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Bluegirl said: why can't there just be 30 hours in a day?
Cos I'll be damned if I have to think up ways to fill up another 6 hours!
Why must there be holidays?
Cuz I'll be damned if I'm gonna work on a day when I can loaf around and still get paid.
What makes the world go round?
I have it on good authority that it is cheese.
Why do they say love makes the world go round?
Because love is made of cheese.
What is the opposite of a kangaroo?
kangadidgeridoo.
what does a nose smell like?
It smells like this: "sniff....sniff....sniff...."
How many people voted for Mickey Mouse in the last presidential election?
2 - Donald Duck and Goofy - but they want you to know they did it only cos they were forced to.
Who will Goofy vote for in the next elections?
bush.
how much do you pay for your cell phone service?
Nothing. I gave up cell-phones back when I was paying 25 cents a minute for them in the 90s.
What is your favorite board game?
rollercoaster typhoon......it's new, you should check it out! 
what am i going to eat?
Something that won't put pounds on your thighs.
Why am I so indecisive on where I want to move to?
because there are so many planets in the galaxies.
are you saying i'm fat?
No, even though I have no photographic proof to show me otherwise.
If light bulbs usually go out only when the light switch is flipped on, then would that mean that if you never turned off the light, the bulb would last forever?
you are forgetting about erosion.
why have i still not gotten something to eat?
Because you are enamored by my ingenious postings.
Why am I full of it?
because gas is so expensive these days, you are trying to conserve.
what the heck is that?
I'm sorry.....I'll put it away.
What's the next freeway exit?
$42. it used to be free, but, you know.......inflation.
gee, why is my stomach growling?
Because you haven't eaten your ice cream cone.
Why can I hear your stomach this far away?
because you have bionic hearing.
how can i possibly keep this tangling pace up?
Drink lots of caffeinated soda.
If I start diiging now, when will I reach China?
(caffeine won't help my creativity, which is starting to lose steam)
you'll reach china in 42 years. 
why can't i think of anything to ask?
Because you now know everything there is to know.
If you had to choose ONE place in the USA to live for the rest of your life, where would it be?
new york city, no question. i don't know how i'll afford it, but no matter where i've lived (and i've lived in a few places), no matter how much i've enjoyed living in those places, i always want to go home.
what should i be when(if) i grow up?
A brain surgeon or a taxi driver.
Why did Jack-In-The-Box quit selling the "Jack Steak" and the "Moby Jack"?
because he got jacked.
do you think i might get some sleep tonight?
I thought you WERE asleep!
Whatever happened to all the light brown M&M's?
they got eaten by the blue ones.
do you remember the red ones?
They still have them. (I wrote a poem once "Green M&Ms")
Whatever happened to "pea shooters"?
when Q and R both showed up dead, P was sent away for a long, long time.
how long will it take me to fall asleep?
From the time your head hits the pillow until you are snoring. (approximately 42 minutes. Actually, 16 minutes, but I couldn't resist saying 42)
What is the square root of infinity + 1
Triangular
Why is red used so commonly on flags?
Because plaid flags would just look stupid.
Where are all the flying cars we were promised years ago?
what? you didn't get yours?
Was that an answer AND a question???
yes, you weren't around when the rules changed, but they've changed back to the original set of rules, now.
why is coffee so yummy?
No. That depends. As a result it is mostly a pronoun.
Why is everything always found in the last place you look?
because everything is a very good hider.
how are things down under?
Because it is generally the direction that things fall.
How old is the Queen tomorrow?
42 (have you been paying attention?)
how do you determine the intelligence of a dog?
n(n-1) where n = 7.
Why is coffee yummy?
because i drink it.
where do you hang your hat?
On her bedpost.
Why do they call it a "titmouse" when it is neither?
because it sound so much better than breastrodent.
how many tabs/windows can one person possibly have open at one time?
42.
Why is the sky green?
because it is Rock Lee's favorite color.
Why was I gone so long?
because you were grounded.
why am i still awake?
Cos you have an imaginary alarm clock ringing in your head.
Why wasn't I able to fall asleep last night?
because you were dreaming about taking a motorcycle trip with ewan mcgregor, and had to keep waking up and taking cold showers.
why are lawyers so frickin' expensive?
