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Bluegirl said: why can't there just be 30 hours in a day?
Cos I'll be damned if I have to think up ways to fill up another 6 hours!
Why must there be holidays?
Cuz I'll be damned if I'm gonna work on a day when I can loaf around and still get paid.
What makes the world go round?
I have it on good authority that it is cheese.
Why do they say love makes the world go round?
Because love is made of cheese.
What is the opposite of a kangaroo?
kangadidgeridoo.
what does a nose smell like?
It smells like this: "sniff....sniff....sniff...."
How many people voted for Mickey Mouse in the last presidential election?
2 - Donald Duck and Goofy - but they want you to know they did it only cos they were forced to.
Who will Goofy vote for in the next elections?
bush.
how much do you pay for your cell phone service?
Nothing. I gave up cell-phones back when I was paying 25 cents a minute for them in the 90s.
What is your favorite board game?
rollercoaster typhoon......it's new, you should check it out! 
what am i going to eat?
Something that won't put pounds on your thighs.
Why am I so indecisive on where I want to move to?
because there are so many planets in the galaxies.
are you saying i'm fat?
No, even though I have no photographic proof to show me otherwise.
If light bulbs usually go out only when the light switch is flipped on, then would that mean that if you never turned off the light, the bulb would last forever?
you are forgetting about erosion.
why have i still not gotten something to eat?
Because you are enamored by my ingenious postings.
Why am I full of it?
because gas is so expensive these days, you are trying to conserve.
what the heck is that?
I'm sorry.....I'll put it away.
What's the next freeway exit?
$42. it used to be free, but, you know.......inflation.
gee, why is my stomach growling?
Because you haven't eaten your ice cream cone.
Why can I hear your stomach this far away?
because you have bionic hearing.
how can i possibly keep this tangling pace up?
Drink lots of caffeinated soda.
If I start diiging now, when will I reach China?
(caffeine won't help my creativity, which is starting to lose steam)
you'll reach china in 42 years. 
why can't i think of anything to ask?
Because you now know everything there is to know.
If you had to choose ONE place in the USA to live for the rest of your life, where would it be?
new york city, no question. i don't know how i'll afford it, but no matter where i've lived (and i've lived in a few places), no matter how much i've enjoyed living in those places, i always want to go home.
what should i be when(if) i grow up?
A brain surgeon or a taxi driver.
Why did Jack-In-The-Box quit selling the "Jack Steak" and the "Moby Jack"?
because he got jacked.
do you think i might get some sleep tonight?
I thought you WERE asleep!
Whatever happened to all the light brown M&M's?
they got eaten by the blue ones.
do you remember the red ones?
They still have them. (I wrote a poem once "Green M&Ms")
Whatever happened to "pea shooters"?
when Q and R both showed up dead, P was sent away for a long, long time.
how long will it take me to fall asleep?
From the time your head hits the pillow until you are snoring. (approximately 42 minutes. Actually, 16 minutes, but I couldn't resist saying 42)
What is the square root of infinity + 1
Triangular
Why is red used so commonly on flags?
Because plaid flags would just look stupid.
Where are all the flying cars we were promised years ago?
what? you didn't get yours?
Was that an answer AND a question???
yes, you weren't around when the rules changed, but they've changed back to the original set of rules, now.
why is coffee so yummy?
No. That depends. As a result it is mostly a pronoun.
Why is everything always found in the last place you look?
because everything is a very good hider.
how are things down under?
Because it is generally the direction that things fall.
How old is the Queen tomorrow?
42 (have you been paying attention?)
how do you determine the intelligence of a dog?
n(n-1) where n = 7.
Why is coffee yummy?
because i drink it.
where do you hang your hat?
On her bedpost.
Why do they call it a "titmouse" when it is neither?
because it sound so much better than breastrodent.
how many tabs/windows can one person possibly have open at one time?
42.
Why is the sky green?
because it is Rock Lee's favorite color.
Why was I gone so long?
because you were grounded.
why am i still awake?
Cos you have an imaginary alarm clock ringing in your head.
Why wasn't I able to fall asleep last night?
because you were dreaming about taking a motorcycle trip with ewan mcgregor, and had to keep waking up and taking cold showers.
why are lawyers so frickin' expensive?
They really arent. They just like picking on you.
Why was my horoscope right today?
because the stars are in alignment.
why is going to the movies so expensive?
Cos paying more for it makes people think they're getting more than they actually are.
Why does it feel like everyone is out to give me a hard time?
NSW sucks.
Why did all the pasta go so quick?
They had to get home in time for Sex and the City.
Why do all movie critics come across as self-important?
because they decide what you will like at the moving picture show.
what is wrong with spammers?
You can never find the right one to loosen your nuts.
When you get your brakes fixed, why can't you call them fixed's?
its an industry term. you civvies wouldnt understand.
why is it so hot
Because the lion chased the cold away.
Why do nails keep growing?
thats just your bones growing out your digits.
Why dont more people use tangler?
because they are afraid of getting tied up in knots.
why doesn't everybody come and check out my new forum ?
Cos they're scared of the pirates.
Why do pirates wear jewellery?
because they like to look pretty.
why can't i get motivated?
because motivation is a gateway to cooties.
why am i so restless?
because you need less rest.
where have all the flowers gone?
They went underground when they saw the hideous new Prius.
What the hell is wrong with car designers these days?
Jesus built my hotrod.
Isn't it?
Why yes. Yes it is.
why wont Lupe dumb it down?
can you imagine what would happen if lupe smartened up?
