Last murderer was dek, so...

I kidnap dek and pay the Russians to launch both of us into space. I then fly to just the right distance from a black hole not to be pulled into it. I then throw the sack containing dek into the airlock and jettison her into the black hole.

I give InsaneGuy all the symptoms I'm feeling right now - hurting head, raw eyes, sneezy nose, fever - and then make him work on all my tasks and watch his slow death as I sit back and enjoy the Tour de France.

I summon Fireball from the previous episode of this game and command him to step on dek.

The wifi drops out YET AGAIN, and I get so mad, I pick up InsaneGuy instead of the modem and throw him out of the window

Play any song by one of the pop idol winners (or one of the other talentless competions).  They can murder just about anything associated with music.

Oh my... you know how to kill me via torture. How did that get out?!

I sit next to Mr Dent and ask him Why questions. He pulls his pen out and pens himself to death

I stab dek with a violin bow.

So there.

Yeouch

I take Morgan to my secret spot on the Blue Mountains and offer her all the alcohol she can drink. She then conveniently falls off the cliff and I quietly drive away

Oohh I like it

Zombie Morgan crawls back from the blue mountains, following the scent of the dekmobile. Upon arrival, I trash the poor baby and dek comes out to see the wreck and dies of heartache.

I project the radiation from my own personal All Spark into the, now dilapidated, dekmobile.* Refusing to repair its casing for some reason, this newborn Transformer changes into its humanoid form and points its cannon at me; however, I claim to be its master before anyone else gets a chance to. After I fool around giving it some test commands, I finally make it do something worthwhile - shoot a missile at Morgan and blow her to smithereens.

* Now that Morgan's coined that term, we might as well use it as the name the monster I just made.

Unfortunately the term 'dekmobile' has been around for ages and it's copyright belongs in the Cars topic of Tangler.  InsaneGuy is prosecuted by Tangler for breach of copyright in some tiny little country in Micronesia who's punishment for copyright laws include the death sentence for those found guilty.  Inevitably InsaneGuy is found guilty and executed by their traditional method of having his skin peeled off, dipped in salt, taken out to sea in a small boat writhing in pain and then being chucked overboard with a bag of rubby dubby tied to his leg (which attracts sharks) and is then ripped apart and eaten by the sharks, resulting in his death.

Dek is so overjoyed with Mr Dent for defending dekmobile's copyright that she hugs him to death

dek is flattened by a satellite that fell out of orbit.

InsaneGuy is made to watch unending reruns of Seinfeld until he goes mad and tickles himself to death

The whole world is forced to watch a millionth of a second of some (or any) episode of Big Brother and then instantly dies of extreme boredom.  The ones who are brave enough to watch a millionth of a second further die of horrendous mental problems.  Therefore the whole world and everyone they know is murdered therefore no-one else can be murdered.

Fortunately, since I was hijacking Mir at that moment, I was never assaulted by Arthur (nor was anyone else on the station) before I took Mir's wheel and steered the entire station towards Earth. By a 1-in-1230251685479 chance, Arthur Dent was within the impact zone when Mir hit the face of the Earth at 42713km/h, 90 seconds after I and my hostages-turned-friends jumped out each with a spare re-entry shield and a parachute made of industrial-strength materials, and 90 seconds before we all made safe landings in and around Düsseldorf.

Unfortunately Dusseldorf is the most dangerous place in the known universe and all the Mir survivors were murdered, while celebrating their survival, in a cocktail bar on the junction of Tote Straße and Messer im Zurückplatz

And there he was, the laughing murderer, and stole stuff from the corpses. He really like the parachute - he could use it the next time he was going to cut somebody's head of with a sword. And then he got hit by a grenade from another insane murderer.

then i woke up from this bad dream, grabed my gun and went into the hallway of the holiday inn i was staying at because something didnt feel right. i look out and their is dek. im in her cross hairs, luckley i get a couple shots off before she can and i kill her.