for.

I wish that everything I touched turned to what I wanted on command.

Granted, but all you get a holograms of what you wanted

I wish I won't rain today

It probably didn't.

I wish I had peace, health, happiness and riches - and didn't live in Antarctica

Granted, but you live in Antartica

I wish I had a never ending supply of the bestest coffee in my cup

Granted, but the coffee cup you have is the size of a shot glass.

I wish that I had the power to freeze things with my mind.

Granted, but you end up freezing your own mind.

I wish people would just get to the point

OK, I'm at the sharp end.  Does that count?

I wish I had bought a bacon sandwich on my way in to work this morning.

Granted, but they add your most unfavourite veggie to it. Boiled.

I wish they were showing cricket on FTA tv

Granted but it's a documentary about insects.

I wish something interesting would happen to me.

Granted. But it happens to everyone else too.

I wish my houseguest would go already

Granted, but now my ankle is fixed, it could be me...!

I have to go out.  I wish I could stay in and watch the IPL...

You get to stay in and watch the IPL, but they air Bridezillas instead

I wish I had some welcome company tonight

granted but they dont welcome you

Your lack of whishes is interpreted as that you wish to have nothing. It's granted.

I wish I broke the wish game.