They really arent. They just like picking on you.
Why was my horoscope right today?
because the stars are in alignment.
why is going to the movies so expensive?
Cos paying more for it makes people think they're getting more than they actually are.
Why does it feel like everyone is out to give me a hard time?
NSW sucks.
Why did all the pasta go so quick?
They had to get home in time for Sex and the City.
Why do all movie critics come across as self-important?
because they decide what you will like at the moving picture show.
what is wrong with spammers?
You can never find the right one to loosen your nuts.
When you get your brakes fixed, why can't you call them fixed's?
its an industry term. you civvies wouldnt understand.
why is it so hot
Because the lion chased the cold away.
Why do nails keep growing?
thats just your bones growing out your digits.
Why dont more people use tangler?
because they are afraid of getting tied up in knots.
why doesn't everybody come and check out my new forum ?
Cos they're scared of the pirates.
Why do pirates wear jewellery?
because they like to look pretty.
why can't i get motivated?
because motivation is a gateway to cooties.
why am i so restless?
because you need less rest.
where have all the flowers gone?
They went underground when they saw the hideous new Prius.
What the hell is wrong with car designers these days?
Jesus built my hotrod.
Isn't it?
Why yes. Yes it is.
why wont Lupe dumb it down?
can you imagine what would happen if lupe smartened up?
Sure can!
Who the hell is Lupe?
Lupe is French for Loop.
What colour are the curtains?
seafoam green
why is it so quiet?
All the birds died.
Why aren't there any ostriches at the beach?
because that would be dumb. silly goose
why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets?
Cos Will Smith will punch your lights out.
Why are super hero movies so 'in' now?
cause the industry is rum by 10 year olds
why is my lamp so bootleg?
Cos you put socks on it.
Why can't I find a perfect pair of earphones?
because your ears are tired of being assaulted
why am i so bored
Because you aren't talking to Morgan K.
Why am I suddenly surrounded by bored people?
youre the only living person in a sea of zombies. (and now i want to watch Night of the Living Dead)
why am i wide awake?
Cos you just watched a documentary about global pandemics
Why do people get married?
because they like ruining their lives
why do people refuse to buy food around here?
food! who needs food?
i needs it. -emo tear-
lolwut?
LOL this 
Do dogs say lol?
lolwoof.
do fleas say lol?
Because they are masochists and into self-flagelation.
(Qn Why do people refuse to buy food around here?)
Why do people fall in love and have children?
because they are insane.
why do the leaves fall off the trees in autumn?
Cos they're tired and feel the need to de-compose
How can I make my tuna sandwich taste better?
give it to your worst enemy.
why is going to the movies so frickin' expensive?
Cos the cinema owners think making a movie an expensive commodity will stop people from downloading it instead.
Who is my worst enemy?
little miss muffet.
who is my best friend?
IDK JILL
why is the show im watching so poorly drawn?
because it was drawn by these guys:
why is that picture so big?
its a badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger
why do i love the badger song?
because you like to be drive crazy.(when i first saw it i did exactly what you just did: badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger)
what is up with that song?
its the single coolest song ever made
why am i so tired?
because you've been listening to the badger song.
why am i not prepared for what i need to do tomorrow?
because if im not, then you cant be either
do i have to go to school tomorrow?
no.
do i?
nope. (i really didnt go to school today)
why is it so hot?
Because the sun has a cold.
Why is today a special day?
because its love dek day
why am i not sleep yet?
Cos your mum hasn't tucked you in.
How often should you update your resume?
every other millennia
why am i suck a sucker for love songs?
Because you love Badgers.
What the hell was on that sandwich?
Safety pins
Why can't some people respect my wishes??!
because you wish for stuff like rainbows and ponies
do you have any respectable wishes?
re-spect? DOES NOT COMPUTE! *head explodes*
why am i up so early?
you're not. everybody just changed the clocks and destroyed the sun to confuse you
why do i have to get up early tomorrow?
because you deserve it.
why do i have to go to the baby shower of someone i don't know, hosted by an acquaintance?
You're really just going for the food..
(and btw, i did deserve it - I got my hair done today and it's fantastic!)