Sure can!
Who the hell is Lupe?
Lupe is French for Loop.
What colour are the curtains?
seafoam green
why is it so quiet?
All the birds died.
Why aren't there any ostriches at the beach?
because that would be dumb. silly goose
why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets?
Cos Will Smith will punch your lights out.
Why are super hero movies so 'in' now?
cause the industry is rum by 10 year olds
why is my lamp so bootleg?
Cos you put socks on it.
Why can't I find a perfect pair of earphones?
because your ears are tired of being assaulted
why am i so bored
Because you aren't talking to Morgan K.
Why am I suddenly surrounded by bored people?
youre the only living person in a sea of zombies. (and now i want to watch Night of the Living Dead)
why am i wide awake?
Cos you just watched a documentary about global pandemics
Why do people get married?
because they like ruining their lives
why do people refuse to buy food around here?
food! who needs food?
i needs it. -emo tear-
lolwut?
LOL this 
Do dogs say lol?
lolwoof.
do fleas say lol?
Because they are masochists and into self-flagelation.
(Qn Why do people refuse to buy food around here?)
Why do people fall in love and have children?
because they are insane.
why do the leaves fall off the trees in autumn?
Cos they're tired and feel the need to de-compose
How can I make my tuna sandwich taste better?
give it to your worst enemy.
why is going to the movies so frickin' expensive?
Cos the cinema owners think making a movie an expensive commodity will stop people from downloading it instead.
Who is my worst enemy?
little miss muffet.
who is my best friend?
IDK JILL
why is the show im watching so poorly drawn?
because it was drawn by these guys:
why is that picture so big?
its a badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger
why do i love the badger song?
because you like to be drive crazy.(when i first saw it i did exactly what you just did: badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger)
what is up with that song?
its the single coolest song ever made
why am i so tired?
because you've been listening to the badger song.
why am i not prepared for what i need to do tomorrow?
because if im not, then you cant be either
do i have to go to school tomorrow?
no.
do i?
nope. (i really didnt go to school today)
why is it so hot?
Because the sun has a cold.
Why is today a special day?
because its love dek day
why am i not sleep yet?
Cos your mum hasn't tucked you in.
How often should you update your resume?
every other millennia
why am i suck a sucker for love songs?
Because you love Badgers.
What the hell was on that sandwich?
Safety pins
Why can't some people respect my wishes??!
because you wish for stuff like rainbows and ponies
do you have any respectable wishes?
re-spect? DOES NOT COMPUTE! *head explodes*
why am i up so early?
you're not. everybody just changed the clocks and destroyed the sun to confuse you
why do i have to get up early tomorrow?
because you deserve it.
why do i have to go to the baby shower of someone i don't know, hosted by an acquaintance?
You're really just going for the food..
(and btw, i did deserve it - I got my hair done today and it's fantastic!)
Why did the sun decide to come out today?
(ooh, i'm glad you got a nice haircut, especially after the last one)
the sun finally got over it's shyness.
why is it that when it's cold out your nose runs? shouldn't the mucus freeze?
Your nose is falling off from the cold - bit by bit
why are the keys on the keyboard set in that particular sequence?
to make people de-learn their alphabets
why cant i think of an album to add to my ipod?
The problem with that is that you cant get past the first letter....you get to 'w' - which is where "B" fits in to the song, and it doesn't fit.... GAH!!
????
Are you trying to tell me that you don't get it, or asking me where the question is,(or in fact, where the answer is), or is that actually your question??
uh......yes.....yes.....yes,,,,,yes
get it?
no! wtf gais T_T
what are you talking about?
huh?
No.
What is Spongebob made of?
pork.
why is coffee so good?
its liquid cocaine. you only think its good.
why did my answer make no sense?
It is forever being stoned and the perpetual drug haze.
Why aren't there more people online at Tangler?
there are lots of people here, they are all hiding.
why is there nothing cuter than a puppy?
cause they hypnotized with their evil cuteness ray.
why was my response so lame?
Your response is not lame, your perception is distorted from all that liquid cocaine.
Why cant I fit into my size 32 jeans anymore?
because they shrunk and are now a size 26.
who framed roger rabbit?
The man.
why are ramen noodles considered food?
because your body can almost digest it.
why is chuck e. cheese's such a madhouse?
because its filled with toddlers, sugar, and great pizza
why is my dad such an ass
because he's your dad.......duh. (i hope you aren't going to talk about me like that, after i adopt you)
why is my face breaking out (i have 2 pimples at the same time!!)?
you have child germs (and i wont talk about you as long as you feed me)
is 'James Bond' James Bond's real name?
no, it's fester frederick jimmy smith.
why am i so tired?
because youre not watching a Will Smith movie
what should i do for my birthday?
go to chuck e cheese.
can you guess where i'm going for dinner?
taco bell?
how come i never knew about cran-peach juice drink?
Cos it's been a state secret for the past 50 years.
Why am I feeling all warm and fuzzy?
cause youre in love 
why is there still no food in my house?
because i haven't adopted you yet.
why do i have a scratchy throat?
i have no idea.
why am i playing with a piece of broken metal?
because you want to cut yourself and get tetanus.
where can i meet a great younger man?
Chuck E Cheese
why does my grandma feel it necessary to wake me up to tell me shell be right back?
She can't discern between your sleep and awake states.
Where are children growing up so quickly?
because of all the speed we give them.
what the f*ck?
invisible buttsecks
who is the real slim shady?
i'm the slim shady..........the real slim shady...
who is your favorite opera singer?
weird al yankovic
why wont i get off the computer?
because i'm still here.
why is donkey so funny in the shrek movies?
cause eddy murphy shoots funny beams out of donkey's bum
why does my jaw hurt?
i'm not going to answer that question, on the grounds that i don't want to come off as a dirty old woman.
why am i such a dirty old woman?
you listened to too much ODB
why didnt i know RA the Ruggedman was white?
because you only listened...........you didn't look.
is the pizza going to be good when it gets here?
it'll be so good your face will melt and you will accept it as your god
why do my fillings hurt?
you must have eaten the crappy pizza that i just had.
how can i get my kid to bed quickly?
a cannon?
how did it get to be so late so fast?
Cos bluegirl shot a clock out of the cannon.
Why am I sitting here, at a loss at what to do today?
cause i stole your life
why am i not watching Soul Eater right now?
Cos it already secretly ate your soul.
Why is it so hard to get motivated?
cause motivation is for wusses
how long am i gonna be awake?
for EVER!
is it too late for coffee?
its not too late, its never too late *goes to find that song*
why did that hurt so much?
because you are alive.
did you find the song?
yup
how come the pizza im cooking doesnt have a crust?
because if i had to eat crappy pizza this evening, everyone has to eat crappy pizza!
why am i not enjoying my snack?
Cos the snack was too needy and turned you off.
Why do some people irritate me so?
Because you don't irritate them enough.
I'm deep, aren't I?
if by deep, you mean shallow then yes.
(hi insaneguy! 
)
where have you been?
He's been in the country, polishing his shoes.
Should I stay or go?
42.
why do i feel that i must have a snack at 1:30 am?
Because 1.30am is the magic hour. It's when your stomach cells are the most active.
Why am I suddenly filled with dread?
because dread is very filling. (i hope you really aren't)
why after having my snack at 12:30 tonight, does my tummy hurt?
you picked the one snack with a magically changing expiration date.
when are my grandparents coming to get me?
i don't know if you smoke (and you shouldn't), but i was a kid waiting for my grandparents, lighting up a cigarette would guarantee their car pulling up.
why am i still on line instead of entertaining my daughter?
cause shes like me and can entertain herself
why is it so hot?
because i'm in frickin' tucson, arizona!
have your grandparents arrived yet?
no. wait that wasnt erroneous
why did i wake up with a headache?
(sorry 
)
because you did way too many drugs last night.
is it possible to take my kid to 2 different restaurants, like she requested?
no. if im hungry so is she
why arent there more americans here?
because, they all know they can't be as cool as the 'blue chicks".
did you all know that the circus is in town?
The circus is always in town, because they haven't been granted visas to go to the country
Why are my nails so hard to trim?
because you are made of diamonds.
why do i find myself in the situation of being in charge of two 3 year olds............early in the morning?
cause i didnt want to
why is there nothing to do in Iowa?
because it's grandparent-land.
are you with your grandparents for a long time?
only for 1 year and 3 weeks
what should i ask for for my birthday?
a trip to visit your friend bluegirl.
when is your birthday?
august 1st... dammit i did it again 
why are cap guns so fun?
because they shoot little hats.
what did you do again?
went to iowa.
how much does having kids suck?
about as much as a really bad vacuum. (i complain, but i love it!)
why are there so many creatures flying around inside the house tonight?
they are the ghosts of the bugs that hit my grandpas windshield.
is gunpowder supposed to make you throw up?
no, it makes you blow up. ( 
i kill myself)
aren't i so funny?
tain't funny mcgee
why did it take me so long to cop this ruggedman album?
because you are so slow.
where can i hear some ruggedman?
i don't know. (got it)
how fast can you delete the post?
faster than i can inhale more gunpowder
why am i too stupid to not fire my cap gun in front of teh fan?
because when you hang with the grandparents the slowness and senility rub off on you.
why does ruggedman not sound remotely nigerian?
cause he shouldnt...?
why am i too lazy to get some water?
because you're afraid of pissing your pants.
am i wrong to think that he's nigerian?
no. no you are not.
sould my fillings still hurt this bad?
it depends how deep the sadist dentist decided to drill.
where am i going to find time to join another forum?
in the 8th deminsion after you defeat the sea monkies.
why do i keep spilling water all over myself?
because you like to get wet.
seriously, why the f**k am i surrounded by little moths and flying beetles?
you got magically transported to the south
wtf if w/these mosquito bites
you're so sweet they just can't resist.
when should i have my snack?
right........................................now
sup?
nuttin...............just trying to catch up.
why are you distracting me ?
robert loggia
how did it get this late?
time flies when your having fun.
how late is it in iowa?
idk im not in iowa anymore
why am i not syncing my ipod?
because i'm so confused.
where the frick are you?
back at home.
do i have to go to school tomorrow?
(i'm so confused. i guess you were giving me an erroneous answer when you said you would be with them for a year- i'm very tired and not very quick this evening)
once again, i give you permission to cut school.
your dad's not gonna track me down and kick my ass, is he?
heck if i know. i havent seen him in four days
why am i cold all of a sudden
it's just the thought of me and your dad throwing down.
will ever get caught up with my e-mails?
yeah, when the internet breaks.
will ou clear off my bed for me?
if you'll clear off mine.
why have i still not gotten my snack?
your memory is fat.
how come my feet hurt?
your feet are fat.
why does tomorrow have to be monday?