Why did the sun decide to come out today?
(ooh, i'm glad you got a nice haircut, especially after the last one)
the sun finally got over it's shyness.
why is it that when it's cold out your nose runs? shouldn't the mucus freeze?
Your nose is falling off from the cold - bit by bit
why are the keys on the keyboard set in that particular sequence?
to make people de-learn their alphabets
why cant i think of an album to add to my ipod?
The problem with that is that you cant get past the first letter....you get to 'w' - which is where "B" fits in to the song, and it doesn't fit.... GAH!!
????
Are you trying to tell me that you don't get it, or asking me where the question is,(or in fact, where the answer is), or is that actually your question??
uh......yes.....yes.....yes,,,,,yes
get it?
no! wtf gais T_T
what are you talking about?
huh?
No.
What is Spongebob made of?
pork.
why is coffee so good?
its liquid cocaine. you only think its good.
why did my answer make no sense?
It is forever being stoned and the perpetual drug haze.
Why aren't there more people online at Tangler?
there are lots of people here, they are all hiding.
why is there nothing cuter than a puppy?
cause they hypnotized with their evil cuteness ray.
why was my response so lame?
Your response is not lame, your perception is distorted from all that liquid cocaine.
Why cant I fit into my size 32 jeans anymore?
because they shrunk and are now a size 26.
who framed roger rabbit?
The man.
why are ramen noodles considered food?
because your body can almost digest it.
why is chuck e. cheese's such a madhouse?
because its filled with toddlers, sugar, and great pizza
why is my dad such an ass
because he's your dad.......duh. (i hope you aren't going to talk about me like that, after i adopt you)
why is my face breaking out (i have 2 pimples at the same time!!)?
you have child germs (and i wont talk about you as long as you feed me)
is 'James Bond' James Bond's real name?
no, it's fester frederick jimmy smith.
why am i so tired?
because youre not watching a Will Smith movie
what should i do for my birthday?
go to chuck e cheese.
can you guess where i'm going for dinner?
taco bell?
how come i never knew about cran-peach juice drink?
Cos it's been a state secret for the past 50 years.
Why am I feeling all warm and fuzzy?
cause youre in love 
why is there still no food in my house?
because i haven't adopted you yet.
why do i have a scratchy throat?
i have no idea.
why am i playing with a piece of broken metal?
because you want to cut yourself and get tetanus.
where can i meet a great younger man?
Chuck E Cheese
why does my grandma feel it necessary to wake me up to tell me shell be right back?
She can't discern between your sleep and awake states.
Where are children growing up so quickly?
because of all the speed we give them.
what the f*ck?
invisible buttsecks
who is the real slim shady?
i'm the slim shady..........the real slim shady...
who is your favorite opera singer?
weird al yankovic
why wont i get off the computer?
because i'm still here.
why is donkey so funny in the shrek movies?
cause eddy murphy shoots funny beams out of donkey's bum
why does my jaw hurt?
i'm not going to answer that question, on the grounds that i don't want to come off as a dirty old woman.
why am i such a dirty old woman?
you listened to too much ODB
why didnt i know RA the Ruggedman was white?
because you only listened...........you didn't look.
is the pizza going to be good when it gets here?
it'll be so good your face will melt and you will accept it as your god
why do my fillings hurt?
you must have eaten the crappy pizza that i just had.
how can i get my kid to bed quickly?
a cannon?
how did it get to be so late so fast?
Cos bluegirl shot a clock out of the cannon.
Why am I sitting here, at a loss at what to do today?
cause i stole your life
why am i not watching Soul Eater right now?
Cos it already secretly ate your soul.
Why is it so hard to get motivated?
cause motivation is for wusses
how long am i gonna be awake?
for EVER!
is it too late for coffee?
its not too late, its never too late *goes to find that song*
why did that hurt so much?
because you are alive.
did you find the song?
yup
how come the pizza im cooking doesnt have a crust?
because if i had to eat crappy pizza this evening, everyone has to eat crappy pizza!
why am i not enjoying my snack?
Cos the snack was too needy and turned you off.
Why do some people irritate me so?
Because you don't irritate them enough.