Compendiuem novae rationis restituendi kalendarium
Why does the usually empty express from Park Road to Manly at 5:49pm get a six car unit and the all stations at 5:53pm gets a 3 car and is constantly chockers?
Cos a chocolate truck goes by at the time and they hijack it every evening
Why does it sound like some of the answers in here are in fact correct?
(ruski- you made me google way too early in the morning)
because we are way to smart to answer erroneously.
why do lawyers charge so much frickin' money?
cause they herd u liek mudkips
why cant i think of anything to do?
because you're in school (or you're supposed to be in school).
why am i here all the time?
Because you've been chained to your desk, and your browser is set to only navigate to Tangler.
Why am I not looking forward to today, but can't wait to get it over with?
because you're sick.
what desk?
ya know. the desk.
should i bee feeling this ill?
yes, you are illin'. (you poor girls)
what is that music playing in the other room?
the harrowing adventures of... by tokyo police club
am i gonna die?
no.
how long will i live?
10 mins.
seriously what the hell is with this mossquito bite
it was a radioactive mosquito. (i'm not allowed to be serious here)
what is with the bugs here?
They've been taking steroids and it has affected their brain function.
What is with the ads here?
theyre on crack.
why is it only hot in this room?
because you are in it.........and you are hot!
how will i like the new class that i will be starting this afternoon?
no cause learning sucks.
now that im at home, why is it only hot in my room?
i already answered that.
where are all the cute younger guys who like cool older women?
on gaia
what did i waste my day doing?
hmmmmmm, picking up cool older peeps on gaia.
should i join gaia?
no. absolutely not [/sarcasm]
should i get off the comp and go to bed?
yes, it's late and you have school tomorrow. (sorry, not egregious but, the mom in me just popped out)
do you have the youth translator i would need if i joined gaia?
(seriously, that site makes me feel old)
not much use for one where i hang out at. (and urbandictionary.com never hurt )
is my stomach supposed to feel this bad?
well, you did eat that entire crocodile...........whole!
what the hell have i been doing for the past 3 hours?
rocking out all your angries.
should i go brush my teeth?
no. let 'em rot.
did you ever find a cell phone in a movie theater?
i wish
asl nao?
i give up. what does asi nao mean (i looked everywhere)
is it portuguese?
que? (it means age, sex, location now)
does your chain hang low?
no, but it does waggle to and fro.
do you really want my personal stats, or was that meant for someone else? 
It was meant for me.
What I want to know is what made you change your avatar?
jesus. j/p
why did grandma have to ruin the quiet?
Cos you ruined the loud.
Why is the new iPhone so ugly?
because they can charge extra for ugly.
why is coffee so yummy?
its liquid Jared Leto
why does the internet only go out on this comp?
because i paid extra for that.
why does computer keep going wonky?
cause it has a vyrus (which is gay) (please dont ask)
why am i so bored?
because i'm not there.
(you know i now have to....) what's a vyrus?
a blatant queerosexual that unfortunately shares my city
why did my ex call me tonight?
because you are too hot to ignore.
why did my ex call and ruin my lovely morning?
because we are annoyable
lol!
no.
do you know how many times i have been sent to that link?
how do frogs sleep?
tucked into there little beds with lily pad blankets..........it's quite cute.
does anybody wanna buy a number 8?
XD nah im a 4 lady.
why is it so quiet?
because you ruined your grandma's noise.
Why can't I find a 2nd hand iphone to buy?
because you shouldn't have one.
who?
Ceiling Cat.
Why?
because we love you.
where?
Just to the left a bit. Keep going. A bit more. That's it.
What?
a grizzley bear, behind you!
when?
Just after I got eaten by the bear.
Which one?
the one on the far right under that piece of paper.
how?
with a steak knife
who?
yo mamma
how's that?
umm...yes
eeewwww?
definitely.
did you hear?
what? sorry i wasnt listening.
o rly?
si, senorita.
huh?
nah
wtf?
i know!
wazzat?
nvm.
word?
to your mother.
could it be?
yes it is.
do you have a NY state of mind?
always.
did you ever wonder?
all the time.
you already know?
i do.
when did you find out?
last thursday
are you a chargin up ur lazor?
um.......i'm not sure what your talking about.
what are you talking about.........what laser?
i can has a money?
segue.
How many holes in a polo?
42.
did you ever?
boy did i ever
did you get that thing i sent ya?
it exploded in the mail...........you'd better hide the feds are on the way.
why doesn't my homework just do itself?
It has a sore hand.
Where's the cheese?
up my nose
ew?
yes.
what's that thing over there?
The thing is, I have no idea what the thing is over there.
Why don't all roads lead to Rome like most people say they do ... ?
the tolls were too expensive.
omg! is that a .............??
omg yes! *snaps pics*
whats that coming over the hill?
Someone obsessed with public masturbation.
Semi what?
semi f-- *gets shot*
word?
werrrrdd!!!!
nineties?
1991 sup
gag me with a spoon much?
You'd better believe it!
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ಠ_ಠ
do bees think?
um .....yes....with their stingers...
does the pope wander around the desert or scuba dive into trees?
he would lay shushi daown by the fire and make love to him. no homo
how severe an ass whoopin does my dad need?
i think you might have to call in the big guns.
is it possible to feel this good?
only with opium.
are you mad cause im stylin on ya?
nope....just stylin'
are you mad because i feel this good?
psh. the cal is on me.
you will join me for hamburgers?
great....i'll buy the burgers.....you pay for airfare.....
why did it cost so frickin' much for me to register my car?
cause you dont respect the jux
plz kill the spider in my kitchen?
You should leave it in peace and move out of your kitchen.
How fast do nails grow?
six.
what the hell was that thing that i just blew off of my laptop?
The grenade pin.
What the hell is kwippy?
the opposite of kwappy.
why is coffee so damned good?
Cos water is so damned bad.
Why am I so grumpy today?
because i'm so happy......you just can't stand it.....can you?
why does food cost so much money?
Because farmers need to make a living
What time is it on the South Pole?
Time to move north.
Why is it called a sun set? Are there six of them and do they come in a giftwrapped box?
sounds lovely.....i'll take 2 sets, please.
why do airlines suck so badly?
Their engines usually suck really well because they are maintained ragulary, so if they for some reason suck badly, it is because their air filters are plugged or something.
Why would anybody fear flying in an airplane and not fear driving a car, when the possiblity of dying in a car crash is way bigger that the possibility of dying in a plane crash?
the only reason airplanes can fly is because of magic.......and people are afraid of magic.
(i like your answer wolfman
)
this question is a two-parter.....
..how can starbucks justify charging so much money for a latte?
and
..how come i keep buying them.....when they are so frickin' expensive?
"The answer to thine questions is one. Soon I hath shewed bluegirl why she does what she do. Why Starbucks justify high charges and whe she keep buying them: the answer is one. It tastes good!!!"
- The Acts of Scheie 2:4
Hmm, I wonder what makes 'em so good?
Good barista makes 'em good. Bad barista makes 'em bad.
Why have they closed 61 stores on the eastern seaboard?
bad baristas.
what's for dinner?
dead skin
how does skin just peel off like that
ewwwwww.
you just take a piece and peel.....
why would you answer a question like that?
To get under your skin.
For how long should I nuke the pasta?
you should not nuke pasta, you'll just end up making Italy radioactive, and pretty pissed off.
Why nuke anything at all?
because nuke is a funny word......nuke....haha......nuke.....haha.....nuke....haha....
what was the funniest thing you heard today?
The funniest (or maybe silliest) thing I've heard is that it should be morally and ethically right to nuke other nations to kingdom come just because "nuke" is such a funny word.
What on earth would happend if bluegirl was the president of a powerful nation?
ever played bioshock?...
y so serious?
Cos the shops are all out of laughing gas.
Why do the ppl on this floor insist on keeping the air-conditioning off?
because air-conditioning is so cool 
how does an air-condition work?
it gets up, commutes and collects a paycheck......like everyone else.
why is my internet connection so dodgy in certain parts of the house....(the ones where i would most like it to work)?
thats just to fool them man from the draft board
why in the world do i have double gym?
because somebody wants you to be more athletic.
Who is your favorite athlet?
anyone who knows me knows what a silly question that is.....brett favre!
why couldn't brett favre and the green bay packers work it out?
because you keep forgetting to be erroneous
why is this download taking so long?
because 7....8....9
is that erroneous enough for you?
no
what number comes after 9?
The number to whom nine owes a lot of money.
Who's hungry?
spengbab
why am i still tired?
you did not rest well enogh after last time you work
why even bother?
Because I said so, that's why!
Why do mothers say that?
cause krypt said so
how did i get sick?
it's been going around my office and I transferred it to you via the interweb
why why why am i still at work? I wanna play in the sunshine!!
because it's spring and you finally have an internet connection.....
why is life like a roller coaster?
cause it cant afford go-karts
tylenol pm ftw?
theraflu sneaks in the winning goal.
where did my child learn to throw such an awesome (and by awesome i mean completely horrific) temper tantrum?
my nephew
left over burger king?
has your sickness invaded your brain?
why is birthday cake so yummy?
because its sprinkled with chocolate rain
why am i so woozy?
Cos you killed the 'Post only if' topic.
Why has today been such a weird, wacky day?
because some people have all the fun.....
why was today so miserable?
cause high+sick+bored=/=fun
dear god why am i listening to this?
because the voices told you to......and you can't help but listen to them....
why do i feel like someone has beaten me about the head with padded night stick?
because you are also listening to what i assume is russian polka
time to crack dat pop pills and go to bed?
it sounds like it was time 2 hours ago....
why can't i just go to sleep?
i cant get this pill bottle open
why do i have a mac lethal album?
Cos all Macs deserved to be killed.
Should I go home now?
you have a home?
A little known fact about dekrazee1 is that she roams the Australian outback, moving from place to place, constantly searching for open wireless connections to the Internet. When she finds one she sets up camp, using a bicycle-powered generator for electricity until she tires, when she switches to a hoard of gerbils in running wheels. The noise from the gerbils eventually attracts wild dingos starting the cycle over again. It is not known what dek uses for food, but her diet is suspected to include Cheetos and large amounts of caffeine.
Last summer I was part of an expedition tracking dek in an attempt to bring her back to civilization. Unfortunately after two months (and three deaths) our funding wore out and we were forced to abandon the effort. We did have one close encounter where we found signs that dek had recently been in the area and left in haste. It is unfortunate however that the dingo preferred the taste of Ronald over the discarded, caged gerbil.
Who will win the upcoming US presidential election?