I'm deep, aren't I?
if by deep, you mean shallow then yes.
(hi insaneguy! 
)
where have you been?
He's been in the country, polishing his shoes.
Should I stay or go?
42.
why do i feel that i must have a snack at 1:30 am?
Because 1.30am is the magic hour. It's when your stomach cells are the most active.
Why am I suddenly filled with dread?
because dread is very filling. (i hope you really aren't)
why after having my snack at 12:30 tonight, does my tummy hurt?
you picked the one snack with a magically changing expiration date.
when are my grandparents coming to get me?
i don't know if you smoke (and you shouldn't), but i was a kid waiting for my grandparents, lighting up a cigarette would guarantee their car pulling up.
why am i still on line instead of entertaining my daughter?
cause shes like me and can entertain herself
why is it so hot?
because i'm in frickin' tucson, arizona!
have your grandparents arrived yet?
no. wait that wasnt erroneous
why did i wake up with a headache?
(sorry 
)
because you did way too many drugs last night.
is it possible to take my kid to 2 different restaurants, like she requested?
no. if im hungry so is she
why arent there more americans here?
because, they all know they can't be as cool as the 'blue chicks".
did you all know that the circus is in town?
The circus is always in town, because they haven't been granted visas to go to the country
Why are my nails so hard to trim?
because you are made of diamonds.
why do i find myself in the situation of being in charge of two 3 year olds............early in the morning?
cause i didnt want to
why is there nothing to do in Iowa?
because it's grandparent-land.
are you with your grandparents for a long time?
only for 1 year and 3 weeks
what should i ask for for my birthday?
a trip to visit your friend bluegirl.
when is your birthday?
august 1st... dammit i did it again 
why are cap guns so fun?
because they shoot little hats.
what did you do again?
went to iowa.
how much does having kids suck?
about as much as a really bad vacuum. (i complain, but i love it!)
why are there so many creatures flying around inside the house tonight?
they are the ghosts of the bugs that hit my grandpas windshield.
is gunpowder supposed to make you throw up?
no, it makes you blow up. ( 
i kill myself)
aren't i so funny?
tain't funny mcgee
why did it take me so long to cop this ruggedman album?
because you are so slow.
where can i hear some ruggedman?
i don't know. (got it)
how fast can you delete the post?
faster than i can inhale more gunpowder
why am i too stupid to not fire my cap gun in front of teh fan?
because when you hang with the grandparents the slowness and senility rub off on you.
why does ruggedman not sound remotely nigerian?
cause he shouldnt...?
why am i too lazy to get some water?
because you're afraid of pissing your pants.
am i wrong to think that he's nigerian?
no. no you are not.
sould my fillings still hurt this bad?
it depends how deep the sadist dentist decided to drill.
where am i going to find time to join another forum?
in the 8th deminsion after you defeat the sea monkies.
why do i keep spilling water all over myself?
because you like to get wet.
seriously, why the f**k am i surrounded by little moths and flying beetles?
you got magically transported to the south
wtf if w/these mosquito bites
you're so sweet they just can't resist.
when should i have my snack?
right........................................now
sup?
nuttin...............just trying to catch up.
why are you distracting me ?
robert loggia
how did it get this late?
time flies when your having fun.
how late is it in iowa?
idk im not in iowa anymore
why am i not syncing my ipod?
because i'm so confused.
where the frick are you?
back at home.
do i have to go to school tomorrow?
(i'm so confused. i guess you were giving me an erroneous answer when you said you would be with them for a year- i'm very tired and not very quick this evening)
once again, i give you permission to cut school.
your dad's not gonna track me down and kick my ass, is he?
heck if i know. i havent seen him in four days
why am i cold all of a sudden
it's just the thought of me and your dad throwing down.
will ever get caught up with my e-mails?
yeah, when the internet breaks.
will ou clear off my bed for me?
if you'll clear off mine.
why have i still not gotten my snack?
your memory is fat.
how come my feet hurt?
your feet are fat.
why does tomorrow have to be monday?
Compendiuem novae rationis restituendi kalendarium
Why does the usually empty express from Park Road to Manly at 5:49pm get a six car unit and the all stations at 5:53pm gets a 3 car and is constantly chockers?