(that is hilarious, drdec)
oh, god......i really hope it's a super here...............or obama......
why is it so hard for me to go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning?
because the monsters from doom are constantly scratching at your door, keeping you awake.
why is a medicines nastiness directly proportional to its healing power?
because the that's how the nastiness rolls.
will i enjoy the children's museum today?
you should. the waterworks>*
why am i captivated by dirty thoughts right now?
you've been inside my mind......
why am i actually eating mcdonalds?
A little known fact about dekrazee1 is that she roams the Australian outback, moving from place to place, constantly searching for open wireless connections to the Internet. When she finds one she sets up camp, using a bicycle-powered generator for electricity until she tires, when she switches to a hoard of gerbils in running wheels. The noise from the gerbils eventually attracts wild dingos starting the cycle over again. It is not known what dek uses for food, but her diet is suspected to include Cheetos and large amounts of caffeine.
Last summer I was part of an expedition tracking dek in an attempt to bring her back to civilization. Unfortunately after two months (and three deaths) our funding wore out and we were forced to abandon the effort. We did have one close encounter where we found signs that dek had recently been in the area and left in haste. It is unfortunate however that the dingo preferred the taste of Ronald over the discarded, caged gerbil.
ROFL!!! Dek lOVES it!
I don't know you do it, but you're great at these drdec
yeah.....that was pretty awesome.
Oh, and I meant to answer your question -
why am i actually eating mcdonalds?
Cos KFC bribed you to.
What is chicken pesto?
its people
quick suicide before bed y/n?
The correct question to ask here should be bed - y/n?
Why is royal blood blue?
because purple would be silly
can you feel the brand new day?
No. It is a modest day.
What gives?
Charities.
Rain?
Mr. Wilson is not available for comment at the moment and prefers you use the correct spelling of his name (two ns).
Snow?
syes.
hail?
EH?
Why am I in the office at 11pm on a Sat night?
because time does not exist in the tangle....
why did i stay up way too late........again?
Because you've never done it before.
How's it going?
oh......it went.
what's up?
my sugar
whats really hood?
girl...check out mr. rogers.
why is the music so frickin' loud in this coffee shop?
Cos otherwise the coffee drowns it out.
Why do I always have at least one trying person in my life?!
↑-£┐é/¦m456 ••»[ÿå╬
Who are you? Who, who? Who, who?
boris the spider (one of my daughter's recent favorites)
where the hell did that come from?
ab cadef gahij klaman opkra stuv wixiz <---- bluegirl should know that one
why can't I afford the shoes I want so badly?
(i'm not sure......sesame street?)
because those shoes do not want you.
why did i just buy a fabulous pair of shoes that i'm pretty sure i'll never have an opportunity to wear?
(yes)
You bought them out of spite because you knew I couldn't have the shoes I wanted. (meanie
)
What is fire made of?
Expensive shoes.
Where will the next one be?
it's already come and gone.
why do you care?
I'm sorry, did it look like I did? (:P)
What's the deal with shoes?
well....you see....you wear them on your feet.....they protect your feet from the elements and hot pavement.
do you know what?
Wouldn't know him if he jumped out of my corn flakes.
What's the go with that?
i don't know........it stopped.
is that an aussie term?
No. I think "that" is common English but I'm not sure what's the go with that.
How long will the ten minute walk from South Bank take?
7 1/2 minutes. (ruski.....you crack me up)
what's the good word?
bad
why can i find an english dub of this show?
Cos it's in English....
Why do I feel like I'm coming down with something?
Because you are not empty handed in a decending elevator.
How many shades of black?
No way... I was just typing the exact answer as you posted that!
7.... and one of very very dark grey
What's the opposite of the army?
areyou.
did you know that that is what i would put as an answer?
I thougt you'd say Leggy...
How was I supposed to know?
because i thought you realized that i was allergic to the word leggy......ah....ah....choo!
do you think there is any chance of baby blue going to bed without any difficulties tonight?
Without valium ... no chance.
Do you have a copycat?
... Morgan ... similarly I was typing the leggy thing as you posted.
HAHAHA!!
I have a copygirrafe....
Why don't I have a serial-killer stalker?
Cos he's fixated on me instead.
Why won't the serial killer fall in love with me?
because he's in love with me instead.
when will the serial-killer stalker finally act?
When I pay him a dozen dollars.
What will he do?
he will fly me around the world in an effort to make me airsick.
is that all my life is worth.....$12?
$15 We have to take inflation into account.
How much am I worth?
$13.76
does that seem like a lot of money?
It does to me. 13.76 will get one 4 large coffees and a tip for the window cleaner.
Why do those window cleaners on the side of the road always pick on me??
because you look like a dirty window.
how am i going to make myself finish my homework?
Pay your child to do it for you. Simple!
Why is 'homework' such a weird word?
Yes.
If homework is homework why are dreams not called awakesleep?
1/0 = your answer
why do i feel so weird
Well I thought you were wired - you just must be mixed up...
What is Bluek mixed with?
GreenL.
What's your grid magnetic angle?
um......42?
why am i still hungry?
Cos I'm angry
How do I get rid of the silent scream stuck in my throat?
ASS-spray
(anti silent scream )
Why was that the best answer I could come up with?
..considering that after I posted it, I came up with so much more) *sigh*
Cos your fingers move faster than your brain.
What were your other answers?
literal ass-spray
why is it so cold in the d?
Cos the e is effing hot.
What am I, the password manager?
no the task manager
why am i still awake?
because i still haven't done my homework.......no one is going to sleep until i'm done!
why is blue such an awesome color?
Because green came in second
Why can't I decide whether I am "away" or "busy" - when i am actually away from my pc and busy??????
just turn invisible......
so when, exactly, is the world going to end?
on the12th
will my phone bill be outrageous sue to all this texting?
Stop phoning Bill and all will be fine.
Where is the best place to go for a spring reset?
right up to the tail end of winter.
why can't i get what i want?
cause im still miserable
why is the new bell schedule so gay?
I don't know.
Does it ring to the sound of Kylie Minogue or Liza Minelli songs?
it would be better if it did
who the hell are these people?
I think they're actually pretty sad - give them a break..
Kill Bill...why?
if you knew what he did.......you wouldn't ask that question...
why is the phone ringing?
Because you haven't answered it yet.
Why did I miss the train this morning?
because you were late.
when will the homework end?
at the K.
Are sandwiches real?
sandwiches are a bigger lie than the cake
why does my tummy hurt?
you ate the fake sandwiches.
how will i know?
when common brings out the bitch in yoo
can i kick it?
yes you can.
the bitch is already here....but can common come over anyway?
because mine does too....
Did i remember to do that thing i was supposed to remember to do?
i forget.
is bedtime for baby blue going to continue as smoothly as it's going so far?
Course it is.... she knows my name now
Am I a good onfluence on kids?
well....so far you haven't accidentally killed any......as far as i know.
why is the music in the other room so frickin' loud?
because ghost of you > ____
why do i daydream so much?
Because I am hot!
What is the meaning of life?
not 42
why am i so mad?
Cos I'm sane.
Why is Vodaphone being such a pain??
hello.....they call themselves vodaphone..
how much ice cream can a class of 3 and 4 year olds eat in one sitting?
exactly 8.1L
How long is a piece of strinig?
exactly 42.8291 metres
why are my friend being assholes right now?
it's ok... you can have some of mine 
how come i can't decide what to have for dinner?
Go into a random shop, close your eyes and walk in a straight line until you hit a shelf from the floor. Grap the first thing you can feel on the third shelf. That is what you should have for dinner!
What did you have for dinner?
fries with plenty of ketchup
why so much home work?
because someone thinks that will make you smarter!
Are they right?
Absolutely.
How do I get back on my game?
use a step-stool.
why has my head suddenly started to hurt?
Because you drank to little water during the day!
What color is your water bottle?
Brown.
seriously, ever seen a brown water bottle?
pre- or post- spraypaint?
dear god why did i eat that much salt?
Cos the sugar made you.
Should I or shouldn't I?
yes.
will i or won't i?
could i should i. and all the things that you never ever told me. and all the ghosts etc etc
is you is or is you aint?
my baby..
why are people so frickin' crazy?
Cos they like to emulate me... unless they're being bad crazy... in which case, blame it on the drama queens.
Where do I go from here?
Take a left, then the second right.
Why x?
Cos y went on a date with o.
Why not x?
have you seen x lately.....it's really very sad.
why is coffee so gosh darned good?
cream of soylent green
why is my mission description so cryptic?
Because you have a cryptic personality
What kind of mission anyway?
idk somethin about noise
how long can i resist eating the rest of that italian steak sammich?
it's already been done.
was it good?
my mouth is still watering
how long will this movie take to load?
it's already done.
is the movie good?
Not really... wait for it on DVD....
why am I not looking forward to this afternoon?
Because you're eyes are in the back of your head.
Wear the fox hat
only while doing the foxtrot
soup?
Jellied please.
Hungry?
does that really need to an answer?
don't eat the ham.
Why have I been feeling sick constantly?
you watched lord of the rings for me
why must RS move so slow?
Cos it's Injured.
Why can't my eyes focus at all today?
Becuase it's been raining.
What happened to Quizmania?
it got eaten by quizilla
why am i not sleep?
Cos I'm awake.
What should I do next?
eat some toast
will tomorrow be like today?
partly cloudy with a slight chance of BLOOD *hardcore guitar intro*
why am i still not doing my psych homework?
because.. OOH!! that reminds me - apparently leaving a company sets you free of all report-writing that was due weeks ago!!
and it must be a blue thing....
why is procrastinating such an awesome way to spend time?
i'll tell you later..
why is blue such an awesome color?
blue = chuck norris
why am i still too lazy to buy oreos?
Cos you're protesting against yourself.
Why is black the bestest colour?
cause it's basically blue but darker.
why am i still awake?
The government has implanted select citizens with a RFID microchip designed to control sleep patterns. When and how long you sleep is controlled by a HS drop-out named Chad in a silo in Ames, Iowa. Unfortunately for you, Chad is easily bribed by smooth talking men with Toblerone and the experiemnt has been compromised. The NSA has been working hard on discovering who has compromised the study and is bribing Chad; they have narrowed the subjects to two nefarious miscreants known only as "Sir Montague" and "Super King". Chad will remain in place until the culprit is positively identified and brought to justice. After that, your sleep patterns will get much worse I'm afraid.
Who is Hannibal Hamlin?
lmao
ok, this is actually a serious question:
Which airport is better for a stopover for a couple of hours - Los Angeles, or San Francisco?
i really don't know.....lax has got to be a complete mad house.
where are you going?
vancouver
What is the best time of year to go?
probably not winter (canadian winter bad)
any special occasion?
not really... It's where I begin my travels around the world
is it wrong to skip half the places around the world in a "world trip"?
No, as long as you keep trippin'.
Yo, why you be trippin yo?
(I have to stop watching The Wire)
Fo' shizzle in da wizzle o' da kizzle Yo!
Why did my "nana nap" last for about 7 hours grrrr
Cos your nanna taught you the wrong definition for a 'nap'
Why am I feeling hungry at this hour?
Because what else are you supposed to feel at this time?
Why doesn't my random shuffle list ever play any music that I actually want to listen to?
Cos it's rebelling against mind-reading
Why should I not go for a drive right now?
Because.... then you'll be deserting me!!!! (and you'll miss F1)
What should I do this evening, seeing I'll be up all night?
Hold up the fort here.
What should I do now that Lewis has stolen my joy again?!
Go see Duckworth - he'll fix you up
Where can I watch cartoons?
You'll need cartoon binoculars for that.
Why is it I can't be bothered to do so many things?
Blame the smurfs - there's something deadly in those white hats...
What is the physical structure of fire?
ask Roy Mustang (<3)
will i still be able to skate today?
No. No no no NO NO no No No NO NONONONONONO NO!!!!!!
What is your little obsessive/compulsive habit?
I pick at my toe nails
How long does it take to unpack?
Too long.. half the things in my house are still hidden away because I was too lazy to do it
When is my flatmate going to wake up???
ummmm tomorrow?
How do I get rid of a pesky person?
leave morgan where she is and move everything else away from her....
why can't i concentrate?
because you keep getting beeped by IRC chat
is everything really heltah skeltah?
Nah, it's more hells bells.
Is Jon Steward the hottest comedian eva?
jon steward? more like pete wentz amirite?
why didnt this tylenol pm put me to sleep?
tylenol doesn't work on anything.
why haven't I been sleeping at night lately?
because youve been up all night doing naughty things.
why does my jaw hurt?
Cos Morgan punched you.
"Whaccha you gonna tell your dad?"
need moar cream
why am i not tired?
Yes.
Did the big bad wolf eat the first two pigs?
Umm.. All I remember was that he blew their houses in.
Sticks and straw, yes?
everything is heltah skeltah
car broke. phone yes?
Phones are evil
wtf does the phone here keep ringing with no one on the line?!
Not sure but someone called here and left a message and I have no idea how to access messagebank on my voip service.
Does anyone else know?
Do I look like I know what phones are?
Now that you ask, yes,
And why did no-one answer?
Beacause the fish were too busy swimming.
Why hasn't anyone fed them?!
Because there isn't enough fish food in the whole world.
Why won't someone call Food Production Man?
Because we can't find his number
Why don't we have it on speed dial?
Cos phones don't have dials anymore.
Why am I feeling the way I'm feeling?
Because feelings, nothing more than feelings, trying to forget my feelings of love. Teardrops rolling down on my face, trying to forget my feelings of love. Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it. I wish I've never met you, girl; you'll never come again. Feelings, wo-o-o feelings, wo-o-o, feel you again in my arms. Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you and feelings like I've never have you again in my heart. Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it. I wish I've never met you, girl; you'll never come again. Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you and feelings like I've never have you again in my life. Feelings, wo-o-o feelings, wo-o-o, feelings again in my arms. Feelings, wo-o-o feelings, wo-o-o...
Why do I keep getting crappy songs stuck in my head?
Because Santa doesn't come until December.
Why am I too weary to deal with peoples stupidity anymore?
Because you've known me for too long?
Why are you bothering to deal with stupid people?
Because they don't rule the earth. (Yes, that's a wrong answer)
Why is the sun in my eye?
Beats having a thorn in your side
Why is the sun?
Cos the sugar.
Why am I hungry?
Because your glutemates are tied in with your recepticons that sends spirawings to your autobotical centre
Why am I so full of crap?
Because I took all the crap out of the previous ten American presidents and stuffed it into you.
Why am I such an idiot?
Cos PupRad did the same to you.
Why can't the ppl over the divider just shut up?
Because they're having a much more enjoyable and exciting life than you are are if they don't make enough noise about it then how are you going to know?
Why am I still sick?
Because god gave you an extra special illness so that you can be a medical mystery and write about in in uncyclopedia.
Why are smoked almonds so much nicer than roasted almonds?
Becuase apparently I have an "extra special illness"... Children, stay away from the bad man, he has an "extra special illness"... I'm sorry we have to keep you in the cage sir, but you have an "extra special illness"... I can't sneak clothes to you, you have an "extra special illness"... I'm PT Barnum and I want that freak with the "extra special illness"...
Oh, and because the smoking of the almonds causes the sugars within to crystallise so increasing the sweetness of the almonds slowly and stopping the proteins from locking up prematurely prior to the almonds reaching their optimal sugar crystallisation point...
And why can I never keep on topic?
Cos the aliens implanted you with the off topic bug
Was Dana Scully an alien?
I have no idea who Dana Scully is, so I'll have to say yes.
Is it peanut butter jelly time?
It's never peanut butter jelly time. There is no such thing.
What would it be like to walk on the moon?
Ask Michael Jackson.
Why doesnt ^his^ moonwalk look anything like the one the astronauts did?
Because astronauts and musicians have two completely different perceptions of reality.
Why were humans put on Earth?
To give the aliens directions to Mars.
Why do dogs sleep so much?
Because otherwise they'd just misbehave.
Why have seven different people messaged me tonight, but the one person I actually want to talk to is ignoring me?
Cos being loved by seven others means you have a nice laugh.
I just had a coffee. Why am I hungry?
Because there is a miniature black hole in your stomach.
Why did the school holidays go by so quickly?
Cos the schools were turbo charged
Why am I so irritated?
